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Forgiveness by Seth Godin

PMA Added…  Wise Words  “Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” -Mary Manin Morrissey,

Has anyone ever said or done anything unforgiveable to you?  Something so awful you know you can never forgive them?

Probably this strikes a bell with most of my readers.  It would certainly be rare to find someone who has never been mistreated, never misunderstood, never abused in one way or another.  In some cases the abuse may have been particularly nasty.  Something you would much rather forget, but find you cannot.

Does this person deserve your forgiveness?  Probably not.  Should you forgive them?  Absolutely!

Why do I say this?  If they don’t deserve your forgiveness, why should you forgive them?  Am I trying to turn you into a saint or something?

No.  I am not saying this to make you a "goody goody".  And I am certainly not suggesting you should allow anyone to take advantage of you.  So why I am saying it?

The reason is that I believe you deserve to be free.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be able to do whatever you wish in life and not be weighed down carrying a load dumped on you by someone else.

If there is anyone you have not forgiven for what they have done or said to you this means you are allowing that person to control your life.  You are giving them the ultimate victory over you.  Is that what you want?  If not, you simply have to find a way to forgive them.

Some of you may now be saying "it’s all very well for you to say that, but you don’t know how I have suffered!  You cannot understand just how bad this was!"

I agree I cannot know what it is like to suffer in the way you may have suffered.  To use a common Christian saying, we each have our own cross to bear.  The one you are bearing may be far heavier than mine.  But even though I cannot understand just how bad it was for you, what I do understand is that you are now carrying an unnecessary burden.  Just like "Christian" in John Bunyan’s "Pilgrim’s Progress".  Christian was carrying a burden so heavy he could hardly move.  So are you if there is someone you have not forgiven.  Your happiness is marred because every so often you think of this unforgiveable thing that was done to you and it spoils what would otherwise be a lovely moment in a lovely day.  Why not simply throw that burden away?  It is not stuck to you with superglue.  You have chosen to carry it.  Now you should choose to throw it away.

There may be others who will say "but there is nobody I haven’t forgiven!  Nobody has done anything particularly bad to me!"  If so, you are very fortunate!  But I would suggest there are probably some slights, some grievances, some humiliations that your conscious mind has forgotten but are still bubbling away somewhere under the surface.  You do not feel desperately unhappy, but because there are some unforgiving words and actions loitering in your unconscious mind what could be a really happy moment is, instead, just mildly pleasant.  These unforgiving things are stopping you reaching your full potential.  They are controlling you.

Would you like to free yourself of this burden?  Great!

The first thing you must do is find all the actions and words you have not yet forgiven.  Some may be easy to find.  Others will be hiding under the surface.  Sit quietly and let them come to you.

Now, for each unforgiving act or word find the person.  Picture that person in your mind.  Say to them "I forgive you".  At first you will probably feel silly. But don’t worry about that.  Nobody is watching you.  Nobody is laughing at you.  This is something you are doing for yourself so you can be happier.

As you do this you will find a part of your mind will tell you that this person does not deserve your forgiveness.  You can immediately dispel that thought by saying "they may not deserve it, but I am forgiving them for me, not for them!"  This other part of your mind may say it was totally wrong of them to do this to you.  Respond by saying "I am not the one who will judge them for it, and I am not asking them or anyone else to do this again to me, I am just letting go so this act no longer controls me.  I forgive!"

If you are a Christian you should remember the phrase in the Lord’s Prayer "Forgive me my wrongdoings as I forgive those who have done wrong to me"?  Whether or not you are a Christian this is a phrase I would like you to remember and use.  When you forgive others you will find that forgiveness of yourself comes quite naturally too.  But give it a helping hand anyway.  Add your own wrongdoings now.  See them clearly and then forgive yourself.  As long as you have forgiven others you should find you are now able to forgive yourself.  When you do you really should find you feel light and buoyant.  You have let go of your burden.

Try to perform this act of forgiveness every day.  I suggest you do it last thing at night before you go to sleep, as you should find your sleep will then be that much more refreshing.  Try it, let go, don’t allow anyone to control you any more and see just how much difference this makes in your life!

Gray Lawrence

Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes" Peter Drucker

Be Inspired by Linda Joy

PMA Added..

