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What is the real value of setting goals by Mike Sherratt

this is from a man I appreciate.  PMA added only;

“The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth. The decision is yours” Gray Lawrence

What is the real value of setting goals

I believe 100% in the power of setting goals to bring about the results you want to achieve in your life. My beliefs have been reinforced by seeing goals materialise in my clients’ lives, my family’s life as well as in my own life. The beauty of setting goals is that you are never too old or too young to start the process and benefit from the outcome.

Whilst I do use coaching within my own family with caution, I have a couple of stories from my own family which are constant reminders to me of the power of goal setting. My left handed, 11 year old, son who had struggled with hand writing speed through out his schooling, set a goal to “More than double my hand writing speed”. With the goal very firmly in mind, he automatically became motivated to take a “d-i-y” hand writing programme. He worked on the programme himself with little in the way of reminders from me. His handwriting speed accelerated, and the goal was achieved.

For 67 years, or as long as she could use a crayon, my son’s grandmother, my mother enjoyed art as a hobby. She had reached a point where she wasn’t getting very much from her art. I took her through a goal setting session around her art and she established what she wanted to do: Become an Become an Artist of Excellence. She herself realised she was not spending enough time on her art, and became highly motivated and highly focused. At the age of 68, she applied and was accepted to do a BA Hons Degreee Course, and has since won prizes for her art. In both cases, it was literally the setting of their own goals which led to these outcomes.

Goals can be used in the moment to dramatically change the outcome. Today I was playing a one set tennis match. I wasn’t playing well, and found myself down 5-2 and 40 love down. Unexpectedly I became inspired by the idea of winning from such a place. “Winning from 5-2, and 40 love down” became the goal of the moment, which really excited me. I shared my goal with my opponent. My game changed beyond recognition.. I became very focused, and determined whilst at the same time very relaxed. I started to enjoy the match. Instead of loosing many games to love, I was winning games to love. I finally went on to win 7-6.

Jon Covey tells his readers to “start with the end in mind” – and when we set a goal we are doing just that.

What is the purpose of setting goals?

So many people go through their lives like rudder-less ships – without clear direction, and are literally subject to storms and winds in the sea of life. Lack of direction can often lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, poor concentration levels, lack of confidence, and living life from a place of being reactive rather than proactive. Not only that, but people without goals often have little determination, patience or tenacity.

When you set and achieve a goal, you have an opportunity to pat yourself on the back. Even if you don’t achieve exactly what you set out to do, there are likely to be numerous achievements and learning’s along the way that you can acknowledge yourself for. All this helps build self esteem.

For those who are serious about sport, who are running a business or have a senior role within a company, setting goals is an essential ingredient to success. In spite of this not everyone does it. It may take a conversation with a coach, or business advisor to get them thinking along these lines.

Setting goals is not just for sport or work, everyone can benefit from a well-worded goal. Whether you seek a new partner, a better relationship with your existing one, a new job, a new house, more energy, more abundance, improved health, a stress-free life, or something else, the right goal for you, can make all the difference.

How do you set goals?
Setting goals is a very easy process to do at its simplest level. I spend quite some time designing personalized goals with my clients. I find that it is most effective for people to focus on the top areas of their lives – perhaps their business (if that is appropriate) as well as one or two other areas. Choosing the top areas is an important part of the process. I find clients are most motivated if they are working on the areas of their lives which are going to make the greatest difference to them. It is important to bear in mind too, that what may be important today, but not be so key in a few months time. If you find yourself neglecting an area that you have designated top, one reason may be that it is not now so important. If you find this happening, a great tip is to check in with yourself by asking your self how important it is to have this thing. Answer with a score out of 10 – where 10 is very important and 0 is not important.

There is a balance to be achieved between working on all areas that need attention – and just working on one area. Focusing on multiple areas can be distracting leading to little being achieved. Focusing on one area alone, also has its downsides. Not only can it impact negatively on your work/life balance, but an over-focus can lead to what I call “attachment to the outcome”.

