Posts Tagged ‘Travelled’

Apache Wedding Blessing – unknown

This is beautiful to any reader no matter it be a wedding or just daily affection to each other, I love it!  I only added a little PMA..

"To live a life you love; plan, organize, and structure your life such that each day is spent in an environment that supports your Soul Purpose." Garrett Gunderson

Now you will fear no storms,. for each of you will be shelter to the other.       Now you will feel  no cold, for each of you will be warm to each other.           Now there is no loneliness, fro each of you is companion to each other.          You are two persons, but there is one life before  you and one at home.

Turn together to look at the road you travelled, to reach this… the hour of your happiness.  It stretches behind you into the past.                                              Look to the future that lies ahead.  A long and winding, adventure filled road, whose every turn means discovery,  new hopes, new joys, new laughter, and a few shared tears.

May happiness be your companion, may beauty surround you both in the journey ahead: and through all the years to come.                                         Go this day  to your dwelling place and enter into your days together.  May your day’s be good and long upon the earth.                                                      Your adventure has just begun!           Unknown.                   


Gray Lawrence

"Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." Og Mandino

How to inspire change BY KARIN DAMES

5 Ways to Inspire Change - People Development Network

Karin Dames

Transformation coach at Pure Growth

Karin DamesWith nearly 20 years experience in the software development industry, Karin moved into a coaching role. She specializes in helping teams get unstuck and creating high-performance teams while actively participating in projects. She is passionate about creating highly productive, happy workplaces and learning organizations where each person thrives.




Have you ever been so frustrated with your work environment that you want to run away, never to come back again?  Have you ever felt desperately hopeless, not knowing how to motivate your people or make your manager listen to you?  Or have you ever felt so powerless to change what seems like the size of the Titanic, overwhelmed and outnumbered, in your attempt to improve your working conditions and results?

The sad truth is, from personal experience in any case, that if you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re far from alone.  Rather, I would risk saying that you are in a very average organization. Chances are that the majority of the people and workplaces you interact with will feel very similar.

It’s like a constant tug of war between employer and employee. The employee feels frustrated that the workplace doesn’t change, and the employer feels frustrated that the employees don’t change.

Everyone waits for someone, or something else to change, resulting in no change at all.

We rather choose the road more travelled, the typical keeping-up-with-the-Jones’ syndrome, out of fear of embarking on something new and unknown. We follow the buzzwords and do things the way it’s always been done, rather than exploring unknown territory.  We are so afraid that we might end up in a dead end and have to turn around, even though on the other hand, we might discover a valuable treasure. Our inborn negativity bias makes us choose known over unknown whenever there is the slightest risk of failure.

Yet, the most beautiful view always emerges after the hardest climb.  And did Columbus not explore unknown territory, the world as we know it would be a very different place.  In order to succeed, you need to embrace and inspire change.  Don’t wait for someone else to change. Rather, be the change you want to see in your workplace.

Here are five ways to inspire change in your workplace:

1. It must be a choice

You can’t tell someone to be inspired, so don’t try to tell someone to change.  No change forced on someone will result in sustained change.

To use the brilliant metaphor by Rick Hanson, forced change is like Teflon – nothing sticks – while voluntary change is like Velcro.

For change to stick, it has to be voluntary.

If you believe you d1on’t have the time to get buy-in, think again.  The reason why people fall back into old habits the moment that there is a crisis is because it gives them permission to break the rules, allowing them to do things the way they feel comfortable with and prefer, not the rules imposed on them by management.

Taking the time to allow people to choose the change might postpone the change for a while, yet it will probably result in a successful and sustainable change in the end.  Forcing change on someone because there is no time, will most certainly result in the transformation failing. Not only have you wasted a lot of time, you don’t have any results to show for it.   So do you really not have the time?

2. Demonstrate quick wins

One of the most valuable things I learned as a consultant was to identify and implement quick wins immediately.  As consultants usually come with a much higher price tag than full-time employees, they are expected to show value for money immediately.

When someone is not aware of the need to change, try to find one small, actionable thing that will immediately show an improvement.  Demonstrating quick wins are like giving a sample of a product.  Either they will see the value and want more, or decide that it is not for them.  Yet, even though they decide not to embark on a journey of change immediately, your quick win has planted a seed which will surely germinate and grow into a plant sooner or later.

Listen to the complaints, and address the biggest pain point without asking for any resources or incentives.

