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5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

PMA added: 

A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude.       Napoleon Hill

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

“The past has no power over the present moment.”
―Eckhart Tolle

There is great value in every act of forgiveness.  You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, and you can forgive even when you don’t know exactly who to forgive, because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is at fault.  It is about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has already happened, and that there’s no point in allowing it to dominate the rest of your life.  Forgiveness refreshingly cleans the slate and enables you to step forward.  Here are five unique ways to make this step possible:

1.  Stop trying for a while.

If you’re trying hard and haplessly making zero progress, stop trying.  Stop trying and start being.

When you see yourself as trying – to do something else or get somewhere else – you don’t interpret what you have and where you are as being good enough.  This perception of constantly trying makes living seem like an endless struggle.

There is great value within you right here, right now.  Allow it to come out, willingly and without a struggle.  Instead of trying to get to some other point in your life, give your full attention to doing your very best with the life you are living now.  Instead of believing that you are not there yet, be grateful that you are right where you are meant to be at this moment.

Yes, by all means set goals and take steps in the right direction, but don’t disregard the steps as you take them – these steps are your life’s story.  Let go of all the needless trying and let yourself take these steps peacefully and mindfully.  Let go of the judgments, forgive the past, and let this moment be as incredible as it is.  (This is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity and Happiness chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Be the watcher of your thoughts and emotions.

In his best selling book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle tells us to be the watcher of our thoughts.  What he suggests is that instead of trying to change our thoughts – via gratitude or deliberate forgiveness, for example – we need to simply notice our thoughts without getting caught up in them.

You are ultimately the sole creator of your own feelings.  When negative thoughts arise based on past experiences or future worries, as they sometimes will, realize that these are simply issues your mind (not you) is working through.  Pause, be present and pay close attention.  Think about these thoughts and emotions consciously, almost as if you were a bystander looking in.  Separate yourself from your mind’s thinking.

Perhaps after you study your thoughts and emotions you will think to yourself, “Wow, am I really still working through that?”  And guess what?  Over time, your negative feelings and emotions will lessen and genuine awareness, love and acceptance will grow in their place.  You will begin to realize that your mind is just an instrument, and you are in control of your mind, not the other way around.

By not judging your thoughts or blaming them on anyone else, and merely watching them, there will be a big shift within you – your sense of self worth.

It’s not like you won’t get upset anymore or never feel anxious, but knowing that your thoughts and emotions are just fleeting feelings that are independent of YOU will help ease your tension and increase your positive presence, allowing you to forgive and let go.

3.  Love.

Feeling sorry for yourself and sabotaging the present moment with resentful thoughts of the past won’t make anything better.  Hurting someone else will never ease your own inner angst.

If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with someone else, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you.  Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life.

The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.

Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth.  There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them.  Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible.

If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain.  Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness.  Find the light.  Act out of love.  Do something that will enable you to move forward toward a more fulfilling reality.  There is always something good you can do.  There is always love to give.  Fill your heart with it and act in everyone’s best interest, especially your own.

4.  Seek positive revenge by living well.

Are you contemplating revenge?  You know that’s negative thinking getting the best of you.  However, there is a way to seek revenge positively.

How?  Forget about them.  Remember you.  Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others.  Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead.  If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your positive energy will attract more positive results into your current reality.

Be unlike the person or situation that hurt you.  Let go and grow past your pain.  Carry on living well in a way that creates peace in your heart.  The energy you would spend trying to get real revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself.

The bottom line is that the best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing a fresh smile on your face.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

5.  Let go of the need to forgive every mistake.

Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.  Most of the time they just need to be accepted, not forgiven.

There is an obvious shift in your heart and mind that happens when you go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place.

To help you wrap your head around this concept, try to look at your situation from 40,000 feet.  Imagine a more seasoned, wiser and more compassionate version of yourself sitting at the mountaintop of life, looking down and watching as the younger minded, current version of you hacks your way through life.

You see yourself holding on to false beliefs and making epic errors of judgment as you manoeuvre through life’s many obstacles.  You watch the children of the world growing up in challenging times that test their sense of self-confidence, yet they push forward bravely.  You see the coming generation radiating with passion and love as they fail forward, learning through their mistakes.

And you have to wonder:  Would this wiser version of yourself conclude that everyone in their own unique way was doing their very best.  And if everyone is trying to do their best, what needs to be forgiven?  Not being perfect?

Perfection doesn’t exist.  Forgiveness is oftentimes the simple realization that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.

Your turn…

Who would you like to forgive?  What stressful burdens do you need to let go of and rise above? 

We will forget and forgive any judgment error that you make, but integrity mistakes are forever. — David Cottrell

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Be Inspired by Ruth Nemzoff 5 Principles of Balanced Success

Only PMA Added…

From The Secret Daily Teachings

When you exist in the great state of gratitude, you become a person who only wants to give. You become so grateful that it takes over your life, and you can’t find enough opportunities in a day to give. You give joy, you give love, you give money, you give appreciation, you give compliments, and you give kindness. You give the best of yourself in your job, in your relationships, and to strangers.

You will know when you have really found true gratitude, because you will become a giver. One who is truly grateful cannot be anything else.

