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REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Optimism

We can learn from our leaders of the past. Thomas Edison’s great optimism gives us a quintessential example of welcoming disaster. On a December night in 1914, fire broke out in the film room of Thomas Edison’s laboratory. As his assets were going up in smoke, it would seem that this sixty-seven-year-old man’s spirit would certainly be crushed. Instead he saw the fire and shouted to his son, “Where’s Mom? Go get her! Tell her to get her friends! They’ll never see a fire like this again!” Later, he said,

“You can always make capital out of disaster.
We’ve just cleared out a bunch of old rubbish.
We’ll build bigger and better on the ruins.”

Thomas Edison could not control the circumstances. Rather than being heartbroken to see his life’s work go up in flames, he chose to welcome the opportunity to start over. Edison, known for his overwhelming optimism, is an inspiration for us today.

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concert

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

Gray Lawrence

“The point is not to live without any regrets it is to not hate ourselves for having them..” Gray Lawrence

Freedom of Stress!

Our own well-being is always the result of healthy decisions for ourselves coupled with disengagement from the choices of others. — Karen Casey

A great free way to encourage success and loss the stress free:.
The stress response: in the beginning it saved our lives, making us run from predators and enabling us to take down prey. Today, human beings are turning on the same life-saving physical reaction to cope with 30-year mortgages, $4 a gallon gasoline, final exams, difficult bosses and even traffic jams — we can’t seem to turn it off. So, we’re constantly marinating in corrosive hormones triggered by the stress response.

Optimism is a crucial choice we make in establishing expectations for ourselves and others as we begin to move forward through adversity.  — Christopher Novak


Now, scientists are showing just how measurable — and dangerous — prolonged exposure to stress can be. Stanford University neurobiologist, MacArthur “genius” grant recipient, and renowned author Robert Sapolsky reveals new answers to why and how chronic stress is threatening our lives in Killer Stress, a National Geographic Special. The hour-long co-production of National Geographic Television and Stanford University was produced exclusively for public television.
In this revelatory film, discoveries occur in an extraordinary range of places, from baboon troops on the plains of East Africa to the office cubes of government bureaucrats in London to neuroscience labs at the nation’s leading research universities. Ground breaking research reveals surprising facts about the impact of stress on our bodies: how it can shrink our brains, add fat to our bellies and even unravel our chromosomes. Understanding how stress works can help us figure out ways to combat it and mitigate negative impacts on our health.

If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control — myself.  ~Stephen Covey


For over three decades, Robert Sapolsky has been working to advance our understanding of stress — in particular how our social standing (our place in various hierarchies) can make us more or less susceptible to the damaging effects of stress. Throughout the film, he weaves the grim realities of the impact of chronic stress with his wry observations about 21st century life. “The reality is I am unbelievably stressed and Type A and poorly coping,” says Sapolsky. “Why else would I study this stuff 80 hours a week? No doubt everything I advise is going to lose all its credibility if I keel over dead from a heart attack in my early 50s. I’m not good at dealing with stress. But one thing that works to my advantage is I love my work. I love every aspect of it.”
The film is based partly on Sapolsky’s best-selling book “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers”: Stress, Disease and Coping. In addition to his professorship at Stanford, Sapolsky is a research associate with the Institute of Primate Research at the National Museum of Kenya. He is also the author of “Monkeyluv”, A Primate’s Memoir and The Trouble with Testosterone, a Los Angeles Times Book Award finalist.

“ Is your life half-empty or half-full? What if I chose to find and embrace the silver linings, the life lessons in disguise? What if I chose to let go of the baggage I have been carrying around? The choice in perception makes all the difference”—John J. Murphy


Scientists from the University of North Carolina, the University of London, Rockefeller University and the University of California, San Francisco share their compelling insights into how stress impacts the body, giving stress a new relevance and urgency to our increasingly complex lives.
A National Geographic Special
I love meeting new people and hearing their story. What’s yours?
To your future and success:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Winston Churchill

Gray

Success is a decision of your own making, it is STILL up to you how you path your life to you and what it brings. We all have choices, what is yours?  Gray Lawrence

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS are equal to ATTITUDES

"If you are thinking happy and positive thoughts right now, the Law of Attraction will bring more happy and positive thoughts to you in the future." Dr. Steve G. Jones

"The reason why it is so important to be in control of your thoughts is because your thoughts shape who you are and your perspective on life." Frank Mangano

 

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

If you read these Positive Affirmations out loud everyday, you’ll develop a magnificent new Attitude within 16 to 21 days.

I’M SO STRONG THAT NOTHING CAN DISTURB MY PEACE OF MIND.

I’M TALKING HEALTH, HAPPINESS, & PROSPERITY TO EVERY PERSON I MEET.

I’M MAKING ALL OF MY FRIENDS FEEL THAT THERE IS SOMETHING IN THEM.

I’M LOOKING AT THE SUNNY SIDE OF EVERYTHING  & MAKING MY OPTIMISM COME TRUE.

I’M THINKING ONLY OF THE BEST, WORKING ONLY FOR THE BEST, & EXPECTING ONLY THE BEST.

I’M JUST AS ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS, AS I AM ABOUT MY OWN.

I’M FORGETTING THE MISTAKES OF THE PAST & PRESSING ON TO THE GREATER ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE FUTURE.

I’M WEARING A CHEERFUL COUNTENANCE AT ALL TIMES

& GIVING EVERY LIVING CREATURE I MEET A SMILE.