To demonstrate what I mean, I recently had the opportunity to spend time at a design and print company. The owner complained about the constant, and often unnecessary, interruptions, keeping her from doing what she’s good at, namely the creative side of things.  On top of that, her workload seemed extremely high yet she didn’t know what to do about it. The helpers she employed, on the other hand, seemed to do nothing for large parts of the day.

After further investigation, I realized her management style was the main cause of both problems – an easy problem to solve. I immediately implemented a simple Scrum board which stopped the interruptions by having two daily stand-ups to discuss any issues, alleviating her biggest pain point. The following week, on a quiet day, I facilitated a training session to allow the under-utilized employees to do the printing.  It left her much happier, able to focus on the creative side while filling up the other employee’s day and learning a much desired new skill which they.

Neither required any additional resources or investments while giving immediate relief for the most painful problem. It also proved valuable enough to her to commit on embarking on coaching program with me.

3. Adapt your style

Having spent a year in Thailand teaching English, I’ve had to find ways to get my lessons across without speaking Thai.  I quickly realized that tried and tested methods that worked in the western culture had no value in the Thai culture. I had to change my teaching style.

What I, for example, considered to be a world famous people, places or things in order to explain concepts, they have never heard of.  To make it worse, their language doesn’t seem to have any similarities to English.  There are no tenses in Thai, no punctuation, no distinction between sentences and paragraphs, and the sounds are totally different, with concepts such as word stress unknown to them.

Determined to succeed, however, I experimented with ways to leverage on learning methods they are familiar with, like remembering and repeating facts and finding fields of interest that would spark their interest by giving them projects where they could choose the object of the discussion.

When the student doesn’t understand, it’s the teacher’s fault.

Suddenly I found that my students not only keen to come to class, but their progress was extraordinary.  I taught the same skills, but I changed my style.

Similarly, with organizational change, you can’t expect the employees to buy into the change program by speaking your language.  You need to adapt your style to speak in a language that the recipient understands.

4. Push through the discomfort

When people stubbornly refuse to see the need for change, it often hurts the people and organization around them.  Either because of fear or ego, they hold onto dysfunctional situations, causing more harm each day they refuse to change. To make a stubborn leader aware of a need to change, direct confrontation might be required, pushing through the discomfort that follows with compassion.

Sometimes you have to open the wound in order to remove the splinter.

To get the other person to see your point, you have to honestly say what you think and feel, even though it might hurt the other person.  When they get angry or want to walk away, keep going.  Push through.  Don’t stop!

Denial is usually followed by anger.  Anger always covers a deep hurt, with people feeling humiliated, embarrassed, vulnerable, exposed.  Treat them with the necessary kindness and compassion, and finally, attempt to find a resolution.

5. Walk away

Sometimes people will not allow you to push through the discomfort, and the best thing you can do in this case is to walk away.

Either both they and you will be relieved from the discomfort that a change agent demands or they will realize the need for change and finally see your value.

You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it.

Most people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.  By walking away you give the company the opportunity to see your true worth.  If they really value you, they will ask for you to come back and in so commit to change. If they don’t, you will be much happier in a more nurturing work environment where you feel more valued.

Don’t hold onto a dysfunctional environment. They might not be ready for the change you propose, or they might not think it is needed.  Either, or, change has to be voluntary.


Being an inspiring leader who inspires change in the workplace is not a special gift you are born with, it is a skill like any that you can learn.

Change starts with an awareness that there is a need to change.  It requires courage to explore the unknown and be vulnerable.  Inspiring sustainable change requires voluntary buy-in into the change program and a strong leader who will be able to push through the fears.

Gray Lawrence

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

The Road not taken–Robert Frost

“When will man who walks all roads decide that he is lost”  Gray

Two roads diverge in a yellow wood And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveller, Long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other as just as fair and having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same .

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubt if I should ever come back.

I should be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence Two roads diverge into a wood And I took the one less travelled by And that I made all the difference.

Robert Frost – The Road not taken

Don’t push others around if you have no blisters on your own feet.
Good officers lead by example and make sure the troops are cared for before attending to their own needs. When you treat others respectfully and never ask another to do something you would be unwilling to do yourself, you are entitled to the respect of others — and they will freely give it. But you cannot expect others to continue marching until they have blisters on their feet while you ride in the jeep. Leading others means you must be willing to give far more of yourself than you would ever ask from them. – Napoleon Hill

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

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