You may have experienced a situation where you wanted something so much that it became crucial that you had that “thing” in your life. It could be the promotion, the new job, the new house, or the new partner. When you find yourself attached to a particular result, you may find that it often gets in the way of your ideal result coming about. One way of “letting go” of your attachment is to spread your focus by having one or two other key goals.

Once you have your top two or three areas, the next step is to set a goal that is going to really inspire you in each of these areas. Defining an inspiring goal is a challenging exercise to do alone. A coach who is experienced in working with clients to define really inspiring goals can really help with this process. One of my clients, a Managing Director of a Design Agency, wanted to work on his business. He wanted to realize its potential, become more financially successful, move forward, and be busy. This led to a goal which was really inspiring for him “My business buzzes to the tune of £50K profit per month”. This was particularly challenging goal because the business had made a loss for over 9 months. Five months into the coaching and the business is on an upward trend – last month profits were just under £50K – and we still have a month to go with the coaching.

A goal that is hugely inspiring for a client has an energy of its own. I equate it to what happens when a surfer rides a powerful wave. Once on the big wave, all a surfer needs to do is focus and balance and he will be carried to the shore – without the need to do much more. (Of course, if he wants to reach the road from the shore, he will need to take some action).

One of my clients is a singer. Her long term goal is “My first record deal published”. Whilst it is hugely inspiring for her, she wanted a goal for the short term. In her case it is to “Perform at least 5 concerts with my own material”. At the time she set this goal, she hadn’t performed any concerts with her own material. Between the time she set this goal and our next meeting, two weeks later, she left the country to be with her sister, who had just had a baby. She wasn’t putting any time into getting her concerts. Yet in the meantime, the goal was working for her. “Out of the blue” she received two invitations to perform concerts with her own material.

Sometimes I work with clients who have a gap in a certain area of their lives, but are resistant to setting a goal in that area. Often they are in the place where they don’t want to take action on something, in case they don’t get what they want. This can be in situations where they have tried many things without success. I have encouraged them to set a goal, with the explicit instruction that they take no action.

One of my clients had tendonitis for many years which was impacting on her ability to play and coach tennis. She was resistant to setting a goal around healing her tendonitis – she had tried many things and didn’t want to do more. I encourage her to set a goal and requested that she take no action. Some months into our coaching relationship, she chose to use some new processes, including visualisation. Her tendonitis healed and she went on to launch a tennis initiative for under privileged children: Taking them off the streets and coaching them in tennis.

What makes a powerful goal?

Like making a cake, there are several ingredients. With a cake, I would say flour is most essential, and with goal setting, it is inspiration that, for me, is most essential. I take great trouble with my clients to ensure that together we define a goal that scores top marks for inspiration. A goal to loose weight became “Look fabulous in my black PVC cat suit” for a female client and “Lean, mean, well oiled machine” for a male client.

Given that we are working in a coaching alliance, it is when I am as inspired by a goal as my client is, that the magic really starts to fly.

For the second most important ingredient, I rate succinctness. A really powerful goal can also double up as a mantra. It is easy to repeat as often as possible and it is easy to remember. Finding a new job can become “Love what I do” and recovering from a difficult patch can become “Sparky, witty Jonny is back”!.

I also rate challenging as an important ingredient- alongside inspiration. Getting the level of challenge right is key to the success of the goal. Some clients are truly inspired by challenge – particular if challenge is amongst their core values. Whereas for others, too much challenge can be counterproductive. A goal that is too challenging can defer a client from taking action. If a client is determined to stay in the “this will never happen place” then some adjustments are needed: either to their perspective or to the goal. I come from the place where everything thing is possible – and encourage my clients to move into that place. Technology has shown us that things that weren’t possible in the past are now today, and most people have had experiences where they weren’t initially able to do something, have thought that they never would and have since learnt.

A challenging goal doesn’t necessarily make it difficult to achieve. An example from my own life. I am naturally someone with an extremely busy mind. In the past, left to its own devices, my mind would mull over both concerns and projects for hours on end – during the day and often at night too. It was draining. I wanted to be able to turn my mind off – whilst still retaining my innate ability to be creative. This led to a goal which was hugely inspiring for me “Be the Zen Master of my on/off switch”. The goal started to take on an energy of its own. Coincidentally, I signed up for a spiritual training – which encouraged meditation daily. Meditation was something I had practiced for a number of years in the past. I had stopped simply because I wasn’t at that time getting results with it.

