Posts Tagged ‘understanding’

Think! Be the Best You Can Be Before Helping Others.

A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform Herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude. – Napoleon Hill

Think! Be the Best You Can Be Before Helping Others.
When you develop a Positive Mental Attitude, you immediately set yourself apart from the crowd, you feel better, healthier and stronger. You become a leader because positive thinking leads to positive action, while negative thinking leads you in the wrong direction! When you take the initiative, others will follow simply because they like to associate with people who know where they are going.

In order to lead, however, you must first be willing to discipline yourself, be honest and open. The first rule of leadership is never to ask others to do what you are unwilling to do yourself. You can lead only by example. Being a leader requires you to work harder and longer than the others and proving you are the master of your own destiny. Be all that you are and all you can be!

To share your passion in helping others to achieve their desires not yours! Training is important No One went to work before going to school.

Be in business for yourself but not by yourself, have the freedom working from home and not a slave to the pay packet, you deserve better! You deserve the income we all dream of; it’s not just for the Entrepreneurs’ of the past but of the future! Not everyone can be a Richard Branson or The Sultan of Brunei; they amassed their wealth in different ways one from Royalty and one from hard work and faith in one’s own ability! They both have a gift! Why not you? Are you willing to be: a pupil, to be taught, patient, understanding and ready to live your dreams and desires?

Gray Lawrence

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.
Your world will become what you choose to make it. You can reach great heights of success, or you can settle for a miserable life that is devoid of hope. The choice is yours. When you choose a positive course, you set in motion an unstoppable force that will allow you to have a fulfilling career, the love of your family and friends, good physical and mental health, and all of the other true riches of life. To change your world, you must change it from the inside out. You must begin with yourself. When you choose the course that puts your life on a positive track, you will change your life for the better, and you will also positively influence the people with whom you come in contact. Napoleon Hill

Natural Selling Feed Back Lesson Six the last but one


You can’t control others’ acts, but you can control your reaction to their acts, and that is what counts most to you.
No one can make you feel any negative emotion — fear, anger, or inferiority — without your express permission. There will always be people who find perverse enjoyment in upsetting others, or who simply play upon your emotions so that they can use you for their own selfish purposes. Whether or not they are successful depends entirely upon you and how you react to their negative behaviours. When you are forced to deal with such people, recognize from the outset that they are trying to upset you, not because of something you may have done to them, but because of some problem they have with themselves. Tell yourself, “This isn’t about me. I will not allow this person to upset me. I am in control of my emotions and my life.” Napoleon Hill

The Importance of Feedback

Today, we look at the 4th Principle and a very important part of the Natural Selling Approach.

The fourth Principle Feeding Back What You Think You Heard

Leading a team being carried on an arrow the way aheadTo ensure continual understanding, feeding back or clarifying what you think you heard, is something you will learn to do on a constant basis throughout your dialogue, making sure that you’re on the right track, using phrases like…

"Let me repeat that to make sure I understand what you’re saying" or * "Would you go over that again to make sure I understand…?"

Don’t take anything for granted as you progress.

If you don’t understand something, ask for it to be repeated.

Think about the saying; "I know you think you know what I said but what I said is not what I really meant!"

Also, summarizing what you think you heard gives the other person the opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Words and phrases can often mean different things to different people.

Remember, we are all individuals and we each have our own view of the world!

A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion.. This is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds and you will know too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.                            From the book Illusions.

The ultimate feedback is at the end of your conversation when you are presenting your solution. This is the time when you are in a position to summarize what a person has, what they are looking for and why they want it and how you can help them get it by offering your solution. If you feedback, recap and present this based on everything they told you, you will have truly demonstrated a complete understanding.

And people love people who understand them. It’s extraordinary what people will tell you if you listen to them. Why? Because you’ll be one in a million who does listen, and if you do it with love and care, you become a very valuable person.

In fact, you create value in you and everything you represent with your ability to ask questions, listen and feedback.

listening takes practice and it takes patience  but I promise if you listen your story will be better for itThe point is that by not focusing on selling your solutions services, but focusing on discovering and understanding problems and getting behind them first, to see whether you can help, and whether the other person is prepared to be helped, you will both see people’s challenges more clearly.

