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5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

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A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude.       Napoleon Hill

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

“The past has no power over the present moment.”
―Eckhart Tolle

There is great value in every act of forgiveness.  You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, and you can forgive even when you don’t know exactly who to forgive, because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is at fault.  It is about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has already happened, and that there’s no point in allowing it to dominate the rest of your life.  Forgiveness refreshingly cleans the slate and enables you to step forward.  Here are five unique ways to make this step possible:

1.  Stop trying for a while.

If you’re trying hard and haplessly making zero progress, stop trying.  Stop trying and start being.

When you see yourself as trying – to do something else or get somewhere else – you don’t interpret what you have and where you are as being good enough.  This perception of constantly trying makes living seem like an endless struggle.

There is great value within you right here, right now.  Allow it to come out, willingly and without a struggle.  Instead of trying to get to some other point in your life, give your full attention to doing your very best with the life you are living now.  Instead of believing that you are not there yet, be grateful that you are right where you are meant to be at this moment.

Yes, by all means set goals and take steps in the right direction, but don’t disregard the steps as you take them – these steps are your life’s story.  Let go of all the needless trying and let yourself take these steps peacefully and mindfully.  Let go of the judgments, forgive the past, and let this moment be as incredible as it is.  (This is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity and Happiness chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Be the watcher of your thoughts and emotions.

In his best selling book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle tells us to be the watcher of our thoughts.  What he suggests is that instead of trying to change our thoughts – via gratitude or deliberate forgiveness, for example – we need to simply notice our thoughts without getting caught up in them.

You are ultimately the sole creator of your own feelings.  When negative thoughts arise based on past experiences or future worries, as they sometimes will, realize that these are simply issues your mind (not you) is working through.  Pause, be present and pay close attention.  Think about these thoughts and emotions consciously, almost as if you were a bystander looking in.  Separate yourself from your mind’s thinking.

Perhaps after you study your thoughts and emotions you will think to yourself, “Wow, am I really still working through that?”  And guess what?  Over time, your negative feelings and emotions will lessen and genuine awareness, love and acceptance will grow in their place.  You will begin to realize that your mind is just an instrument, and you are in control of your mind, not the other way around.

By not judging your thoughts or blaming them on anyone else, and merely watching them, there will be a big shift within you – your sense of self worth.

It’s not like you won’t get upset anymore or never feel anxious, but knowing that your thoughts and emotions are just fleeting feelings that are independent of YOU will help ease your tension and increase your positive presence, allowing you to forgive and let go.

3.  Love.

Feeling sorry for yourself and sabotaging the present moment with resentful thoughts of the past won’t make anything better.  Hurting someone else will never ease your own inner angst.

If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with someone else, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you.  Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life.

The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.

Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth.  There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them.  Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible.

If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain.  Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness.  Find the light.  Act out of love.  Do something that will enable you to move forward toward a more fulfilling reality.  There is always something good you can do.  There is always love to give.  Fill your heart with it and act in everyone’s best interest, especially your own.

4.  Seek positive revenge by living well.

Are you contemplating revenge?  You know that’s negative thinking getting the best of you.  However, there is a way to seek revenge positively.

How?  Forget about them.  Remember you.  Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others.  Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead.  If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your positive energy will attract more positive results into your current reality.

Be unlike the person or situation that hurt you.  Let go and grow past your pain.  Carry on living well in a way that creates peace in your heart.  The energy you would spend trying to get real revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself.

The bottom line is that the best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing a fresh smile on your face.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

5.  Let go of the need to forgive every mistake.

Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.  Most of the time they just need to be accepted, not forgiven.

There is an obvious shift in your heart and mind that happens when you go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place.

To help you wrap your head around this concept, try to look at your situation from 40,000 feet.  Imagine a more seasoned, wiser and more compassionate version of yourself sitting at the mountaintop of life, looking down and watching as the younger minded, current version of you hacks your way through life.

You see yourself holding on to false beliefs and making epic errors of judgment as you manoeuvre through life’s many obstacles.  You watch the children of the world growing up in challenging times that test their sense of self-confidence, yet they push forward bravely.  You see the coming generation radiating with passion and love as they fail forward, learning through their mistakes.

And you have to wonder:  Would this wiser version of yourself conclude that everyone in their own unique way was doing their very best.  And if everyone is trying to do their best, what needs to be forgiven?  Not being perfect?

Perfection doesn’t exist.  Forgiveness is oftentimes the simple realization that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.

Your turn…

Who would you like to forgive?  What stressful burdens do you need to let go of and rise above? 