This time things were different. Almost from the moment I started to meditate again, I found that my mind became quiet. I was the “Zen master of my on/off switch”. A hugely challenging goal was achieved with the minimum of effort.

Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for something realistic within a specific time frame. If making a goal realistic means that some of the inspiration is lost – then go for the inspiration is what I say. I recently started with a client at the stage of transition from full time employment to running his own business. The goal that truly inspires him is “Respected in my outstanding £5 million business”. From a standing start, this goal could be considered to be unrealistic within the 6 months of our initial contract. So he has has a signpost goal around his business plan being written and approved by the bank. This gives him a short term focus, whilst the longer term goal is the one that truly excites, inspires and motivates him.

In most cases, it makes sense to frame goals in the positive. That said, there are times when a goal which appears to be expressed in the negative, is more motivating to a client than the other way round. I have had a number of clients who came to me with health challenges. One had pain from a hernia and had used drugs to control the symptoms for 7 years. Prior to our setting a goal, she found that no drugs meant intolerable pain levels. She could have set a positive goal such as “100% healthy” but instead chose “Pain and Drug Free” for her goal. These were the words that did it for her. Within one session, she had given up her drugs this time without pain – and has maintained her drug and pain free state ever since.

Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for goals that are measurable. I would 100% agree with that. Not only is a measure motivational, but both yourself and your coach will know how close or how far you are from achieving the goal, at any point in time. With business and sports goals, it is fairly easy to incorporate a measure. A desire to grow and sustain a business became “My sustainable £30K per month Business Building Business” for one of my clients.

Which brings me to what happens if you don’t achieve the goal that you originally set. This may be because you changed your mind. What you set out to achieve initially, no longer holds the same interest for you. For the more spiritually minded, it can be useful to include a caveat – to your goal setting, particularly when you find yourself hugely attached to the outcome. This can take the form of a simple sentence which can be added to a goal e.g. “Achieve my goal….or whatever the grand design has in store for me”.

Often, it is only a matter of time until the goal you set becomes yours. There is likely to be many learning and achievements on your path from the moment you set your goals. I recommend that you keep a note of your learning’s and achievements- since, in my experience, human beings are particularly good at forgetting, as well as dismissing their achievements. However valuable goals setting is, and whatever the outcome, I find it empowering to remember that “Life is a journey, not a destination”. (Who was it that said that?!)

Go and SET YOUR GOALS NOW

I’ll see you soon. Make sure to look out for my email, and if you have any questions, feel free to give me a call.

To Your Prosperity,

Mike Sherratt

0044-1925-639-773

Attraction Marketing Mentor

myteam@themikesherratt.com

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Mike Sherratt, 166 Padgate Lane, Warrington, Cheshire WA1 3SP, UNITED KINGDOM

Gray Lawrence

Don’t allow others to diminish your light due to their own fears. Instead shine so brightly that you will illuminate a pathway for them to come out of the darkness..Gray Lawrence

Be Inspired by Luke Sniewski Its time to embrace the GREATNESS that is you

PMA Added..

"Let a person radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. " Napoleon Hill

"Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions." Dalai Lama

 

Topics: Connections, Health, Priorities, Simplicity, Wealth

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

“It is time to embrace the GREATNESS that is you!”  – Jeremy McDonald

SIMPLICITY

Enjoy and embrace simplicity.

Luke SniewskiNo, that doesn’t mean poverty. Nor is that the polar opposite of wealth. Living simply is experiencing and appreciating the small things in life that are taken for granted by those constantly looking outside of themselves for happiness.

Real happiness will never be found in a pill, television, car, or iPod. This materialistic view will result in a never-ending pursuit of “things” that never quite fill the hole trying to be filled. In fact, it only grows with the more “things” you acquire. Instead, the key to happiness is found by satisfying the needs that should be natural and commonplace for all of mankind.

