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Goal Setting Values

This passage is from a renown leader in Network Marketing:  Mr Mike Sherratt

PMA comments & Pictures are added for my own belief BUT do not take a2ay the importance of the message

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

build blocks goals

What is the real value of setting goals?

I believe 100% in the power of setting goals to bring about the results you want to achieve in your life. My beliefs have been reinforced by seeing goals materialise in my clients’ lives, my family’s life as well as in my own life. The beauty of setting goals is that you are never too old or too young to start the process and benefit from the outcome.

Whilst I do use coaching within my own family with caution, I have a couple of stories from my own family which are constant reminders to me of the power of goal setting. My left handed 11 year old, son who had struggled with hand writing speed throughout his schooling, set a goal to "More than double my hand writing speed". With the goal very firmly in mind, he automatically became motivated to take a "d-i-y" hand writing programme. He worked on the programme himself with little in the way of reminders from me. His handwriting speed accelerated, and the goal was achieved.

For 67 years, or as long as she could use a crayon, my son’s grandmother, my mother enjoyed art as a hobby. She had reached a point where she wasn’t getting very much from her art. I took her through a goal setting session around her art and she established what she wanted to do: Become an Become an Artist of Excellence. She herself realised she was not spending enough time on her art, and became highly motivated and highly focused. At the age of 68, she applied and was accepted to do a BA Hons Degree Course, and has since won prizes for her art. In both cases, it was literally the setting of their own goals which led to these outcomes.

Man climbing up hill of goals 1, 2.Goals can be used in the moment to dramatically change the outcome. Today I was playing a one set tennis match. I wasn’t playing well, and found myself down 5-2 and 40 love down. Unexpectedly I became inspired by the idea of winning from such a place. "Winning from 5-2, and 40 love down" became the goal of the moment, which really excited me. I shared my goal with my opponent. My game changed beyond recognition.. I became very focused, and determined whilst at the same time very relaxed. I started to enjoy the match. Instead of loosing many games to love, I was winning games to love. I finally went on to win 7-6.

Jon Covey tells his readers to "start with the end in mind" – and when we set a goal we are doing just that.

What is the purpose of setting goals?

So many people go through their lives like rudder-less ships – without clear direction, and are literally subject to storms and winds in the sea of life. Lack of direction can often lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, poor concentration levels, lack of confidence, and living life from a place of being reactive rather than proactive. Not only that, but people without goals often have little determination, patience or tenacity.

When you set and achieve a goal, you have an opportunity to pat yourself on the back. Even if you don’t achieve exactly what you set out to do, there are likely to be numerous achievements and learning’s along the way that you can acknowledge yourself for. All this helps build self esteem.

For those who are serious about sport, who are running a business or have a senior role within a company, setting goals is an essential ingredient to success. In spite of this not everyone does it. It may take a conversation with a coach, or business advisor to get them thinking along these lines.

Setting goals is not just for sport or work, everyone can benefit from a well-worded goal. Whether you seek a new partner, a better relationship with your existing one, a new job, a new house, more energy, more abundance, improved health, a stress-free life, or something else, the right goal for you, can make all the difference.

How do you set goals? 
Setting goals is a very easy process to do at its simplest level. I spend quite some time designing personalized goals with my clients. I find that it is most effective for people to focus on the top areas of their lives – perhaps their business (if that is appropriate) as well as one or two other areas. Choosing the top areas is an important part of the process. I find clients are most motivated if they are working on the areas of their lives which are going to make the greatest difference to them. It is important to bear in mind too, that what may be important today, but not be so key in a few months time. If you find yourself neglecting an area that you have designated top, one reason may be that it is not now so important. If you find this happening, a great tip is to check in with yourself by asking your self how important it is to have this thing. Answer with a score out of 10 – where 10 is very important and 0 is not important.

