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5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

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A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude.       Napoleon Hill

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

“The past has no power over the present moment.”
―Eckhart Tolle

There is great value in every act of forgiveness.  You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, and you can forgive even when you don’t know exactly who to forgive, because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is at fault.  It is about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has already happened, and that there’s no point in allowing it to dominate the rest of your life.  Forgiveness refreshingly cleans the slate and enables you to step forward.  Here are five unique ways to make this step possible:

1.  Stop trying for a while.

If you’re trying hard and haplessly making zero progress, stop trying.  Stop trying and start being.

When you see yourself as trying – to do something else or get somewhere else – you don’t interpret what you have and where you are as being good enough.  This perception of constantly trying makes living seem like an endless struggle.

There is great value within you right here, right now.  Allow it to come out, willingly and without a struggle.  Instead of trying to get to some other point in your life, give your full attention to doing your very best with the life you are living now.  Instead of believing that you are not there yet, be grateful that you are right where you are meant to be at this moment.

Yes, by all means set goals and take steps in the right direction, but don’t disregard the steps as you take them – these steps are your life’s story.  Let go of all the needless trying and let yourself take these steps peacefully and mindfully.  Let go of the judgments, forgive the past, and let this moment be as incredible as it is.  (This is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity and Happiness chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Be the watcher of your thoughts and emotions.

In his best selling book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle tells us to be the watcher of our thoughts.  What he suggests is that instead of trying to change our thoughts – via gratitude or deliberate forgiveness, for example – we need to simply notice our thoughts without getting caught up in them.

You are ultimately the sole creator of your own feelings.  When negative thoughts arise based on past experiences or future worries, as they sometimes will, realize that these are simply issues your mind (not you) is working through.  Pause, be present and pay close attention.  Think about these thoughts and emotions consciously, almost as if you were a bystander looking in.  Separate yourself from your mind’s thinking.

Perhaps after you study your thoughts and emotions you will think to yourself, “Wow, am I really still working through that?”  And guess what?  Over time, your negative feelings and emotions will lessen and genuine awareness, love and acceptance will grow in their place.  You will begin to realize that your mind is just an instrument, and you are in control of your mind, not the other way around.

By not judging your thoughts or blaming them on anyone else, and merely watching them, there will be a big shift within you – your sense of self worth.

It’s not like you won’t get upset anymore or never feel anxious, but knowing that your thoughts and emotions are just fleeting feelings that are independent of YOU will help ease your tension and increase your positive presence, allowing you to forgive and let go.

3.  Love.

Feeling sorry for yourself and sabotaging the present moment with resentful thoughts of the past won’t make anything better.  Hurting someone else will never ease your own inner angst.

If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with someone else, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you.  Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life.

The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.

Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth.  There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them.  Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible.

If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain.  Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness.  Find the light.  Act out of love.  Do something that will enable you to move forward toward a more fulfilling reality.  There is always something good you can do.  There is always love to give.  Fill your heart with it and act in everyone’s best interest, especially your own.

4.  Seek positive revenge by living well.

Are you contemplating revenge?  You know that’s negative thinking getting the best of you.  However, there is a way to seek revenge positively.

How?  Forget about them.  Remember you.  Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others.  Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead.  If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your positive energy will attract more positive results into your current reality.

Be unlike the person or situation that hurt you.  Let go and grow past your pain.  Carry on living well in a way that creates peace in your heart.  The energy you would spend trying to get real revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself.

The bottom line is that the best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing a fresh smile on your face.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

5.  Let go of the need to forgive every mistake.

Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.  Most of the time they just need to be accepted, not forgiven.

There is an obvious shift in your heart and mind that happens when you go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place.

To help you wrap your head around this concept, try to look at your situation from 40,000 feet.  Imagine a more seasoned, wiser and more compassionate version of yourself sitting at the mountaintop of life, looking down and watching as the younger minded, current version of you hacks your way through life.

You see yourself holding on to false beliefs and making epic errors of judgment as you manoeuvre through life’s many obstacles.  You watch the children of the world growing up in challenging times that test their sense of self-confidence, yet they push forward bravely.  You see the coming generation radiating with passion and love as they fail forward, learning through their mistakes.

And you have to wonder:  Would this wiser version of yourself conclude that everyone in their own unique way was doing their very best.  And if everyone is trying to do their best, what needs to be forgiven?  Not being perfect?

Perfection doesn’t exist.  Forgiveness is oftentimes the simple realization that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.

