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2 Toxic Attitudes that Push Happiness Away From You

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Be honest above all else – This above all, to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night and day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare Hamlet

 

Mark & Angela Hack

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

12 Toxic Attitudes that Push Happiness Away From You

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.  It is what you think about it.”
― Dale Carnegie

“A 14-year-old patient of mine will be undergoing her 10th surgery in the past two years to combat a rare form of cancer.  Even after all the surgeries, I’ve never seen her frown.  She’s still 100% certain she’ll survive.  And I’m certain her attitude is the primary reason she has survived to this point.  She laughs and plays with her friends and family every day.  And her positive attitude has made her dozens of new friends at the hospital.  A kid like her who can go through everything she’s been through and come out smiling makes me realize how sour my attitude often is for no good reason at all.”

That’s an excerpt from an email I received this morning from one of our readers.  And, coincidentally, just as I finished responding to it, a new email from a course student popped up in my inbox that opened with an extremely similar theme:

“Today I realized that my best friend, who lost her mom last year to cancer, has a happier, more optimistic and thankful attitude about life than I do…”

In our line of work, Angel and I hear from dozens of readers, coaching clients and students enrolled in our Getting Back to Happy course every day.  Through this experience, we often see the same exact toxic attitudes tearing otherwise healthy individuals apart.  And we’ve witnessed, first hand, the devastation this toxicity causes to their personal and professional growth, and to their relationships.

Let’s be honest, though, we’ve all acted in toxic, damaging ways at one time or another.  None of us are immune to occasional toxic mood swings.  But that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to them.  Whether your toxic attitude is a common occurrence or just a sporadic phenomena, it’s critical for your long-term happiness and success that you are able to recognize when you’re thinking and acting poorly, and consciously shift your mind-set.

Here are 12 of the most common toxic attitudes we see plaguing people, and some tips to get you back on track:

1.  “I don’t have enough to be happy.”

Instead of thanking the heavens for two strong legs and a body that’s capable of running and jumping and dancing, lots of people complain about their weight and appearance.

Instead of appreciating that they live in a country that protects their basic human rights and civil liberties, lots of people complain about laws, taxes and politicians.

Instead of being grateful for the roof they have over their heads, lots of people wish they had a larger house and a fancier car.

Don’t be one of these people.  You may not have it all, but you have a lot.

To witness miracles in your daily life, count your blessings and be thankful for what you DO have.  There are others who aren’t so lucky.

2.  “Happiness should be handed to me on a silver platter.”

Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy, which is a fleeting feeling dependent on momentary circumstances.  If the sun is shining, by all means bask in it.  Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes.  This is something we often resist, which results in us alienating ourselves and everyone around us.

In other words, we expect to be happy 24/7, and we expect happiness to be delivered to us on a silver platter.  We anticipate an easy life where instant gratification is the norm.  And this leads to disappointment and toxic mood swings.

The truth is that the lifelong pursuit of happiness is elusive; it’s not based on quick thrills and instantaneous fulfillment.  It’s a ‘pursuit.’  And what you are pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing every day?)  When your ‘why’ is meaningful, you are pursuing happiness.

There will be times when things go so wrong that you barely feel alive.  And there will also be times when you realize that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a lifeless existence for 80 years on someone else’s terms.  The pursuit isn’t all or nothing; it’s all AND nothing, with ups and downs and worthwhile lessons along the way.

3.  “Every step I take needs to make logical sense (to everyone).”

If we listened to our logic 24/7 we’d never have truly passionate, romantic relationships.  We’d never have life-long, long-distance friendships.  We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical.  We’d forever be stuck thinking: “I’m going to fail.”  Or “he’s going to hurt me.”  Or, “I’ve had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore…”  Well that’s nonsense!  You’re going to miss life if you think this way.

If you wait around until everything makes perfect logical sense to you and everyone around you, and you feel 100% safe and ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance!

Sometimes you just have to get up and go for it!

Sometimes you just have to jump off a cliff and build your wings on the way down!

4.  “I’m not good enough.”

When you catch yourself in a cycle of self-hate, you must remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way.  That at some point in the past some person or experience sent you the message that something is wrong with you, and you internalized this lie and accepted it as your truth.  But that lie isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you.  And in the same way that you learned to think negatively of yourself, you can learn to think new, positive and self-loving thoughts.