We will forget and forgive any judgment error that you make, but integrity mistakes are forever. — David Cottrell

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Motivation Recharge

"Set a goal to achieve something that is so big, so exhilarating that it excites you and scares you at the same time. It must be a goal that is so appealing, so much in line with your spiritual core, that you can’t get it out of your mind. If you do not get chills when you set a goal, your not setting big enough goals." Bob Proctor

How to Recharge Your Motivation

Sometimes, when you have so many items on your to-do list, getting anything important accomplished becomes daunting. All the menial tasks start to take up the majority of your time and, before you know it, the important things fall by the wayside. Finding the motivation to continue pursuing the things that really matter to you is not something you can just do once. Staying motivated requires taking the time to occasionally re-focus your thoughts and priorities, outline your goals, and do things that help you feel inspired and creative! The practice of recharging your motivation will help you follow through on your goals and make real progress in your life.

Re-examine your focus

Take a minute to reflect on how you currently spend your time. Sometimes, without realizing it, we can get stuck spending too much time on things that aren’t the most important to us. What are your main priorities and goals in life? I have four main commitments in my life that stem from different categories. Each day I try to spend time with my family, working, exercising, and being spiritual. Too frequently, I notice that one area has started to slip and I again need to revisit how I spend my time and allocate more or less time to certain areas.

Get inspired

When you have a big goal that might take some time to accomplish, it’s important to continue to inspire yourself. Spend time in environments that help you feel creative and motivated! Whether you feel inspired walking around the city, getting lost in the library, spending a day at the beach or in the mountains, or even just

talking with people who have accomplished what you’re striving for, make sure you spend time inspiring and motivating yourself to continue pursuing your goals.

Create an end goal

If you’ve noticed that you’ve been less motivated to achieve one of your goals or stick to a priority in your life, figure out what motivates you in that area. For some people, they need to have an “end” in their mind, something to work towards. For example, if you’re a runner, but you can’t find the motivation to hit the trail, you might consider signing up for a race in 3-6 months. With the end goal of the race, you’ll be more motivated to get up and run each day. Whatever your goal is, find something that motivates you to continue working toward it.

Examine your progress

When you’re working toward a goal, a great motivator can be to examine how far you’ve already come. If your goal is to be fluent in Spanish, reflect on how much you’ve learned so far. Maybe now you can have a small conversation in Spanish and understand even more. Take notes of your progress and track how much you’ve improved. The ability to track your progress will help you see that all your hard work is paying off and inspire you to continue.

“Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.” – Zig Ziglar

"You do not always have to know when you are going to get to your goal, or how you are going to get to your goal, but you do need to take the next step." Peggy McColl

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Gray Lawrence

 Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

 

Seven Secrets True Leadership

Leadership lesson 8 stand guard at the door of your mind

7 Secrets I Learnt From The Leadership Pill by Ken Blanchard

1. Leadership is not just what happens when you are there. It’s what happens when you are not there.

This is a very useful distinction and should become an outcome for anyone who wants to lead. Team that functions even if the leader is not around is something unique and requires a different level of skills. The next points will give couple of ideas how to get there. A great leader builds their people. The better your people, the more free time you have.

2. Profit is the applause you get for taking care of your customers and creating a motivating environment for people.

Isn’t it an interesting twist in perception and sequence? There are so many organisations that do exactly opposite. This model helps to remove from constantly focusing on just getting a quick financial gain that looks good in a short term, but on the other hand it can strongly damage the two most important parts of your organisations: your customers and your team.

3. Leadership is not something you do to people, it is something you do with them.

Simple but powerful truth. If you are setting off for a team leading journey, remember to take your team with you. Communicate and involve. Simple but also so often forgotten.

4. The key to effective leadership is the relationship you build with your team.

An extension from the previous points. The relationship you build with your team should be the way how you judge your success as a leader.

5. Sharing the big picture puts everyone on the same page.

Effective communication will always be the key leadership skill while building a team. A clear vision gives the strong sense of direction, or even a sense of excitement and a powerful drive, if properly communicated.

6. You will go a lot further if you stop to refuel.

That is something I must admit I have been guilty of. It is so crucially important to pause, relax and change your perception with different activities, different people. So take time for sport, short trips, dancing, reading watching movies, hiking etc. If you are scoring and winning take time to celebrate, if you are missing your target and not really getting what you want, find time to reflect and get some distance to gain new perspective. Albert Einstein put it nicely: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”

7. The highest achievement of a leader is winning respect and trust of your team.

Again, I love what Ken Blanchard is doing here. Measure your success of leadership not by financial numbers but trust and respect. These two ingredients will lay a solid foundation that will be a springboard for long lasting financial results.