There is a balance to be achieved between working on all areas that need attention – and just working on one area. Focusing on multiple areas can be distracting leading to little being achieved. Focusing on one area alone, also has its downsides. Not only can it impact negatively on your work/life balance, but an over-focus can lead to what I call "attachment to the outcome".

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~ Winston Churchill

You may have experienced a situation where you wanted something so much that it became crucial that you had that "thing" in your life. It could be the promotion, the new job, the new house, or the new partner. When you find yourself attached to a particular result, you may find that it often gets in the way of your ideal result coming about. One way of "letting go" of your attachment is to spread your focus by having one or two other key goals.

Once you have your top two or three areas, the next step is to set a goal that is going to really inspire you in each of these areas. Defining an inspiring goal is a challenging exercise to do alone. A coach who is experienced in working with clients to define really inspiring goals can really help with this process. One of my clients, a Managing Director of a Design Agency, wanted to work on his business. He wanted to realize its potential, become more financially successful, move forward, and be busy. This led to a goal which was really inspiring for him "My business buzzes to the tune of £50K profit per month". This was particularly challenging goal because the business had made a loss for over 9 months. Five months into the coaching and the business is on an upward trend – last month profits were just under £50K – and we still have a month to go with the coaching.

A goal that is hugely inspiring for a client has an energy of its own. I equate it to what happens when a surfer rides a powerful wave. Once on the big wave, all a surfer needs to do is focus and balance and he will be carried to the shore – without the need to do much more. (Of course, if he wants to reach the road from the shore, he will need to take some action).

For a goal to come true:

You must write it down, make it specific and give it a dead line; you must look at it every day; you must understand and pay the price; you must have a plan to start with… Gray Lawrence

One of my clients is a singer. Her long term goal is "My first record deal published". Whilst it is hugely inspiring for her, she wanted a goal for the short term. In her case it is to "Perform at least 5 concerts with my own material". At the time she set this goal, she hadn’t performed any concerts with her own material. Between the time she set this goal and our next meeting, two weeks later, she left the country to be with her sister, who had just had a baby. She wasn’t putting any time into getting her concerts. Yet in the meantime, the goal was working for her. "Out of the blue" she received two invitations to perform concerts with her own material.

Sometimes I work with clients who have a gap in a certain area of their lives, but are resistant to setting a goal in that area. Often they are in the place where they don’t want to take action on something, in case they don’t get what they want. This can be in situations where they have tried many things without success. I have encouraged them to set a goal, with the explicit instruction that they take no action.

One of my clients had tendonitis for many years which was impacting on her ability to play and coach tennis. She was resistant to setting a goal around healing her tendonitis – she had tried many things and didn’t want to do more. I encourage her to set a goal and requested that she take no action. Some months into our coaching relationship, she chose to use some new processes, including visualisation. Her tendonitis healed and she went on to launch a tennis initiative for under privileged children: Taking them off the streets and coaching them in tennis.

What makes a powerful goal?

Like making a cake, there are several ingredients. With a cake, I would say flour is most essential, and with goal setting, it is inspiration that, for me, is most essential. I take great trouble with my clients to ensure that together we define a goal that scores top marks for inspiration. A goal to loose weight became "Look fabulous in my black PVC catsuit" for a female client and "Lean, mean, well oiled machine" for a male client.

Given that we are working in a coaching alliance, it is when I am as inspired by a goal as my client is, that the magic really starts to fly.

For the second most important ingredient, I rate succinctness. A really powerful goal can also double up as a mantra. It is easy to repeat as often as possible and it is easy to remember. Finding a new job can become "Love what I do" and recovering from a difficult patch can become "Sparky, witty Jonny is back"!.

I also rate challenging as an important ingredient- alongside inspiration. Getting the level of challenge right is key to the success of the goal. Some clients are truly inspired by challenge – particular if challenge is amongst their core values. Whereas for others, too much challenge can be counterproductive. A goal that is too challenging can defer a client from taking action. If a client is determined to stay in the "this will never happen place" then some adjustments are needed: either to their perspective or to the goal. I come from the place where everything thing is possible – and encourage my clients to move into that place. Technology has shown us that things that weren’t possible in the past are now today, and most people have had experiences where they weren’t initially able to do something, have thought that they never would and have since learnt.