You can learn to challenge those false beliefs, strip away their power, and reclaim your self-respect.  It won’t be easy, and it won’t transpire overnight.  But it is possible.  And it begins when you decide that there has to be a better way to live, and that you deserve to discover it.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

5.  “Everyone must like me!”

People who constantly strive for validation by others are exhausting to be around.  Those men and women who get caught up in the need to prove their worth over and over and over, and constantly want to win over everyone around them, are unintentionally toxic and draining.  Know this.  Over-attaching to how things have to look to others can wear you out and bring everyone else around you down.

There is a bigger picture to your life, and it’s not about what you achieve in the eyes of the masses.  It’s about the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.

6.  “I’ve seen and heard it all before.”

No matter how much you know, there’s a whole lot you don’t know.  Period.

In almost every situation, a little more willingness to acknowledge that there may be something you do not know could change everything.  Go somewhere new, and countless opportunities suddenly appear.  Do something differently, and all sorts of great new possibilities spring up.

Keep an open mind.  Always.

It’s what we learn, after we “know it all,” that really counts in the end.

7.  “I need to be in control (of everything and everyone).”

Imagine that you’re driving in your car and you get stuck in rush hour traffic.  The traffic situation is out of your control and simply requires your patience.  However, this doesn’t stop you from switching lanes, trying to cut in front of other cars, or even leaving the road you’re on to try alternate routes – all desperate efforts to gain control.  Sadly, these efforts just lead to further stress and unhappiness when they are unsuccessful and control is again obstructed.  And when you finally get home, you take your stress out on the people you love the most.

Embrace the fact that some parts of your life are simply meant to be lived, not controlled.  No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let the things you can’t control, GO!

Spend your thoughts and efforts on controlling what you do have power over, rather than wasting your peace of mind on the uncontrollable.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)

8.  “I’ve been hurt too badly to ever heal and move forward with my life.”

Hoarding pain and loss only makes the pain and loss last longer.  And this just tears the rest of your life and relationships apart.

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss.  Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go.  But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward.  It clears out toxic thoughts from the past.  You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you.

Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.  It’s time to be bold.  It’s time to stop reading the previous chapter of your life and start writing the one you’re currently living.  Learn from your old mistakes and march confidently on.  Sure you’ll make new mistakes along the way, but that’s the whole point – you want to learn from new mistakes, not rot alongside old ones.

Living means taking chances that are worth taking and making mistakes that are worth making.  Right now is simply a new chance to get it right, but you have to let go and take this chance.

9.  “This (and everything) is personal!”

People are toxic to themselves and others when they believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them.

Of course, it’s easy to feel unloved and unwanted when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you expect.  And it’s so hard not to internalize that disconnection as a reflection on your worth.  But the truth is, the way other people behave and function is not about you.

Most people are so caught up in their own problems, responsibilities and struggles that the thought of asking you how you’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.  They aren’t being mean or uncaring – they’re just busy and a bit self-centred at times.  And that’s OK.  Don’t attack them for it.  It’s not evidence of some fundamental flaw on your part.  It doesn’t make you unlovable or unworthy.  It just means that some people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own egocentric bubble.  But the fact that you are – that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others – is an incredible strength.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)

10.  “I’m just too busy right now for family and friends.”

Neglect based on lack of attention often damages relationships far more than malicious abuse.

Although it’s perhaps conceivable that you may lie on your deathbed someday regretting that you didn’t work harder and check every little thing off your to-do list, it’s doubtful that your work will be your biggest concern.  What’s more likely, however, is that you will wish you could have one more romantic night with your spouse, another long, heartfelt talk with your sister, and one last good hard laugh with your best friend.

Life is simply too short to be too busy for the people you love.

11.  “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

It’s NOT OK to stretch the truth.  Ever!  It really isn’t!  Doing so only leads to stress in the long run.

In fact, it’s disheartening to think how many people are shocked by honesty, and how few by deceit.  Don’t be one of them.  Uphold the truth, always.  Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often, and you should be the one shocking them with honest words and deeds every day.

The bottom line here is that an honest, loving heart is the beginning of everything that is right with this world.  It’s what brings us together and keeps us together through thick and thin.

12.  “I’m better than them (and everyone else for that matter).”

And finally, through it all, you have to keep your pride in check…

To admit you made a mistake.  To say you are sorry.  To know that you can’t possibly know it all.  To have big dreams. To admit you owe your success to others too.  To poke fun at yourself from time to time.  To ask for help when you need it.