Hope these 7 nuggets from Ken Blanchard take your leadership skills to the max!

Here’s To Your Success

 

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.
Your world will become what you choose to make it. You can reach great heights of success, or you can settle for a miserable life that is devoid of hope. The choice is yours. When you choose a positive course, you set in motion an unstoppable force that will allow you to have a fulfilling career, the love of your family and friends, good physical and mental health, and all of the other true riches of life. To change your world, you must change it from the inside out. You must begin with yourself. When you choose the course that puts your life on a positive track, you will change your life for the better, and you will also positively influence the people with whom you come in contact. Napoleon Hill

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor  Utility Warehouse

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Five top tips to starting a successful business

 

The fastest way to receive is to give, because giving starts the reciprocal action of receiving. We all receive according to how much we give. Give the best of you everywhere you go. Give a smile. Give thanks. Give kindness. Give love. Your giving should be a giving without expectation of return – a giving for the sheer joy of it. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne The Secret… bringing joy to billions

This message is from one of the greats in the world of successful business people Sir Richard Branson

As LinkedIn is a business that started in a living room, much like Virgin began in a basement, I thought my first blog on the site should be about how to simply start a successful business. Here are five top tips I’ve picked up over the years.

1. Listen more than you talk

Busy-more-than-one-phone_thumb3We have two ears and one mouth, using them in proportion is not a bad idea! To be a good leader you have to be a great listener. Brilliant ideas can spring from the most unlikely places, so you should always keep your ears open for some shrewd advice. This can mean following online comments as closely as board meeting notes, or asking the frontline staff for their opinions as often as the CEOs. Get out there, listen to people, draw people out and learn from them.

2. Keep it simple

You have to do something radically different to stand out in business. But nobody ever said different has to be complex. There are thousands of simple business solutions to problems out there, just waiting to be solved by the next big thing in business. Maintain a focus upon innovation, but don’t try to reinvent the wheel. A simple change for the better is far more effective than five complicated changes for the worse.

3. Take pride in your work

Believe-with-all-of-your-heart-that-[2]Last week I enjoyed my favourite night of the year, the Virgin Stars of the Year Awards, where we celebrated some of those people who have gone the extra mile for us around the Virgin world. With so many different companies, nationalities and personalities represented under one roof, it was interesting to see what qualities they all have in common. One was pride in their work, and in the company they represent. Remember your staff are your biggest brand advocates, and focusing on helping them take pride will shine through in how they treat your customers.

4. Have fun, success will follow

If you aren’t having fun, you are doing it wrong. If you feel like getting up in the morning to work on your business is a chore, then it’s time to try something else. If you are having a good time, there is a far greater chance a positive, innovative atmosphere will be nurtured and your business will flourish. A smile and a joke can go a long way, so be quick to see the lighter side of life.

5. Rip it up and start again

If you are an entrepreneur and your first venture isn’t a success, welcome to the club! Every successful businessperson has experienced a few failures along the way – the important thing is how you learn from them. Don’t allow yourself to get disheartened by a setback or two, instead dust yourself off and work out what went wrong. Then you can find the positives, analyse where you can improve, rip it up and start again.

Be a successful Business person it is what you deserve, Networking or another type of business, all is available to those who work at their ideas..

 

A burning desire to be and to do is the starting point from which the dreamer must take off.
Many years ago, the commencement speaker at a prestigious university asked all members of the graduating class who had a definite plan for their lives to hold up their hands. As he looked around the room, only three hands were raised. Twenty-five years later, when the class held a reunion, the combined net worth of those three individuals exceeded that of the remainder of the class. People who know where they are going, always achieve far greater levels of success than those who merely drift through life, expecting circumstances to create opportunities for them. Successful people create their own opportunities by focusing on goals with an intensity that borders on obsession. In this way, every action moves them toward their goal. Napoleon Hill

Gray Lawrence

Successful Networker

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

7 Little Ways to Make Life Simpler

PMA Added…

Discouraged by a problem – he is challenged by it. Mountains are created to be conquered; adversities are designed to be defeated; problems are sent to be solved. It is better to master one mountain than a thousand foothills." William Arthur Ward The experienced mountain climber is not intimidated by a mountain – he is inspired by it. The persistent winner is not

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

7 Little Ways to Make Your Life Simpler

Anyone can make today more complicated than it has to be, and most people will. It takes a touch of wisdom to do the opposite.