I’M GIVING SO MUCH TIME TO THE IMPROVEMENT OF MYSELF

THAT I HAVE NO TIME TO CRITICIZE OTHERS.

I’M TOO LARGE FOR WORRY, TOO NOBLE FOR ANGER,   TOO STRONG FOR FEAR, & TOO HAPPY TO PERMIT THE PRESENCE OF TROUBLE.

 

A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion.. This is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds and you will know too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons. The book Illusions.

 

Gray Lawrence

Utility Warehouse Distributor

To achieve great things requires no great effort, just a modest effort repeated again and again. Start right now by improving one little corner and you’re on your way to change the world.

Dealing with Discouragement

“Recognize that you have the ability to change your perception, thus your health. The mind-body connection exists in all of us.”                      – Cheryln Cluse-Howard

 

Dealing with discouragement is never easy.

Though we all hope for success at every turn of life, sometimes life decides to deal us a poor hand, and in those moments we are forced to maintain our

composure and find any possible way to remain optimistic about the future.

Develope your own compass and trust it                                                                      If you’re familiar with the subject of positive psychology you’ve likely been introduced to the topic of daily positive affirmations, and you might also be aware that those daily positive affirmations can be used to quiet pain and discomfort, heal the mind and comfort the soul in times of difficulty.

Though we can’t determine when or how difficulties will come our way, we can open our minds to the simple messages of truth and love otherwise known as  positive affirmations.
If you’ve never become acquainted with positive affirmations in the past, here is your chance.
Today we’re counting down the seven daily positive affirmations that can remedy any discouraging situation.

1: I Don’t Need to Pity Myself, Because I’m a Gift to the World

Perhaps the most important thing we can give each other is our attentionIt’s easy to feel self-pity when you’re lacking social support or the presence of others, but in the end you have to tell yourself that you’re too important to feel sorry for yourself.

If you feel alone and sad, remember that you are a gift to all those around you, and without you, this world would not be the same. Tell yourself those words over and over again until you can honestly admit that you truly are a gift.

2: I Know How to Make the Right Choices for Me

Life has its pains and evils its bitter disapppointmentsMaking life decisions (especially important decisions), never seems quite as easy as it should be.

Negative thinking comes naturally if you’re afraid of making an incorrect decision because of past mistakes, or because you’re so concerned about the future that you can’t imagine messing it up with one small alteration to your current path. Either way, you need to learn to trust yourself with your own life. Understand that you are the captain of your life, and as long as you can trust you, everything will ALWAYS work out. No exceptions.

3: I Inhale Calmness and Exhale Anxiety

You may not control all the events that happen to you but you can decide not to be reduced by themThings happen everyday that cause us fear or anxiety, but there is a way to handle those situations.

Each time you feel like you’re incapable of making it through a difficult moment in your life, try telling yourself that each time you breathe in you’re inhaling feelings of calmness, and each time you exhale you’re breathing out the fear and anxiety. It may take some getting used to, but in time you’ll be able to master your own fear.

4: I Choose to Replace Anger With Forgiveness and Compassion

By refusing to allow stress into your life you can keep your imune system strongAnger can cause us unnecessary stress and actually damage the health of our bodies and minds over time. Some individuals are more prone to anger than others, but everyone can make the choice to replace anger with forgiveness and compassion, including you and I.

Next time you feel your body fill with anger, tell yourself that you choose to not be angry at the mistakes of others, your own poor choices, or the natural events of life. Instead choose to forgive others for their mistakes, forgive yourself for your own mistakes, and fill your heart and soul with love and compassion.

5: I Choose Hope and Optimism Over Pessimism

Stay strong through the storms lof lifeWhen negative thoughts enter your mind, it’s easy to become a slave to those thoughts and give up hope of a better day. But even though it’s difficult, it’s still possible with a little extra effort.

The next time you sense a negative thought entering your mind, remind yourself that you’ve committed to choose hope and optimism. Tell yourself that even though today may not be as rewarding as you’d hoped it to be, you’ll garner lessons from it and be better prepared to enjoy the positive blessings of tomorrow.

6: I Choose to See Friends and Loved Ones as a Gift

love because it is the only true adventureYour loved ones are in your life for a reason. Sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on, or we need someone to tell us that we’re on the right track. You shouldn’t base all your self-confidence on what others believe you to be, but if you can admit that your loved ones are a gift, you won’t feel so alone when problems come your way.

7: I’ve Dealt With Hardship, and Because of That I’m a Stronger Person

No one is exempt from life trials, but the people who deal with them best are the ones who garner strength from previous struggles.

Decisions prove to be hardest to make especial;y when it is a choiceIf you admit defeat whenever a difficult situation arises, you’ll be one step closer to letting negative thoughts and feelings invade your life. If on the other hand you choose to recognize your hardships and use that as a foundation for future hope and success, you’ll be better off for it.

Whenever a difficult trial comes, use this list of positive affirmations to remind yourself that you are strong Affirm Your Abundance.

Attitude
Success comes to those who become success-conscious. Failure comes to those who indifferently allow themselves to become failure-conscious.                   – Napoleon Hill

 

Gray Lawrence

The world Owes You Everything and nothing – Gray

 

The Secret I Promise Myself By Rhonda Byrne

It is so important that you are grateful for everything in your life. Many people focus on the one thing they want and then forget to be grateful for all the things they have. Without gratitude you cannot achieve anything through the law of attraction, because if you are not emanating gratitude from your being, then by default you are emanating ungratefulness. Be proactive and use the frequency of your being to receive what you want. May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne

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I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama

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Gray Lawrence

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Skype: graynat71

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