To make mistakes and fail.  And to try again, willingly.

There are no permanent jobs or absolutes on this planet.  We are all just interning and exploring here.  Learn from everyone, remain humble, and don’t forget to have a good time along the way.

That’s what happy, successful people do.

Your turn…

If you can see any of these toxic attitudes in yourself, remember, you are not alone.  We all have negativity buried deep within us that has the potential to sneak up on us sometimes.  The key, of course, is awareness – recognizing these toxic attitudes when they arise and stopping them in their tracks.

So, what toxic attitudes do you sometimes struggle with?  How have these attitudes affected your personal and professional contentment?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights with us.

 

Your life is a learning process – you can only become wiser from learning. Sometimes you might have to attract making a painful mistake to learn something important, but after the mistake you have far greater wisdom. Wisdom cannot be bought with money – it can only be acquired through living life. With wisdom comes: strength, courage, knowing, and an ever-increasing peace. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Success doesn’t come to you – you go to it. — Marva Collins

Gray Lawrence

 

He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses his courage loses all. – Miguel de Cervantes

6 Things Life is TOO Short to Worry About

6 Things Life is TOO Short to Worry About

 

The Abundance Project

Life is too short to being worrying about things that don’t help us be happy and abundance!  With a little brain tweaking, lets drop these common worries and start focusing on things that REALLY MATTER.

So here are 6 things that we need to stop worrying about to have a better life.

Being Miserable at work.

Don’t work a job that you hate.  There are too many options, and you are too important to be unhappy 40 hours a week!  Why don’t you leave that job for someone who actually wants it.  You’ll be doing yourself a favour.  Or do it for the person that will be happy in that job, if you aren’t high enough on own your priority list.

Putting yourself down.

Each time you step in front of the mirror I want you to remember that “this is an opportunity to see what’s good about me”.  In any mirror you are able to see the good.  Life is too hard to be putting yourself down.  So every time you step in front of the mirror know that this is an opportunity to compliment, uplift, and truly appreciate what you have going for you!

Valuing Others Opinions, over your own.

Lets say you have a project at work that you care a lot about, would you let someone come in and tell you what to do about a project , they know nothing about?! No you wouldn’t.  Don’t compromise all the work you’ve done on yourself by over valuing others opinions and undervaluing your own.  Trust yourself.  You know what is best for you.

Criticizing others

Lets just create a nicer environment for everyone, if you want to stop criticizing yourself, you must stop criticizing others first!

Comparing yourself to others.

No amount of wishing and hoping that you looked or had what others do, will make it happen.   But learning to be happy anywhere, can help us be happy everywhere.  if you can learn to be happy with who you are and what you have, this will translate into the rest of your life.

No more Excuses.

Don’t be too lazy to change your life.  To carry an excuse, first you have to come up with it, then tell yourself more times than you can count so you start believing it, and then after that you have to convince others.  Look at all that work.  Save all that time and energy for the things that really matter!

Gray Lawrence

The world Owes You Everything and nothing but your goal’s are your own decision Believe in your self – Gray Lawrence

Winning in life is more than just money; it is about winning on the inside and knowing that you have played the game of life with all you had, and then some!

How to inspire change BY KARIN DAMES

5 Ways to Inspire Change - People Development Network

Karin Dames

Transformation coach at Pure Growth

Karin DamesWith nearly 20 years experience in the software development industry, Karin moved into a coaching role. She specializes in helping teams get unstuck and creating high-performance teams while actively participating in projects. She is passionate about creating highly productive, happy workplaces and learning organizations where each person thrives.

 

 

5 WAYS TO INSPIRE CHANGE

Have you ever been so frustrated with your work environment that you want to run away, never to come back again?  Have you ever felt desperately hopeless, not knowing how to motivate your people or make your manager listen to you?  Or have you ever felt so powerless to change what seems like the size of the Titanic, overwhelmed and outnumbered, in your attempt to improve your working conditions and results?

The sad truth is, from personal experience in any case, that if you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re far from alone.  Rather, I would risk saying that you are in a very average organization. Chances are that the majority of the people and workplaces you interact with will feel very similar.

It’s like a constant tug of war between employer and employee. The employee feels frustrated that the workplace doesn’t change, and the employer feels frustrated that the employees don’t change.