As well, when you understand what a person is really looking for and why they want it you will be able to customize your solution and present it so that it personally means something to them.

The last lesson number seven! we will review the material we have covered and take a look at the next step.


Call centre group in circle1. Think about a time you might have found yourself in when you were talking with someone and you realized that you had been talking "at cross purposes". They meant something completely different from what you thought they did? Think about how that happened and the consequences of it.

2. When you’re talking with people today, make a point of feeding back to them what they are saying to you. Don’t overdo it!

Especially ask for clarification with words or phrases they might use that are unfamiliar to you.

3. Go to a busy restaurant and listen closely to two people talking.

Observe whether their conversation is on the same track or whether they are having two or more different conversations!

If it’s two or more, ask yourself whether you do the same thing and if you do, what you can do to correct it.

Know yourself! Watch how you manifest the small things in life and think about how you felt inside with those things. Think about how easily they came. You will find that you thought of a small thing once and never thought about it again, and then it manifested.

What really happened was you didn’t think any thoughts or speak any words which contradicted what you wanted, so the law of attraction was able to do its work.

May the joy be with you, – Rhonda Byrne The Secret

I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama

Natural Selling Lesson five The Power of Listening

"My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."  Jane Austen

“The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth . The decision is yours”   Gray Lawrence

The Power of Listening

Listening – The Most Important Skill You Can Learn

Principle 3. Listening to What is Being Meant, Not Just What is Being Said.

Ask yourself. Do you really listen to people? Do you really listen to and actually attempt to understand what they are saying and meaning without letting your own interpretations get in the way?

This is how most people listen. 45% of the time is spent doing what?

Working out what they’re going to say next!

Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the conversation so that they can say it!!! Leaving only 10% of the time for actual listening!

So are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it?  No we’re not!

So what percentage of time must we listen?  100%!

To actually listen to, hear and understand what another person is saying, we must spend 100% of the time listening.

Now, you might ask, how do you listen 100% of the time without thinking?

Well, here are a few clues.

The Power of Your mind Head with detailsFirst, you can think 10 times faster than most people can talk.

If you know how the features of your solutions solve problems, you’ll hear what specific features are relevant and how to talk about them later as specific advantages and benefits.

It takes the guessing out of what to present and how to present it.

Imagine having all your features in lots of automatic drawers in your mind… just like your CD drawer in your computer… and having the correct ones automatically pop out based on what you hear a person wants.

Secondly, you don’t have to think about what you’re going to ask next, because;

1. You will know what questions to ask and when to ask them by learning from a powerful framework that is available to you in the Natural Selling Approach

2. What you’re going to ask is also found in the answers you get to your previous questions! It’s all there! It’s just that you have to listen to the answers to get the information

3. Stop re-interpreting what people say to you based on your own biases or life’s experiences, or your own judgments, prejudices and thoughts! All this does is get in your way of understanding. People don’t think what you think they think!

You’re thinking that they do can get in your way!

For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you made and it was totally out of context with what you meant, and you wondered where he or she was coming from? Well, it’s likely that the other person was interpreting what they thought you were talking about. Do you do the same thing to others?

If you don’t listen and are impatiently waiting to say what you want to say you’ll miss vital clues to help your potential partner or customer come to a logical conclusion to change.

Result? You’ll miss the mark and will meet resistance most of the time!

"Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."  Og Mandino

Let’s look at this more closely. What do you normally listen for when people reply to your questions? Do you listen to what you want to hear with the intent to reply based on what you want to say? Or do you listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from and reply to them based on their own deep inner truth?

People Have Two Truths

For example, if you ask a person whether they like their job, or whether they like the skin care products they are presently taking, would you hope they would say no? In the Natural Selling Approach, it doesn’t matter what they answer, because people carry "Two truths". The Natural Selling Approach allows people to reveal both sides of their truths, and reveal which is the stronger.

The power of your positive action is a force greater than you can fathomHere is an illustration. If you ask someone if they like where they live they could reply Yes or No. If they said, "Yes", and you asked later, "If you could live anywhere else, where would that be?" and they gave another location, you will have discovered there is another truth to explore. One of those two "Truths" will ultimately reveal itself as stronger than the other.