May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne
The Secret and The Power… bringing joy to billions

5 Principles of Balanced Success

Family, Opportunity

Ruth NemzoffIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

After having several successful careers, a marriage of fifty-one years, four children, and eight grandchildren, people ask how I’ve done it all. With hindsight, I see that I’ve always had these five guiding principles in the back of my mind.

1. When opportunity knocks, answer. Take every opportunity that comes your way, even if you don’t have a clue how to do the task. You’ll either figure out how to do it, or you’ll fail and pick yourself up and move on. Either way you will have learned something. Remember, you don’t learn to play tennis without hitting the ball into the net a few times.

2. Work, family and community. always have these three arenas in your life. Invariably something will be good in one of these arenas and something will be frustrating in another. In just one day, you may be praised at work and “dissed” at home, or vice versa. This helps you keep perspective that you are human.

3. Prioritize family. In the tough times that come to every life, loved ones matter, not money or things. It is easy to let the family take second place, because they won’t fire you. It often seems impossible to do this when you are working and bringing up young children. But merely putting down your phone or computer and looking directly at your partner or child while they are talking to you can save you time in the long run.

4. Take care of yourself. Figure out what is the most efficient way for you to get some time to yourself. For some, this is simply staring out the window while doing the dishes or vegging out during the work commute. For others, it involves listening to music or exercising for twenty minutes. If you only serve others you become resentful. Sometimes all you can do is take a second each day to note the beauty of the sky. Even this will refresh you.

5. Don’t strive for perfection. We are all a mix of assets and liabilities. Strengthen both, but recognize that what makes us unique is the combination. Don’t waste precious time being angry with yourself. Instead, learn from your mistakes and act better the next time. Moreover, in order to have good relationships with others, you have to have a good relationship with yourself. Enjoy who you are, be forgiving of yourself.

Life is filled with twists and turns. We cannot control everything that happens to us but we have some role in how we react to the circumstances that come our way. Make a plan, set goals, prepare for the future you want, but recognize the plan needs constant modification. Be nimble and be quick to change course as opportunities come your way.  Do not waste time regretting what can no longer be. I learned from my father, who was a school teacher and a principal, that one must make decisions and then make them the best decision. Be proactive to do so.

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff is the author of Don’t Roll Your Eyes: Making In-Laws Into Family (Palgrave/Macmillan, 2012) and Don’t Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships With Your Adult Children(Palgrave/Macmillan, 2008), and a frequent speaker on family dynamics. She is a resident scholar at Brandeis University’s Women’s Studies Research Center. She is the former assistant minority… read more

 

A burning desire to be and to do is the starting point from which the dreamer must take off.
Many years ago, the commencement speaker at a prestigious university asked all members of the graduating class who had a definite plan for their lives to hold up their hands. As he looked around the room, only three hands were raised. Twenty-five years later, when the class held a reunion, the combined net worth of those three individuals exceeded that of the remainder of the class. People who know where they are going, always achieve far greater levels of success than those who merely drift through life, expecting circumstances to create opportunities for them. Successful people create their own opportunities by focusing on goals with an intensity that borders on obsession. In this way, every action moves them toward their goal.     Napoleon Hill

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor (UW)

Opportunities are never lost. . .

They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

Prosperity “IS” a “Blessing”

From The Secret Daily Teachings Remember to remember means remember to be aware. Remember to be aware in this moment right now. Being aware is seeing everything around you, hearing everything around you, feeling everything around you, and being completely focused on what you are doing right now.
Most people bring what they do not want because they are not aware that they are listening to the thoughts in their heads about the past and the future. They are not even aware that they are being hypnotized by those thoughts, and are therefore living their life unconsciously.

When you remember to be aware, you are aware immediately. You just have to remember to remember!    May the joy be with you, 

Rhonda Byrne

A Prosperity Blessing

May you be blessed with an amazingly abundant day today!

May the clouds break and the heavens pour down upon you more joy, more love, more laughter and more money than you could have ever dreamed of.

May the sun shine its golden light of prosperity through every cell of your extraordinary body.

May you be cleansed today of any resistance or feelings of unworthiness that you may still be holding onto.

May your false illusions of doubt, fear and scarcity gently fall away like soft white feathers on a gentle breeze.

May you be willing, simply willing, to allow the Universe to shower you with miracles today.

May the Angels wrap you in their shining wings of opulence.

May the fairies deliver you to their pot of gold at the end of a majestic rainbow.

May your eyes shine with the glorious truth of who you really are and may that truth uplift others in your presence to their own inner knowing.

May your ears hear the sound of perfection ringing in your soul.

May you taste the deliciousness of every precious bite of life as your day unfolds moment by moment with amazing grace, heartfelt love and a bounty of magnificent money.

 

There is one power within you that is stronger than any other power. This power is the Supreme Power! When you use this power it will dissolve all chaos, it will wipe out all negativity, and it will cut through every single situation, unfailingly. Any situation of negativity in your life is simply the absence of this one almighty power. You can rely on it to obliterate every negative thing, because nothing can stand up against it. You can use it on yourself or anyone else, and the more you use it, the more powerful it becomes. You have an unlimited source of this power, which is the most magnetic substance in the entire Universe…

This Supreme Power within you is Love. Send it outwards, send it inwards, and then stand back and watch what happens to your life…

If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than the people with bodies and heart beats. The book Illusions.

Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness, listen to it carefully. The book Illusions.

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you chose to do with them is up to you. The book Illusions.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

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