Everyone waits for someone, or something else to change, resulting in no change at all.

We rather choose the road more travelled, the typical keeping-up-with-the-Jones’ syndrome, out of fear of embarking on something new and unknown. We follow the buzzwords and do things the way it’s always been done, rather than exploring unknown territory.  We are so afraid that we might end up in a dead end and have to turn around, even though on the other hand, we might discover a valuable treasure. Our inborn negativity bias makes us choose known over unknown whenever there is the slightest risk of failure.

Yet, the most beautiful view always emerges after the hardest climb.  And did Columbus not explore unknown territory, the world as we know it would be a very different place.  In order to succeed, you need to embrace and inspire change.  Don’t wait for someone else to change. Rather, be the change you want to see in your workplace.

Here are five ways to inspire change in your workplace:

1. It must be a choice

You can’t tell someone to be inspired, so don’t try to tell someone to change.  No change forced on someone will result in sustained change.

To use the brilliant metaphor by Rick Hanson, forced change is like Teflon – nothing sticks – while voluntary change is like Velcro.

For change to stick, it has to be voluntary.

If you believe you d1on’t have the time to get buy-in, think again.  The reason why people fall back into old habits the moment that there is a crisis is because it gives them permission to break the rules, allowing them to do things the way they feel comfortable with and prefer, not the rules imposed on them by management.

Taking the time to allow people to choose the change might postpone the change for a while, yet it will probably result in a successful and sustainable change in the end.  Forcing change on someone because there is no time, will most certainly result in the transformation failing. Not only have you wasted a lot of time, you don’t have any results to show for it.   So do you really not have the time?

2. Demonstrate quick wins

One of the most valuable things I learned as a consultant was to identify and implement quick wins immediately.  As consultants usually come with a much higher price tag than full-time employees, they are expected to show value for money immediately.

When someone is not aware of the need to change, try to find one small, actionable thing that will immediately show an improvement.  Demonstrating quick wins are like giving a sample of a product.  Either they will see the value and want more, or decide that it is not for them.  Yet, even though they decide not to embark on a journey of change immediately, your quick win has planted a seed which will surely germinate and grow into a plant sooner or later.

Listen to the complaints, and address the biggest pain point without asking for any resources or incentives.

To demonstrate what I mean, I recently had the opportunity to spend time at a design and print company. The owner complained about the constant, and often unnecessary, interruptions, keeping her from doing what she’s good at, namely the creative side of things.  On top of that, her workload seemed extremely high yet she didn’t know what to do about it. The helpers she employed, on the other hand, seemed to do nothing for large parts of the day.

After further investigation, I realized her management style was the main cause of both problems – an easy problem to solve. I immediately implemented a simple Scrum board which stopped the interruptions by having two daily stand-ups to discuss any issues, alleviating her biggest pain point. The following week, on a quiet day, I facilitated a training session to allow the under-utilized employees to do the printing.  It left her much happier, able to focus on the creative side while filling up the other employee’s day and learning a much desired new skill which they.

Neither required any additional resources or investments while giving immediate relief for the most painful problem. It also proved valuable enough to her to commit on embarking on coaching program with me.

3. Adapt your style

Having spent a year in Thailand teaching English, I’ve had to find ways to get my lessons across without speaking Thai.  I quickly realized that tried and tested methods that worked in the western culture had no value in the Thai culture. I had to change my teaching style.

What I, for example, considered to be a world famous people, places or things in order to explain concepts, they have never heard of.  To make it worse, their language doesn’t seem to have any similarities to English.  There are no tenses in Thai, no punctuation, no distinction between sentences and paragraphs, and the sounds are totally different, with concepts such as word stress unknown to them.

Determined to succeed, however, I experimented with ways to leverage on learning methods they are familiar with, like remembering and repeating facts and finding fields of interest that would spark their interest by giving them projects where they could choose the object of the discussion.

When the student doesn’t understand, it’s the teacher’s fault.

Suddenly I found that my students not only keen to come to class, but their progress was extraordinary.  I taught the same skills, but I changed my style.

Similarly, with organizational change, you can’t expect the employees to buy into the change program by speaking your language.  You need to adapt your style to speak in a language that the recipient understands.