Your turn…

Who would you like to forgive?  What stressful burdens do you need to let go of and rise above? 

We will forget and forgive any judgment error that you make, but integrity mistakes are forever. — David Cottrell

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

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"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Develope yourself

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.
Your world will become what you choose to make it. You can reach great heights of success, or you can settle for a miserable life that is devoid of hope. The choice is yours. When you choose a positive course, you set in motion an unstoppable force that will allow you to have a fulfilling career, the love of your family and friends, good physical and mental health, and all of the other true riches of life. To change your world, you must change it from the inside out. You must begin with yourself. When you choose the course that puts your life on a positive track, you will change your life for the better, and you will also positively influence the people with whom you come in contact.            Napoleon Hill

Develop your core self.
‘ ‘Human beings are the only creatures who do not mature automatically. A baby chick has no choice but to turn into a chicken. But the world is full of people stuck in childhood and adolescence, no matter how old they happen to be. For us, to mature is a decision: Adulthood is an achievement, one that requires—and results in—personal power.
This can takes decades, but it starts with a vision of the "core self." This is the part of you that connects to reality, placing you at the centre of experiences that you personally create. To have a core self is to be the author of your own story; it is the exact opposite of being a victim, who must live a life authored by others.

Powerful thinking creates a powerful energy in your life, but it all starts with a powerful heart “Heart Set” which creates a “Powerful Mind Set”

Align yourself with the flow of evolution, or personal growth.
Once you establish your core self as a goal, your path will unfold and you will evolve. This evolution is wobbly at first; everyone has at least some elements of ignorance and immaturity. But’ ‘thanks to free will, you can help guide your own evolution. The simple fact is that we all desire more and better things for ourselves. If those more and better things are good for our growth, then we are guiding our own positive and powerful evolution. In India they make a distinction between dharma and adharma. Dharma includes whatever naturally upholds life: happiness, truth, duty, virtue, wonder, worship, reverence, appreciation, nonviolence, love, self-respect. On the other hand, adharma consists of choices that do not support life naturally: anger, violence, fear, control, dogmatism, scepticism, unvirtuous acts, prejudice, addiction, intolerance, and unconsciousness in general.
For our purposes, dharma is the ultimate power. It easily supports you, a single individual. What is asked of you is that you honestly look at your everyday life and the choices you are making. Ask yourself how to increase the dharmic
choices and decrease the adharmic ones.

You learn in life that the only person you can really correct and change is yourself.   You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.    Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.  Stan Billue

 

Trust in a power that transcends everyday reality.
Nothing described so far will come true without a higher reality. For the moment, let’s leave aside religion and any reference to God. Fortunately, to have even a speck of consciousness is to be connected to the finite consciousness that supports life, evolution, creativity, and intelligence. None of these things are accidental or a privilege handed out to the lucky few.
To use a metaphor, imagine that you are caught in a net. All nets have holes, so find one, and jump through it. I’ve known wives of abusive husbands who found a hole through, say, learning to paint. For them, it was an escape route, and as they made art, their thinking changed from "I am trapped and can do nothing" to "I must be worth more than I imagined, because look at this beautiful thing I created." Escape routes exist along the qualities hidden in consciousness. They include:
Creativity. Go beyond by discovery and exploration. This leads to insight. Your inner vision clears. You start to see glimmers of light through the fog of your situation. Something more beautiful starts to attract you, and you want to go toward it.
Intelligence. Let your mind lead the way. You start having newer, more exciting thoughts than the old habitual ones you’ve been following. Beliefs are challenged. New points of view attract you, so you move toward them. You’ll want to expand your mind in place of living behind defences and boundaries.
Love and compassion. Discover that you can forgive yourself and others. Fantasies of hurt and revenge are replaced with emotional softening. You see that there is untapped love around you, so you move toward it. The fact that you desire to love and be loved starts to motivate you, without excuses about being unworthy.
Quantum leaps. Notice—and learn—when you have an epiphany, a moment of dramatic awakening. These are the great "aha" experiences that peel away an entire layer of reality. We say that the heavens open, but really it’s a new level of consciousness, one that brings more light.
Devotion. Understand that life is full of awe and wonder. From this you see a reason to revere your own existence. You have been placed in a world where you can be devoted to something, and your worship gives you a sense of worth.
These escape routes all lead back to the person you really are, and that person know that what really counts extends far beyond the individual: the glory of creation, the beauty of nature, the heart qualities of love and compassion, the mental power to discover new things, and those unexpected epiphanies that bring the presence of God—these universal aspects are your true source of power. They are you, and you are all of them.