Be aware of the big difference between inspired action and activity. Activity comes from the brain-mind and is rooted in disbelief and lack of faith – you are taking action to "make" your desire happen. Inspired action is allowing the law to work through you and to move you. Activity feels hard. Inspired action feels wonderful. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

 

Simple Ways to Embrace Life

Linda Joyif I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Love fully. Laugh daily. Be silly. Embrace your dreams! Feel gratitude for the simplest of pleasures. Discover the beauty of silence. Spend quiet time alone each day. Live from your heart not your head. Keep a gratitude journal. Be an inspiration to others. Shine your light for others to follow.

Be more – do less. Release fear. Allow yourself to receive the blessings of life. Living a joyful life is a choice – choose wisely. Release the shackles of self-judgment.

Step outside your comfort zone. Take baby steps each day toward the life of your dreams. Believe in the truth that anything is truly possible – because it IS! Discover the wisdom within! Be prepared for life’s curveballs and remember to duck.

Remember that you are not your past or your mistakes. Release the mistakes of the past and carry forward only the lessons they contain. You have the power to rewrite your story at any time. Journal daily.

Surround yourself with those who honor the best in you. You are a unique gift to the world and you are meant to shine. Follow your passion and you will never dread going to ‘work’ each day. To make a new friend – be a friend.

In every relationship, both personal and professional ask yourself “How can I serve?” Reach out and support the dreams of others. Join a Mastermind or two and connect with those who encourage your dreams. Imagine the possibilities then create them.

Live your life – not the life others imagined for you. Be a spiritual warrior! Embrace your Higher Power. Connect daily to your source. Live a juicy, joyful, passionate life. Your passions are your guide to your divine purpose – follow them. Write your ‘bucket list’ and cross things off each week.

View every interaction as a path to growth. Find your ‘tribe’. Look at every life experience as a tool to reconnecting with your authentic self. Visualize the life you desire. Create a sacred space in your home. Give back. Pick a cause and support it wholeheartedly.

Discover your unique passion and mission and bring it forward to make a difference in the world. Surround yourself with those who lift you up. Release those people or things that prevent you from shining your light. Believe in the power of forgiveness. Open your heart to see the divine beauty in everyone.

Read publications that inspire you to live from the inside out. Tune in to the wisdom and insights of those who have walked the path before you. Ignite your passion! Honor your body and feed your soul. Nourish your relationships. Maintain balance. Be your own best friend. Embrace change.

And most importantly – love yourself! You are perfect just as you are!

Dreams are difficult to build and easy to destroy. – Seth Godin Gray Lawrence                                                                           Focus on the WHY of life and not the HOW, remembering that where focus goes, energy flows – Gail Lynne Goodwin

 

How to avoid the thing!

“One of if not the best Blogger I follow”
Seth Godin  "I’ll know it when I see it"

This is a waste for the buyer and the seller.

When you have a business or individual waiting for you to bring them custom work, it can lead to an endless cycle of, "hmmmm not quite right." If the architectural drawings, high-heeled shoes or ad campaign doesn’t meet their unstated standards, you’re back to doing it again.

Sometimes you can make a handsome profit on all the fees you charge to redo things that indulge the ego of the customer, but more likely than not, your time is wasted until they’re happy. If you have a client who feels the same way, you can work together to save time and money by being clear with each other about what’s wanted.

I think helping a client say what they want before they see it is a worthy endeavor.

  1. Do it on purpose. When engaging with a new client, intentionally create an environment where personal taste is described in advance, and as much boundary-building as possible is done when it’s cheap to iterate, not at the end when it’s expensive.
  2. Demand benchmarks. The world is filled with things that are a lot like what you’ve been asked to create. So mutually identify them. Show me three other websites that feel like what you’re hoping to feel like. Hand me a hardcover book that has type that reads the way you want yours to read. Walk me through a building that has the vibe you’re looking for…
  3. Describe the assignment before you start. Using your words and the words of the client, precisely state what problem you’re trying to solve. "We’re trying to build something that does a, b and c, and not d…"
  4. Then, before you show off your proposal, before you hand in your work, restate the problem again. "You asked us to do a, b and c at a cost of under X. What I’m about to show you does a, it does b and it does c… and it costs half of X." This sort of intentional restatement of the scope of work respects your client by honoring their stated intent, at the same time it focuses your work on the stated goals.
  5. Make a decision about whether you want a reputation for doing this sort of focused work. If you do, don’t work for clients who don’t buy into the process. Over time, you’ll earn the kind of clients you want.