4. Push through the discomfort

When people stubbornly refuse to see the need for change, it often hurts the people and organization around them.  Either because of fear or ego, they hold onto dysfunctional situations, causing more harm each day they refuse to change. To make a stubborn leader aware of a need to change, direct confrontation might be required, pushing through the discomfort that follows with compassion.

Sometimes you have to open the wound in order to remove the splinter.

To get the other person to see your point, you have to honestly say what you think and feel, even though it might hurt the other person.  When they get angry or want to walk away, keep going.  Push through.  Don’t stop!

Denial is usually followed by anger.  Anger always covers a deep hurt, with people feeling humiliated, embarrassed, vulnerable, exposed.  Treat them with the necessary kindness and compassion, and finally, attempt to find a resolution.

5. Walk away

Sometimes people will not allow you to push through the discomfort, and the best thing you can do in this case is to walk away.

Either both they and you will be relieved from the discomfort that a change agent demands or they will realize the need for change and finally see your value.

You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it.

Most people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.  By walking away you give the company the opportunity to see your true worth.  If they really value you, they will ask for you to come back and in so commit to change. If they don’t, you will be much happier in a more nurturing work environment where you feel more valued.

Don’t hold onto a dysfunctional environment. They might not be ready for the change you propose, or they might not think it is needed.  Either, or, change has to be voluntary.

Conclusion

Being an inspiring leader who inspires change in the workplace is not a special gift you are born with, it is a skill like any that you can learn.

Change starts with an awareness that there is a need to change.  It requires courage to explore the unknown and be vulnerable.  Inspiring sustainable change requires voluntary buy-in into the change program and a strong leader who will be able to push through the fears.

Gray Lawrence

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

How To Create A Qualified Prospect In Just 2 Minutes or Less

 

 

It is amazing really, some people are capable of creating a prospect in 2 minutes (or less), but still others struggle to create that perfect prospect with a frustrating MLM presentation that takes 3 hours. In my opinion, tomlydTom Big Al Schreiter is the king of the one minute presentation.  Today no one has time to listen to a 3 hour presentation, heck most will not give you 20 minutes.  Hopefully this article will explain “How To Create A Qualified Prospect In Just 2 Minutes or Less.”

First you need to be skilled in the necessary skills to “Make It” in this business.  Coming from “Wall Street”, being a traditional business owner, a doctor or a sanitary engineer  will NOT make you a success in MLM. Education and learning MLM skills however will make all the difference.

Does this sound familiar? You have chosen your opportunity,  now what?  Ah…a presentation to your prospect about your product or your MLM business opportunity. You gave the presentation and failed miserably.  Don’t beat yourself just yet.  Most fail in this area…simply because we do not know what to say…We can not just wing it though. Again the importance of education and learning MLM skills.

Would it be ok if you could learn to give a whole opportunity presentation/product presentation in less than 2 minutes?  How about in one minute? Just imagine giving a presentation while you are on an elevator or on break at work with a co-worker. Would this sound good to you?

Opportunities to give a presentation do present themselves and we have to know what to say and when to say it.  Just imagine someone leaning forward wanting to know more…

Well here are 3 simple steps you can use to create your amazing 1 or 2 minute presentation that will have prospects begging you for much more information.

REJECTION FREE TIPS FROM TOM BIG AL SCHREITER

  • Present YOU as the solution to your prospects problem…become the solution

Tom tells us that your very first sentence is the most important part of your whole presentation. So make it good. Tom also tells us that you have to get past your prospects “salesman” alarms…the prospect will decide in less than 10 seconds if they will continue to listen to you.

  • Prospects want to know 3 basic things:

  1. What kind of business are you in?

  2. How much money can I make?

  3. What do I have to do to earn that money?

  • Prospects do  not really care what your business is…

If you build a good relationship with them they would sell bubble gum or garbage can covers even moon rocks if they see what you have as a solution to their problem. Your prospect wants to know “what is in it for them” and “how you are going to be able to assist them”.

Be listening for opportunities to present themselves…remember the timing may not be right for your prospect so get a date and time that would be good for them to listen to a short presentation.

Here is a prime example of a good opportunity to give a presentation….

When people tell me that they are tired or feel trapped in their job and need some extra cash, we ask…

“Would you like to do something about it?”

Most people say they would love to know how they could have more energy or have an extra income.

I would be happy to tell you…when could you set aside a whole one minute for me to tell you what I do.