Life Power Tip What small step, toward that large goal, can you take today? Ninety per cent of any task is starting it. Ten minutes on a task begun soon turns into two hours on that same task. “The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -Chinese proverb

A challenging goal doesn’t necessarily make it difficult to achieve. An example from my own life. I am naturally someone with an extremely busy mind. In the past, left to its own devices, my mind would mull over both concerns and projects for hours on end – during the day and often at night too. It was draining. I wanted to be able to turn my mind off – whilst still retaining my innate ability to be creative. This led to a goal which was hugely inspiring for me "Be the Zen Master of my on/off switch". The goal started to take on an energy of its own. Coincidentally, I signed up for a spiritual training – which encouraged meditation daily. Meditation was something I had practiced for a number of years in the past. I had stopped simply because I wasn’t at that time getting results with it.

This time things were different. Almost from the moment I started to meditate again, I found that my mind became quiet. I was the "Zen master of my on/off switch". A hugely challenging goal was achieved with the minimum of effort.

Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for something realistic within a specific time frame. If making a goal realistic means that some of the inspiration is lost – then go for the inspiration is what I say. I recently started with a client at the stage of transition from full time employment to running his own business. The goal that truly inspires him is "Respected in my outstanding £5 million business". From a standing start, this goal could be considered to be unrealistic within the 6 months of our initial contract. So he has a signpost goal around his business plan being written and approved by the bank. This gives him a short term focus, whilst the longer term goal is the one that truly excites, inspires and motivates him.

In most cases, it makes sense to frame goals in the positive. That said, there are times when a goal which appears to be expressed in the negative, is more motivating to a client than the other way round. I have had a number of clients who came to me with health challenges. One had pain from a hernia and had used drugs to control the symptoms for 7 years. Prior to our setting a goal, she found that no drugs meant intolerable pain levels. She could have set a positive goal such as "100% healthy" but instead chose "Pain and Drug Free" for her goal. These were the words that did it for her. Within one session, she had given up her drugs this time without pain – and has maintained her drug and pain free state ever since.

Goals allow you to change the direction in your favourClassical goal setting will encourage you to go for goals that are measurable. I would 100% agree with that. Not only is a measure motivational, but both yourself and your coach will know how close or how far you are from achieving the goal, at any point in time. With business and sports goals, it is fairly easy to incorporate a measure. A desire to grow and sustain a business became "My sustainable £30K per month Business Building Business" for one of my clients.

Which brings me to what happens if you don’t achieve the goal that you originally set. This may be because you changed your mind. What you set out to achieve initially, no longer holds the same interest for you. For the more spiritually minded, it can be useful to include a caveat – to your goal setting, particularly when you find yourself hugely attached to the outcome. This can take the form of a simple sentence which can be added to a goal e.g. "Achieve my goal….or whatever the grand design has in store for me".

Often, it is only a matter of time until the goal you set becomes yours. There is likely to be many learning and achievements on your path from the moment you set your goals. I recommend that you keep a note of your learning’s and achievements- since, in my experience, human beings are particularly good at forgetting, as well as dismissing their achievements. However valuable goals setting is, and whatever the outcome, I find it empowering to remember that "Life is a journey, not a destination". (Who was it that said that?!)

Go and SET YOUR GOALS NOW

.

Follow Your Dream

Follow your dream Where ever it leads Don’t be distracted by

Less worthy deeds Shelter it nourish it, Help it to grow,

Let your heart hold it Down deep where dreams go

Follow your dream, Pursue it with haste; Life is too precious,

Too fleeting to waste Be faithful, be loyal, Then all your life through,

The dreams that you follow Will keep coming true.