Of course, this isn’t going to work every time. Sometimes the client loves the power of saying no. Sometimes the client isn’t articulate enough to describe what she wants. And sometimes the goal is magic, and no one knows how to describe that in advance.

Four questions worth answering

Who is your next customer? (Conceptually, not specifically. Describe his outlook, his tribe, his hopes and dreams and needs and wants…)

What is the story he told himself (about the world, about his situation, about his perceptions) before he met you?

How do you encounter him in a way that he trusts the story you tell him about what you have to offer?

What change are you trying to make in him, his life, or his story?

Start with this before you spend time on tactics, technology or scalability.

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill  

Gray Lawrence                                                            

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Ambitious Networker Goal Setting

“Set a goal to achieve something that is so big, so exhilarating that it excites you and scares you at the same time. It must be a goal that is so appealing, so much in line with your spiritual core, that you can’t get it out of your mind. If you do not get chills when you set a goal, your not setting big enough goals.” Bob Proctor

 

Ideal, average and outlier

Generalizations are the heart of marketing decision-making. When we look at an audience–customers, prospects, constituents–we make decisions on the whole based on our assumptions about the individuals within the group.

But are we basing those generalizations on our vision of the ideal member of the tribe, the average member or the outlier who got our attention?

It’s easy, for example, to defend high-priced famous colleges if you focus on the ideal situation. The ideal student, getting instruction from the ideal professor and making ideal progress. No one can argue with this.

On the other hand, when we see the outlier (the person who is manipulating the system, or the one who is being harmed by it) it’s easy to generalize in precisely the other direction, deciding that the entire system isn’t worth saving.

And finally, it’s tempting to rely on the average, to boil down populations of people into simple numbers. The problem with this, of course, is that if one foot is in a bucket of ice water and the other is being scalded, on average, you should be comfortable.

Before we start making decisions about markets, tribes and policy, we need to get clear about which signals we’re using and what we’re trying to focus on or improve.

“Making a decision usually means taking one of two roads. One is doing the right thing. To take the other road, you have to sit back and spin a story around the decision or action you are taking. If you find yourself thinking up an elaborate justification for what you are doing, you are not doing the right thing.” Wayne Sales

 

Dreams are difficult to build and easy to destroy. – Seth Godin

Gray Lawrence

Utility Warehouse distributor

 

Focus on the WHY of life and not the HOW, remembering that where focus goes, energy flows – Gail Lynne Goodwin

THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE

Life says, “Make good or make room, but don’t make excuses.”
In today’s management parlance, “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.” When you are actively working toward a goal, there are no failures; there are only degrees of success. Choose to be a leader. Take the initiative. When you are faced with a problem or a difficult decision, don’t waste endless hours agonizing over the solution. If you analyse the situation objectively, you will always find an answer. Don’t focus on the problem; focus on the solution. Then get into action. As W. Clement Stone has often said, “The emotions are not always subject to reason, but they are always subject to action!” – Napoleon Hill

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy

imageA philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have

Room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

 

imageThe Power of Simplicity – that is what the story demonstrates. If I may add my two cents worth… the story underlines the need to give priority to the IMPORTANT over the URGENT. Once the Important is in place, we can attend to the Urgent. If we fail to do that, we become perpetual slaves to the great tyrant called Urgent.

 

Your life is a learning process – you can only become wiser from learning. Sometimes you might have to attract making a painful mistake to learn something important, but after the mistake you have far greater wisdom. Wisdom cannot be bought with money – it can only be acquired through living life. With wisdom comes: strength, courage, knowing, and an ever-increasing peace. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

 

Dreams are difficult to build and easy to destroy. – Seth Godin

Gray Lawrence

Focus on the WHY of life and not the HOW, remembering that where focus goes, energy flows – Gail Lynne Goodwin

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Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Ph: +44 1522 691508
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