HEALTH

The things that make us human are the very same things that are lacking in the lives of those lost in their world of materialism. The first of these qualities is optimal health. Most of us are born with all the potential in to world to be healthy and happy. Yet in our quest for financial freedom, we get lost in the rat race. We neglect and sacrifice our own health for a few bucks. In the end, we are the ones that suffer with increased medical costs and, worse yet, a decreased quality of life.

There is an old saying that “he who dies with the most toys wins”. That statement could not be farther from the truth. Your health is all you have. Every time you avoid fast foods and choose wholesome natural foods, you are investing in yourself and your future. When you choose to exercise instead of playing video games, you circulate life-providing blood, oxygen, and nutrients throughout your body.

Nothing pays higher dividends than the healthy lifestyles that provide the nourishment you need to function at optimal levels. In order to enjoy the toys you do acquire during this lifetime, make sure you live long enough to truly enjoy them.

RELATIONSHIPS

The need to connect is so obvious when you see the popularity of social networking websites. There is a valuable lesson to be learned here. Help and support your community and they will support you. Living in fear inside four walls and a ceiling, you will miss out on so much growth and support available to you. A stranger is only a friend you’ve yet to meet. When you find your family, friends, and people, live for them.

Using Your Relationships to Realize Real Life By Guy Finley

 

You have the power to change your belief about your health or your life and prove anything is possible! Learn how in this interview with Dr. Eva Selhub

 

 

The Power is from within, the choice is yours
Gray Lawrence

"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

Natural Selling Lesson five The Power of Listening

"My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."  Jane Austen

“The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth . The decision is yours”   Gray Lawrence

The Power of Listening

Listening – The Most Important Skill You Can Learn

Principle 3. Listening to What is Being Meant, Not Just What is Being Said.

Ask yourself. Do you really listen to people? Do you really listen to and actually attempt to understand what they are saying and meaning without letting your own interpretations get in the way?

This is how most people listen. 45% of the time is spent doing what?

Working out what they’re going to say next!

Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the conversation so that they can say it!!! Leaving only 10% of the time for actual listening!

So are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it?  No we’re not!

So what percentage of time must we listen?  100%!

To actually listen to, hear and understand what another person is saying, we must spend 100% of the time listening.

Now, you might ask, how do you listen 100% of the time without thinking?

Well, here are a few clues.

The Power of Your mind Head with detailsFirst, you can think 10 times faster than most people can talk.

If you know how the features of your solutions solve problems, you’ll hear what specific features are relevant and how to talk about them later as specific advantages and benefits.

It takes the guessing out of what to present and how to present it.

Imagine having all your features in lots of automatic drawers in your mind… just like your CD drawer in your computer… and having the correct ones automatically pop out based on what you hear a person wants.

Secondly, you don’t have to think about what you’re going to ask next, because;

1. You will know what questions to ask and when to ask them by learning from a powerful framework that is available to you in the Natural Selling Approach

2. What you’re going to ask is also found in the answers you get to your previous questions! It’s all there! It’s just that you have to listen to the answers to get the information

3. Stop re-interpreting what people say to you based on your own biases or life’s experiences, or your own judgments, prejudices and thoughts! All this does is get in your way of understanding. People don’t think what you think they think!

You’re thinking that they do can get in your way!

For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you made and it was totally out of context with what you meant, and you wondered where he or she was coming from? Well, it’s likely that the other person was interpreting what they thought you were talking about. Do you do the same thing to others?

If you don’t listen and are impatiently waiting to say what you want to say you’ll miss vital clues to help your potential partner or customer come to a logical conclusion to change.

Result? You’ll miss the mark and will meet resistance most of the time!

"Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."  Og Mandino

Let’s look at this more closely. What do you normally listen for when people reply to your questions? Do you listen to what you want to hear with the intent to reply based on what you want to say? Or do you listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from and reply to them based on their own deep inner truth?