Author unknown

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

The unknowable path Seth Godin

"Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless." Jamie Paolinetti

The unknowable path

…might also be the right one.

The fact that your path is unknowable may be precisely why it’s the right path.

The alternative, which is following the well-lit path, offers little in the way of magic.

If you choose to make art, you are no longer following. You are making

Every marketing challenge revolves around these questions

WHO are you trying to reach? (If the answer is ‘everyone’, start over.)

HOW will they become aware of what you have to offer?

WHAT story are you telling/living/spreading?

DOES that story resonate with the worldview these people already have? (What do they believe? What do they want?)

WHERE is the fear that prevents action?

WHEN do you expect people to take action? If the answer is ‘now’, what keeps people from saying, ‘later’? It’s safer that way.

WHY? What will these people tell their friends?

Plenty more

One of the critical decisions of every career:

"Well, there’s plenty more to do, I’ll do the least I can here and then move on to the next one." vs.

"I only get to do this one, once. So I’ll do it as though it’s the last chance I’ll ever have to do this work, to please this customer, to ring this bell."

As little as possible. Or as much. The system might push you to become mediocre, but that very same system rewards excellence. The perception that the minimum is viable is built deep into our notion of productivity, but it turns out that the maximum is valuable indeed.

The biggest cause of excellence is the story we tell ourselves about our work. It’s a choice, a commitment and a lifelong practice.

You will rarely guess/create/cause #1

The breakthrough pop hit is so unpredictable that it’s basically random.

You will always do better with a rational portfolio of second and third place reliable staples than you will in chasing whatever you guess that pop culture will want tomorrow.

Of course, it means giving up hoping for a miracle and instead doing the hard work of being there for the people who count on you.

New times call for new decisions

Those critical choices you made then, they were based on what you knew about the world as it was.

But now, you know more and the world is different. So why spend so much time defending those choices?

We don’t re-decide very often, which means that most of our time is spent doing, not choosing. And if the world isn’t changing (if you’re not changing) that doing makes a lot of sense.

The pain comes from falling in love with your status quo and living in fear of making another choice, a choice that might not work.

You might have been right then, but now isn’t then, it’s now. If the world isn’t different, no need to make a new decision.

The only question, then, "is the world different now?"

 

Your vision is in Your Mind

Gray Lawrence Ambitious & Successful Networker

Life is The Sum of All Our Choices – Albert Camus

The Road not taken–Robert Frost

“When will man who walks all roads decide that he is lost”  Gray

Two roads diverge in a yellow wood And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveller, Long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other as just as fair and having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same .

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet, knowing how way leads onto way I doubt if I should ever come back.

I should be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence Two roads diverge into a wood And I took the one less travelled by And that I made all the difference.

Robert Frost – The Road not taken

Don’t push others around if you have no blisters on your own feet.
Good officers lead by example and make sure the troops are cared for before attending to their own needs. When you treat others respectfully and never ask another to do something you would be unwilling to do yourself, you are entitled to the respect of others — and they will freely give it. But you cannot expect others to continue marching until they have blisters on their feet while you ride in the jeep. Leading others means you must be willing to give far more of yourself than you would ever ask from them. – Napoleon Hill

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

Attitude Reconstruction by Jude Bijou

PMA added

A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform Herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude. – Napoleon Hill

 

News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™

Greetings Friends

This month’s theme is the three Ultimate Attitudes. When internalized these attitudes will allow our lives to match our potential. They are so simple, yet so easy to forget. In this same vein, I came across Pope Francis’ 10 tips for achieving personal happiness. I thought you’d enjoy his perspective about how to make every day a paradise

"Ah, there it is."

The Three Ultimate Attitudes          

Attitude Reconstruction began as a Blueprint; a complete guide to our six emotions and the predictable things we think, feel, say and do as a result. I divided all of the behaviours associated with each emotion into four core attitudes along with their opposites. It wasn’t until years later, however, one over-arching concept emerged: three destructive Ultimate Attitudes associated with sadness, anger, and fear, and conversely, three constructive Ultimate Attitudes, associated with joy, love, and peace.