Our highest power is love, and it is one thing each of us has an unlimited amount of. How much love do you give to others in one day? Each day we have an opportunity to set out with this great, unlimited power in our possession, and pour it over every person and circumstance. Love is appreciating, complimenting, feeling gratitude, and speaking good words to others We have so much love to give, and the more that we give, the more we receive. May the joy be with you, The Secret Rhonda Byrne

 

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

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“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

Be Inspired by Andrea Waltz

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“Always give more than you hope to receive, whether in business or in your personal life.” – Dave Taylor

 

 

Be Inspired to Succeed by Failing

“The Earth’s most precious natural resource is truly a rare find. As it changes by the second it is that of our time.”

– Shonika Proctor

Andrea WaltzIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

I believe everything we need to succeed is inside us as children, but it gets slowly pushed out of us as we grow older. By the time we’re teenagers we’ve forgotten these lessons or been forced to bury them. And if you are like me, deep inside you don’t feel any different than you did at age ten or twelve, well, except that you likely don’t play baseball anymore and you probably haven’t done a somersault in years. (I am not suggesting you start.)

What I am saying is that you get back a few of those great qualities you had as a kid that kept your mind open to possibility and made life fun, interesting, and full of hope. Here’s how:

Learn to enjoy failure. Everything you did as a kid requires trying and failing. Climbing a tree, riding a bike or tying your shoes all forced you to fumble and fail. But you did not care. Mistakes were just part of the process. You had no embarrassment or shame – only a desire to go faster to learn and master all of the exciting things that were ahead of you. Ridding yourself from fear of failure means you let go of what other people think about you. The obsession with perfection, fearing mistakes and failure ruins opportunities and destroys your potential. Oh and another thing, failures teach you valuable lessons just like they did when you were young. Ever burn your hand on a hot stove? Check, I did.

Start asking. We asked questions all the time because we were curious. As adults we have let go of that great skill. Instead, we assume what people are thinking, what they will do and how they will answer our question. We assume they won’t buy, they won’t help, or that they are not interested. Now that may be true, but how do you know for sure? Rejection is all around. But avoiding rejection from others means you reject yourself first! Give other people the opportunity to say no and don’t make assumptions.

Don’t take no for an answer. Okay, I am not suggesting you become a spoiled brat. But we need to remember the tenacity we had as kids. One ‘no’ from someone was the opening of the conversation. It was the starting place to getting to where we wanted to go. We got creative and bargained, learning how to persuade and convince – even if it was just for money to buy a candy bar. It was a great skill! So don’t take that ‘no’ so easily and remember that it is often the beginning of a relationship and often ends in a yes if we are patient and positively persistent.

The hope and possibility you had as a kid can be found but you need to tap back into these traits to do it. They are the things that will remind you of the person that you were and then get to you to become the person you were always meant to be and live the life that you dreamed about.

Andrea Waltz is passionate about helping people overcome the fear of the word NO and feelings of failure and rejection that go along with it. Along with her husband and business partner Richard Fenton, she has made her mission to liberate people from fears of failure and rejection, sharing an entire new mindset about hearing the word NO.

For more information, please visit goforno.com.

Failure seems to be nature’s plan for preparing us for great responsibilities.
If everything we attempted in life was achieved with a minimum of effort and came out exactly as planned, how little we would learn — and how boring life would be! And how arrogant we would become if we succeeded at everything we attempted. Failure allows us to develop the essential quality of humility. It is not easy — when you are the person experiencing failure — to accept it philosophically, serene in the knowledge that this is one of life’s great learning experiences. But it is. Nature’s ways are not always easily understood, but they are repetitive and therefore predictable. You can be absolutely certain that when you feel you are being most unfairly tested, you are being prepared for great achievement. – Napoleon Hill

I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats

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Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama

The Trilogy of Wisdom

Successful Networker words of Wisdom

A positive course of Action with a Positive Attitude brings life. ~ Gray Lawrence

Everything comes if a man will only wait. I have brought myself by long meditation to the conviction that a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfilment. Benjamin Disraeli