Our days fill up so fast, and are so frenzied and jammed with drama and distractions, they often seem to be bursting at the seams.  And the craziest part of it all is that we get so accustomed to this kind of chaos, we think it’s normal.  We go about each day without ever questioning why we feel so darn stressed out.

Angel and I lived this way for many years, until a time came when we were dealt a series of harsh reality checks that forced us to re-examine everything.  One of the key lessons we learned through this re-examination is that it’s not terribly hard to make our lives a whole lot simpler and happier, one day at a time… one step at a time.

Today, I encourage you to join us on our daily journey of living a simpler, happier life by following the seven steps I’ve outlined below.  Keep in mind, however, that while Angel and I have fully incorporated each of these steps into our daily lives, we did so gradually.  I suggest you choose one right now and begin working on it.  Then revisit this list when you’re ready to take the next step.

  1. Identify what’s most important, and eliminate the rest. – This may sound like a drastic measure to some, but it’s really not.  Today will quickly fill up with time-wasting activities if you aren’t careful.  Thus, you must remember that being productive isn’t just about getting things done – it’s also about leaving things undone.  The simplicity and efficiency of today relies heavily on the elimination of non-essential tasks.  You must identify what’s most important to you, and then eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.
  2. DE clutter your physical space. – DE cluttering your physical space not only makes things more organized, but it also leads to a less cluttered mental space.  The visual distractions in your environment pull on you and distract you in more ways than you likely realize.  If you’re holding on to things you don’t need, let go and donate them to someone who does.  Give yourself some extra breathing room.  And remember, it’s not just how many (or how few) things you own that matters – it’s whether you make those things count.  For example, it’s better to have three great books on your bookshelf that you’re actually going to read rather than 300 that only take up space.  (Read The More of Less for DE cluttering strategies that work.  Note: We read an advance copy of this book, and it’s a must-read.)
  3. Schedule at least one distraction-free time block each day. – Distractions are nothing more than complications.  So once you know you’re focusing on what’s important, and your space is relatively clutter-free, eliminating all distractions for a set time while you work is one of the most effective ways to get things done.  Just lock your door, put a sign up, turn off your phone, close your email application, disconnect your internet connection, whatever it takes.  You can’t remain in hiding forever, but you can be twice as peaceful and twice as productive while you are.
  4. Leave space between everything on your to-do list. – It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with tasks.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Leave space.  The space between the things you do is just as important as the things you do.  Remember, your overarching goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the things people fill their lives with, leaving you with space for what’s truly important.  A life that isn’t constant busyness, rushing and stress, but instead mindful contemplation, creation and connection with people and projects that bring meaning into your life.
  5. Disconnect from the drama. – When your day gets stressful and the people around you aren’t helping, keep in mind that the battle you’re going through is never fuelled by the things other people do; it is fuelled by your mind that gives these things importance.  Even if you have a good reason to be angry and resentful, don’t.  Channel your energy into thoughts and actions that actually benefit your life – build positive daily rituals that build YOU.  And as you move forward positively, remember, there is a huge amount of simplicity and freedom that comes into your life when you take nothing personally.  (Angel and I build positive daily rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
  6. Let go of life’s uncontrollable outcomes. – When you attempt to control too much, you complicate things, and thus you enjoy too little.  Sometimes you just need to let go, take a deep breath and love what is.  Make mistakes, learn from the realities around you, laugh about it all and then move along.  Waste not a minute on outcomes you can’t control.  This, I’ve learned, is the best way to be in all walks of life… You can stop trying to change people, and just let go and dissolve into their presence – just notice who they truly are, just appreciate every idiosyncratic quirk.  You can stop complaining about your life circumstances, about your losses, about how the world is, and just let go and love what is.  Just be.  Just accept.  Just appreciate.
  7. Reflect on the goodness. – One of the primary reasons we complicate our lives is because we become ungrateful.  We lose our enthusiasm and then we go looking for it in all the wrong places.  We think we need more of everything to find it again, when in fact we need less.  We need less clutter, less distraction, less drama and less busyness, so we can create the space we once had to appreciate what we have.  And what we have is always more than enough.  Reflect on this.  Never let all the things you want make you forget about all the things you have.  Consider how very fortunate you are.  Consider it every day.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Simplicity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

 

"Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviours. Keep your behaviours positive, because your behaviours become your habits. Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny." Gandhi

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill

Gray Lawrence

Utility Warehouse Distributor

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

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