These constructive Ultimate Attitudes are universal concepts at the root of every major religion and philosophy. I believe that to be "enlightened" means that we are wedded to living by these three principles.

Ultimate Attitude #1 — Honour yourself. Honouring or loving ourselves means that we unequivocally know that we are whole and complete. We are worthy and perfect regardless of what we do or have; we are self-reliant, full within ourselves independent of others opinions and judgments. We appreciate and respect ourselves, and we speak up and take action aligned with what we know is best in our hearts.

Ultimate Attitude #2 — Accept other people and situations. Accepting what is means we keep our focus on our own domain, our heart, and act from our intuition, rather than being reactive or governed by what others do, say,or have. We accept what is presented with equanimity and then respond from a place of love; we appreciate and look for the good in our world; and we give without a selfish motive.

Ultimate Attitude #2 — Accept other people and situations. Accepting what is means we keep our focus on our own domain, our heart, and act from our intuition, rather than being reactive or governed by what others do, say,or have. We accept what is presented with equanimity and then respond from a place of love; we appreciate and look for the good in our world; and we give without a selfish motive.

You just have to accept some people as they are and avoid them.

Ultimate Attitude #3 — Be present and specific. While the value of staying present is very popular in today’s culture, the need to remain specific is not, but "should" be. We use specifics in architecture, all fields of science, music, engineering, medicine, and cooking, but were not taught to stay specific in our thinking and communicating. We can handle any problem if we stay focused on just that without bringing in the kitchen sink. We can be understood and find workable solutions if we stay concrete.

And how do we learn to live by these three Ultimate Attitudes? With vigilance and practice. That means interrupting the tendency to resort to the opposite three Ultimate Attitudes (1 get down on ourselves; 2 don’t accept what is; and 3 overgeneralize and hang out in the future or past) and make another choice. If we stay rooted in what we intuitively know is best, our words, thoughts, and actions will embody that which brings joy, love, and peace.

The way to do this is simple: handle our emotions physically and constructively, keep entertaining constructive thoughts, check within for guidance, communicate following Attitude Reconstructions 4 rules of good communication ("I"s, specifics, kindness, and listening), and act in alignment with our hearts. Each time we do we feel good. When we make a misstep, make the correction and proceed.

This cute video embodies the spirit of the 3 Ultimate Attitudes in 45 seconds

The Pope’s 10 Tips for Achieving Personal Happiness

Pope Francis has released his top 10 tips for achieving happiness. What a cool dude. He’s channelling Attitude Reconstruction.

Here’s the list:

1. "Live and let live."

2. "Be giving of yourself to others. If you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid."

3. "Proceed calmly [in life]."

4. "A healthy sense of leisure. Consumerism has brought us anxiety, causing us to lose a healthy culture of leisure."

5. "Sunday is for family."

6. "We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities, they will get into drugs."

7. "Environmental degradation is one of the biggest challenges we have. I think a question that we’re not asking ourselves is: ‘Isn’t humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature’?"

8. "Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy."

9. "We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyses: ‘I am talking with you in order to persuade you.’ No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The Church grows by attraction, not proselytizing."

10. "We are living in a time of many wars, [and] the call for peace must be

shouted. Peace isn’t quiet, it’s always proactive."

The Pope would give a huge thumbs up to poignant Girl’s Inc video, "With you in her corner,"because here’s a local organization teaching girls how to honour themselves

It’s Never to Late to Change Your Attitude

An Attitude Reconstruction faithful relayed the following exchange she had with her not very accepting husband recently. While they were driving in the car running errands he became increasingly focused on and critical of a bike rider in the adjacent bike lane. He wondered aloud why the cyclist was doing this, that, and the other thing and not riding correctly.
Miraculously, he stopped himself mid-sentence and turned to his very patient wife and asked, "What is it I’m supposed to be saying to myself at moments like this?" She gently reminded him "People and things are the way they are, not the way I want them to be." He replied "Oh, yeah. I’ll try to remember that." And she smiled and offered a silent prayer.