Most people respond “right now”, so I say:

I am in the health and wellness business which means I show people how to feel 18 again but with better judgement by drinking a healthy energy drink, by eating great tasting diet cookies and by drinking diet shakes to help people lose weight so they can have lots of energy to take care of their family and start enjoying life again. I show people how they can earn extra money and have more time freedom and live healthier lives, doing something they already do but are not getting paid to do.”

Would it be ok if you could do the same thing…  all you have to do is find 4 people who feel the same way you do and want to feel younger, have more energy and want to earn an extra pay check a month.

That is what I do, what do you think?

There you have it, you have created by listening for a good opportunity a qualified prospect in less than 2 minutes.  Less than 1 minute really….you have shown that you just may be a solution to their problem with your opening sentence in your presentation. Give the presentation…the rest IS up to them.

Commit To Success Today
Dave and Darlene Mills
Leadership With A Vision

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. by Joel A. Barker

 

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Gray Lawrence

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

Be Inspired by Andrea Waltz

PA Added only:

“Always give more than you hope to receive, whether in business or in your personal life.” – Dave Taylor

 

 

Be Inspired to Succeed by Failing

“The Earth’s most precious natural resource is truly a rare find. As it changes by the second it is that of our time.”

– Shonika Proctor

Andrea WaltzIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

I believe everything we need to succeed is inside us as children, but it gets slowly pushed out of us as we grow older. By the time we’re teenagers we’ve forgotten these lessons or been forced to bury them. And if you are like me, deep inside you don’t feel any different than you did at age ten or twelve, well, except that you likely don’t play baseball anymore and you probably haven’t done a somersault in years. (I am not suggesting you start.)

What I am saying is that you get back a few of those great qualities you had as a kid that kept your mind open to possibility and made life fun, interesting, and full of hope. Here’s how:

Learn to enjoy failure. Everything you did as a kid requires trying and failing. Climbing a tree, riding a bike or tying your shoes all forced you to fumble and fail. But you did not care. Mistakes were just part of the process. You had no embarrassment or shame – only a desire to go faster to learn and master all of the exciting things that were ahead of you. Ridding yourself from fear of failure means you let go of what other people think about you. The obsession with perfection, fearing mistakes and failure ruins opportunities and destroys your potential. Oh and another thing, failures teach you valuable lessons just like they did when you were young. Ever burn your hand on a hot stove? Check, I did.

Start asking. We asked questions all the time because we were curious. As adults we have let go of that great skill. Instead, we assume what people are thinking, what they will do and how they will answer our question. We assume they won’t buy, they won’t help, or that they are not interested. Now that may be true, but how do you know for sure? Rejection is all around. But avoiding rejection from others means you reject yourself first! Give other people the opportunity to say no and don’t make assumptions.

Don’t take no for an answer. Okay, I am not suggesting you become a spoiled brat. But we need to remember the tenacity we had as kids. One ‘no’ from someone was the opening of the conversation. It was the starting place to getting to where we wanted to go. We got creative and bargained, learning how to persuade and convince – even if it was just for money to buy a candy bar. It was a great skill! So don’t take that ‘no’ so easily and remember that it is often the beginning of a relationship and often ends in a yes if we are patient and positively persistent.

The hope and possibility you had as a kid can be found but you need to tap back into these traits to do it. They are the things that will remind you of the person that you were and then get to you to become the person you were always meant to be and live the life that you dreamed about.

Andrea Waltz is passionate about helping people overcome the fear of the word NO and feelings of failure and rejection that go along with it. Along with her husband and business partner Richard Fenton, she has made her mission to liberate people from fears of failure and rejection, sharing an entire new mindset about hearing the word NO.

For more information, please visit goforno.com.

Failure seems to be nature’s plan for preparing us for great responsibilities.
If everything we attempted in life was achieved with a minimum of effort and came out exactly as planned, how little we would learn — and how boring life would be! And how arrogant we would become if we succeeded at everything we attempted. Failure allows us to develop the essential quality of humility. It is not easy — when you are the person experiencing failure — to accept it philosophically, serene in the knowledge that this is one of life’s great learning experiences. But it is. Nature’s ways are not always easily understood, but they are repetitive and therefore predictable. You can be absolutely certain that when you feel you are being most unfairly tested, you are being prepared for great achievement. – Napoleon Hill

I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama

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Gray Lawrence

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Ph: +44 1522 691508
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