If they replied "No" to the first question and were subsequently asked the same question about living somewhere else, again the real truth gets revealed.

Listening is such a powerful skill. If you learn how to listen to people you’ll find that they will immediately be attracted to you and most will want to listen to you. A large part of my book is spent demonstrating how you can do this.

You may find it useful to take a short test of your listening skills that I have devised. Click below. You might be surprised at the results!

Now you’ve covered some of the basics behind the importance of listening, let’s turn your attention to what you’re listening for. We’ll recap the


Listening to What is Being Meant, not Just What is Being Said.

The two key words here are, said and meant.

Said is the logical or factual side of the problem solving equation. It comprises about 10% of the problem. Meant is the personal, feelings or subjective side… and it comprises the other 90%.

In The Natural Selling Approach what is important is to focus more on what is being meant. Why? Well, do people make changes based mostly on logic or feelings? Feelings! So that is the level you have most of your dialogues.

To illustrate this, think of someone saying they don’t have enough money.

Is that a fact or a feeling? It’s a fact! They might say it with feeling, but it’s still a fact.

So if you were to ask someone, "What one thing would make a difference in your life?", which is a logical question, and they said, "More money", which is a logical answer… and you then responded with your solution by saying, "I can show you how to do that"… you would be talking at a logical and factual level. And what response do you think you would get from most people?

Negative or positive? Mostly they will reject your idea.

The reason is that talking logically with people won’t help you very much to help them because you’re only addressing 10% of their problem if they have one!

If you want to be of help, find out what is underneath this problem called "lack of money". In other words, find out what is causing it, what it means to them personally and how they feel about it. Find out the meaning of what they say, not just what they are saying. You will find their answers are totally unique to them, and if you respond to their uniqueness as opposed to coming out with a canned presentation or script, you will automatically attract them to you.

"Facts belong to the world. Feelings belong to the individual".

If you ask without manipulation, most people will tell you.

It’s also where the relationship and the sale is. To be more precise, it’s where both of you can discover if there is a need and the depth of desire to do something about it.

So understanding how to listen and what to listen for and how to respond is vital in the Natural Selling Approach.

And when you understand what someone wants and why they want it…. you will be able to customize your solution and present it in such a precise way that it will mean something to the other person based on how they see things. Why will you be able to do this? Because they will have told you everything you need to know to make your winning presentation.

What are todays thoughts? think about what has been covered today before the next lesson.

Feeding Back What You Think You Heard!


Continue yesterdays exercise. Each time you have a conversation with someone today, turn it into a Dialogue. Focus simply on LISTENING to them!

As far as possible, don’t say anything yourself except to ask questions and keep the Dialogue moving along.

When in Dialogue, observe yourself and be aware of how often you have the urge to interrupt or finish the other person’s sentences for them! Ask yourself whether you’re really serving yourself (or the other person) by doing this!

Your success is your decision: these lessons are a guide, the rest is up to you….


If you can’t manage your own mental attitude, what makes you think you can manage others?

Why is it that often those who believe they would be the best managers of others – if they were only given the opportunity – haven’t learned to manage themselves properly? Before you can ever have any hope of managing others effectively, you must first learn to set an example for others to follow. It is simply impossible for you to inspire others to high levels of achievement if you cannot inspire yourself to do the same. Don’t make the mistake that many others make by saying, “When they make me a manager, I’ll show them I can manage.” The first move is yours. You must first prove yourself worthy.    Napoleon Hill


Gray Lawrence                      Successful Networker                                                                    Opportunities are never lost. . . . They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

Successful Networker What Colour are you?

One of the most beneficial practices I know of is that of looking for the good in everyone and everything, for there is good in all things.

People Colour ChartI am pleased that this has been sent out again as I think it is a wonderful concept on who we are and how to understand each other, nothing is added as this is perfection in itself    well except a little added PMA, what do you expect from me.. enjoy   If the link does not work email me at and I will send the email direct to you.   Gray



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The attitude of the mind affects the expression of the face, determines action, changes our physical condition and regulates our lives.

Gray Lawrence 

Successful & Ambitious Networker

“Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

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