Trilogy of Wisdom

Three things to LOVE                  Courage ~ Gentleness ~Affectionateness

Three things to ADMIRE          Intellectual Power ~ Dignity ~ Gracefulness

Three things to HATE                 Arrogance ~ Cruelty ~ Ingratitude

Three things to DESPISE           Meanness ~ Affectation ~ Envy

Three things to REVERENCE  Religion ~ Justice ~ Self Denial

Three things to DELIGHT IN   Beauty ~ Frankness ~ Freedom

Three things to WISH FOR          Health ~ Friends ~ A Cheerful Spirit

Three things to PRAY FOR          Faith ~ Peace ~ Purity of Heart

Three things to ESTEEM             Wisdom~ Prudence ~ Firmness

Three things to LIKE                    Cordiality ~ Good Humour ~ Mirthfulness

Three things to AVOID               Idleness ~ Loquacity ~ Flippant Testing

Three things to SUSPECT          Flattery ~ Obsequiousness ~ Sudden affection

Three things to CULTIVATE    Good Books ~ Good Friends ~ Good Humour

Three things to CONTEND FOR    The Faith ~ Country ~ Friends

Three things to GOVERN                  The Tongue ~ Temper ~ Impulse

Three things to be PREPARED FOR  Change ~ Decay ~ Death

There are two kinds of people:   Those who say, "I will believe it when I see it."  And those who say, "To see it, I know I must believe it."  May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Your Vision of the future, lies from within
Gray Lawrence
Independent Distributor 

The Greatest leaders of the world were men and women of quick decision -Napoleon Hill

Be Inspired by Ben Rosenfeld

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I have found that helping people to develop personal goals has proven to be the most effective way to help them cope with problems. Observing the lives of people who have mastered adversity, I have noted that they have established goals and sought with all their effort to achieve them. From the moment they decided to concentrate all their energies on a specific objective, they began to surmount the most difficult odds." Ari Kiev

22 Tips for Becoming the Best You

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Don’t focus on being happy, focus on being busy – so busy with work and people you love that you don’t have time to ask yourself if you’re happy.

Find what you love doing, and then do it. Or if you can’t do that, learn to love what you have to do.

Meditate or learn to be alone with your thoughts for a few minutes a day.

Be yourself, but strive to be the best version of yourself.

Read at least one non-fiction book per month.

Learn as many general skills as you can (specific computer software, building/repairing things, writing clearly, etc.). It will help you with whatever specific path you choose to follow.

Persevere. Believe in yourself. But still make some adjustments based on people’s response (or there lack of).

Once your hobby becomes your job, get a new hobby.

Don’t take the highest paying job. Take the highest learning job.

Your default should be to be nice to people. Or at least polite. It doesn’t take much effort and people remember insults much longer than compliments.

Accept people as they are; don’t anticipate that they will ever change to how you want them to be. And if they do change for the better, it’s a bonus. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.

Stop thinking about doing something, and just start doing it. Eventually you’ll get better.

The only company that might support you for your entire career is the one you create.

Create your own work. Don’t wait around for permission.

Take pride in whatever work you do, and do it to the best of your ability, even if you don’t like doing it. If you do work you dislike well enough, eventually you’ll get to do work you like.

Don’t only focus on work.

Being rejected only hurts if it’s not constant. Be rejected constantly and eventually you only notice the times people say “Yes.”

Trust your instincts, but also hone your instincts.

If someone tells you they’ll do something by a certain date, and they don’t do it and don’t warn you that they won’t be done, they are not reliable. Continue working with them at your own peril.

Be friends and work with people who you think are smarter and more talented than you.

Marriage occurs when both people believe that the other person is out of their league. Usually one of them will be proven correct.

Do. Review and improve. Do again. Repeat until you’re #1.

Ben Rosenfeld

Ben Rosenfeld

Ben Rosenfeld creates smarter comedy for smarter people. Ben’s comedy blends his family’s experience as Russian Jewish immigrants in America with his philosophical beliefs, political observations and unique characters. Ben has appeared on FOX’s Laughs, CBS This Morning, National Geographic’s Brain Games, Rooftop Comedy and been featured as TimeOut New York’s Joke of the Week. He has twice headlined at Caroline’s on Broadway, hosted at the Lincoln Center and performs nightly in New York City. Ben’s first comedy album, Neuro Comedy, is available on iTunes and Pandora. Ben also created the illustrated coffee table book, Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes To Cheer You Right Up, an Amazon Top 5 Best Seller in Humor.

For more information, please visit bigbencomedy.com.

I make progress by having people around me that are smarter than I am and listening to them and I assume that everyone is smarter about something than I am- Henry Kaiser 1882- 1967 Industrialist

Your Vision of the future lies from within
Gray Lawrence
Utility Warehouse distributor

The Greatest leaders of the world were men and women of quick decision -Napoleon Hill

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Gray Lawrence

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