People Have Two Truths

For example, if you ask a person whether they like their job, or whether they like the skin care products they are presently taking, would you hope they would say no? In the Natural Selling Approach, it doesn’t matter what they answer, because people carry "Two truths". The Natural Selling Approach allows people to reveal both sides of their truths, and reveal which is the stronger.

The power of your positive action is a force greater than you can fathomHere is an illustration. If you ask someone if they like where they live they could reply Yes or No. If they said, "Yes", and you asked later, "If you could live anywhere else, where would that be?" and they gave another location, you will have discovered there is another truth to explore. One of those two "Truths" will ultimately reveal itself as stronger than the other.

If they replied "No" to the first question and were subsequently asked the same question about living somewhere else, again the real truth gets revealed.

Listening is such a powerful skill. If you learn how to listen to people you’ll find that they will immediately be attracted to you and most will want to listen to you. A large part of my book is spent demonstrating how you can do this.

You may find it useful to take a short test of your listening skills that I have devised. Click below. You might be surprised at the results!

Now you’ve covered some of the basics behind the importance of listening, let’s turn your attention to what you’re listening for. We’ll recap the

Principle:

Listening to What is Being Meant, not Just What is Being Said.

The two key words here are, said and meant.

Said is the logical or factual side of the problem solving equation. It comprises about 10% of the problem. Meant is the personal, feelings or subjective side… and it comprises the other 90%.

In The Natural Selling Approach what is important is to focus more on what is being meant. Why? Well, do people make changes based mostly on logic or feelings? Feelings! So that is the level you have most of your dialogues.

To illustrate this, think of someone saying they don’t have enough money.

Is that a fact or a feeling? It’s a fact! They might say it with feeling, but it’s still a fact.

So if you were to ask someone, "What one thing would make a difference in your life?", which is a logical question, and they said, "More money", which is a logical answer… and you then responded with your solution by saying, "I can show you how to do that"… you would be talking at a logical and factual level. And what response do you think you would get from most people?

Negative or positive? Mostly they will reject your idea.

The reason is that talking logically with people won’t help you very much to help them because you’re only addressing 10% of their problem if they have one!

If you want to be of help, find out what is underneath this problem called "lack of money". In other words, find out what is causing it, what it means to them personally and how they feel about it. Find out the meaning of what they say, not just what they are saying. You will find their answers are totally unique to them, and if you respond to their uniqueness as opposed to coming out with a canned presentation or script, you will automatically attract them to you.

"Facts belong to the world. Feelings belong to the individual".

If you ask without manipulation, most people will tell you.

It’s also where the relationship and the sale is. To be more precise, it’s where both of you can discover if there is a need and the depth of desire to do something about it.

So understanding how to listen and what to listen for and how to respond is vital in the Natural Selling Approach.

And when you understand what someone wants and why they want it…. you will be able to customize your solution and present it in such a precise way that it will mean something to the other person based on how they see things. Why will you be able to do this? Because they will have told you everything you need to know to make your winning presentation.

What are todays thoughts? think about what has been covered today before the next lesson.

Feeding Back What You Think You Heard!

Exercises:

Continue yesterdays exercise. Each time you have a conversation with someone today, turn it into a Dialogue. Focus simply on LISTENING to them!

As far as possible, don’t say anything yourself except to ask questions and keep the Dialogue moving along.

When in Dialogue, observe yourself and be aware of how often you have the urge to interrupt or finish the other person’s sentences for them! Ask yourself whether you’re really serving yourself (or the other person) by doing this!

Your success is your decision: these lessons are a guide, the rest is up to you….

 

If you can’t manage your own mental attitude, what makes you think you can manage others?

Why is it that often those who believe they would be the best managers of others – if they were only given the opportunity – haven’t learned to manage themselves properly? Before you can ever have any hope of managing others effectively, you must first learn to set an example for others to follow. It is simply impossible for you to inspire others to high levels of achievement if you cannot inspire yourself to do the same. Don’t make the mistake that many others make by saying, “When they make me a manager, I’ll show them I can manage.” The first move is yours. You must first prove yourself worthy.    Napoleon Hill

 

Gray Lawrence                      Successful Networker                                                                    Opportunities are never lost. . . . They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

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Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

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