"Oh, can’t complain. But I do."

Hey Jude,

I’m continually comparing myself and my accomplishments to others. How can I change this habit?

Comparisons are a no-win situation. You fuel your own unhappiness and sadness every time you think someone else has something you don’t. The antidote? Shift your focus from out there to in here — yourself. Select a couple of truths that will support you in your quest to learn how to honour you. Here are some possibilities: "What I’m seeking is within me." or "My job is to do the best I can." or "I’m doing the best I can.

Write them on a 3×5 card and when you notice you’ve slipped into a comparison, repeat, and repeat, and repeat until you truly get it.

What chance gathers she easily scatters? A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together. Wolfgang Von Goethe

The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own. Disraeli

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

Opportunities are never lost. They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

 

Life is good

“You cannot take a future or a past breath. The breath is definitively always in the present.” – Rabia Hayek

 

The abundance project

Each day we have an inner dialogue that plays in our minds. The things we say to ourselves tend to repeat and eventually all those little thoughts make up the way we think about ourselves and our lives. Negative thoughts can even, unknowingly, pigeonhole and restrain us from achieving our goals. We become so accustomed to our own self-talk that we hardly notice the things we say to ourselves. If only we paid a little more attention to what’s going on in our heads, we might have more control over what goes on in our lives.

Observe

Spend one day being conscious of the thoughts that pop into your head. You might be shocked at how harsh and mean you are to yourself! Did you just hear yourself say that you can’t do something because you’re too overweight, lazy, or no one likes you!? We are so incredibly hard on ourselves. The worst part is, tearing ourselves down will never help us achieve the things we hope and dream for. Not to mention, negative self-talk makes any situation a lot worse than it actually is; which causes excess stress and conflict. Listen and be aware of all the negative and cruel things you say in your head; you may even want to write them down.

“It’s me who is my enemy, me who beats me up, me who makes the monsters, me who strips my confidence.” – Paula Cole

Stop in your tracks

Once you’ve spent some time observing your self-talk and you’ve taken notes of all the negative things you tell yourself, the next step is to start thinking differently. Each time you hear yourself say something negative in any way, stop dead in your tracks and think of 5-10 positive reasons why what you just said is not true. Motivate yourself! List all the things you are exceptional at and all the reasons why you absolutely can succeed. The key is to evict all the negative thoughts that have made cosy homes in your mind and replace them with positive and encourage thoughts.

Experiment

If you’re doubting whether your thoughts really have that big of an impact on your life, try an experiment. Start leveraging your thoughts to improve various situations in your life and see how changing your perspective changes the way things pan out. Speaking of experimenting, try out different types of self-talk and see what works best to motivate you each day. Once you figure out the best way to talk to yourself, strive to stay in that state of mind.

Practice

Inevitably, the first couple days, weeks and months will be the hardest. You are, essentially, re-wiring your brain to consider situations and yourself differently. Practice recognizing negative thoughts, dismissing them and continuing to replace them with thoughts that inspire, uplift and make you realize how wonderful and beautiful you are! Our thoughts are truly one of the most powerful tools at our disposal. We can ignore them and allow them to become stale and negative or we can take control and use them to propel ourselves forward in success and happiness.

“Do not follow what you desire – instead follow your intuition of what your joy is.” – Sheila Hageman

“When humanity truly understands how spiritually powerful we are as individuals, we will join as one spirit: a soul life collective.” – Tara Correll

The Power is from within, the choice is yours
Gray Lawrence
Successful Networker

"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

Revolving Map
Contact Information
Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Ph: +44 1522 691508
Mob:+44 7726591314
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