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REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Optimism

We can learn from our leaders of the past. Thomas Edison’s great optimism gives us a quintessential example of welcoming disaster. On a December night in 1914, fire broke out in the film room of Thomas Edison’s laboratory. As his assets were going up in smoke, it would seem that this sixty-seven-year-old man’s spirit would certainly be crushed. Instead he saw the fire and shouted to his son, “Where’s Mom? Go get her! Tell her to get her friends! They’ll never see a fire like this again!” Later, he said,

“You can always make capital out of disaster.
We’ve just cleared out a bunch of old rubbish.
We’ll build bigger and better on the ruins.”

Thomas Edison could not control the circumstances. Rather than being heartbroken to see his life’s work go up in flames, he chose to welcome the opportunity to start over. Edison, known for his overwhelming optimism, is an inspiration for us today.

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concert

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

Gray Lawrence

“The point is not to live without any regrets it is to not hate ourselves for having them..” Gray Lawrence

Allowing Takes Faith and Trust

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Allowing takes faith, patience and trust—three things that are essential for your own peace of mind and well-being, but often are not things we focus on, learn about or are encouraged to practice in our intense, fast-paced, results-oriented culture. Allowing is truly an art and is something that often goes against the grain and runs contrary to societal norms and pressures. It has to do with remembering, as the well-known saying goes, "We’re human beings, not human doings."
Here are a few things to think about and practice as you enhance your capacity and ability to allow with more ease in your life.

  • Ask yourself how you relate to the concept of allowing. Take some inventory of your own relationship with this idea. How do you feel about it? How comfortable are you allowing things and people to be as they are, as well as allowing things to manifest with ease in your life? This is something you may understand, but may not practice. Tell yourself the truth about how you relate to allowing, and notice how this impacts your life one way or another.
  • Pay attention to what you focus on in regard to your biggest goals and aspirations. In terms of the biggest goals, dreams and aspirations in your life right now, how much of your attention and energy are focused on doing, and how much are focused on allowing? While both doing and allowing are important, most people put a disproportionate amount of attention on action. Increasing your focus on allowing and ultimately receiving can be a magical, relaxing and incredibly effective way for you to relate to your goals and dreams. This is often one of the big missing pieces in your desire not only for success, but—more important—for fulfilment.
  • Create an allowing practice. This is a simple practice you can do daily (like prayer, meditation, quiet reflection or affirmation) when you put your attention and awareness on allowing: accepting things as they are; trusting things are working out as they are meant to; believing the feelings, experiences, accomplishments and outcomes you desire are on their way; and allowing yourself to receive these gifts and blessings with ease and gratitude. You may need to reach out to others for support, guidance and feedback about creating or deepening an allowing practice that will work for you, but doing this is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself (as well as those around you).

Have fun with this and have compassion for yourself as well. Allowing is a lot easier to think about or talk about than it actually is to practice and embody in your life. The more attention you put on it, however, the easier it gets. And as you deepen your ability and your capacity to allow, your whole life can transform with ease, grace and gratitude!
Mike Robbins is a best-selling author, sought-after motivational keynote speaker and personal growth expert who works with people and groups of all kinds. Robbins is the author of the best-selling books Focus on the Good Stuff and Be Yourself: Everyone Else Is Already Taken. He and his work have been featured on ABC News and in Forbes, Ladies Home Journal, Self and many other publications

"Just like you are in charge of your thoughts and emotions, you are in charge of your visual field and imagination. Use it to help create positive thoughts and send positive vibrations to the universe." Frank Mangano

Gray Lawrence

Be aware of the big difference between inspired action and activity. Activity comes from the brain-mind and is rooted in disbelief and lack of faith – you are taking action to "make" your desire happen. Inspired action is allowing the law to work through you and to move you. Activity feels hard. Inspired action feels wonderful. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Be Inspired by Jim Palmer

PMA Added..

“Success is not accidental, it is intentional. Do something intentional everyday to create the success you want and deserve.” – Jim Palmer

“It is not important how we come to the events in our lives…what is important is how we deal with those events.” – Troy Evans

Stop Waiting for It to Get Easier

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Jim PalmerI learned 13 years ago how precious life is, and how short it can be, when I was diagnosed with melanoma. Having cancer was a defining moment in my life and I realized that that no matter what goals and dreams I had – the time to make them happen was now.  I still run my life and operate my various businesses with that same sense of urgency.

As a coach to entrepreneurs and small business owners, I hear about ideas for growth a lot. And whether the idea is based on a new product, a new or improved service, or perhaps even a new business – I’m often asked, “What is the best time to move forward?”

My answer is almost always the same: “Stop waiting for it to get easier, get into action now!”

The truth is, whether you want to operate with the same sense of urgency that I feel, as an entrepreneur I also realize that business and the way we market them changes at the speed of light. What I mean is that what’s hot or available today, may not be here tomorrow. To put a finer point on it, the product or service you want to bring to market may be attractive to customers now and could be far less attractive next year. Stop waiting for it to get easier.

The only thing waiting does is delay your success and your ability to create your own personal economic boom.

Thomas Edison learned to trust his vision about how electricity could change the world. Bill Gates learned the exact same thing about his vision of a computer on every desk and in every household. In retrospect, they might have both underestimated the results, but nevertheless, both became wildly successful. Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard may not have had such lofty visions at the start of their enterprise, but they learned how to take the blinders off and follow the money.

Let me now address some lessons learned from a personal perspective. Post-cancer my life looks quite different. I have learned first-hand what the expression “When you have your health, you have everything” means. It is true. No matter what other challenges you face, facing them in good health is far easier.

My ‘season of crises’ – as I refer to it – has taught me three important life lessons.

  1. I place a much higher priority on the important people in my life. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy some of the finer things in life, but they take a far back seat to the relationships I treasure and hold dear.
  2. I strive every day to make a positive difference in the world by giving more of my time and money to those in need.
  3. I laugh more. I’ve always enjoyed a good laugh, but I now love to laugh and make people laugh. Laughter is physically therapeutic and it also makes you forget some of the challenges you’re facing, if only for a second.
Jim Palmer

Jim Palmer is a marketing and business building expert and host of the hit weekly Web TV show, Newsletter Guru TV. Jim is also the host Stick Like Glue Radio, a weekly podcast on smart marketing and business building strategies. Jim is best known internationally as ‘The Newsletter Guru’- the go-to resource for maximizing the profitability of customer relationships.

Jim is the founder of Custom Newsletters, Incorporated, which is parent company of: No Hassle Newsletters; No Hassle Social Media; Success Advantage Publishing; Concierge Print and Mail on Demand; Custom Article Generator; Double My Retention, and NoHassleInfographics.com.

Jim is also the acclaimed author of five books: The Magic of Newsletter Marketing – The Secret to More Profits and Customers for Life; Stick Like Glue – How to Create an Everlasting Bond With Your Customers So They Spend More, Stay Longer, and Refer More; The Fastest Way to Higher Profits – 19 Immediate Profit-Enhancing Strategies You Can Use Today; It’s Okay To Be Scared – But Never Give Up; and Stop Waiting for it to Get Easier – Create Your Dream Business Today.

With 30 years of practical business experience, Jim speaks on client retention, how to run a profitable business, newsletter marketing and entrepreneur success tips.

Gray Lawrence

Life is the sum of all our choices.

Afraid of failure?

 

“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”—Tallulah Bankhead 

 

Afraid of Failure? Read the following steps

Steps to Break Down Failure

Have you ever felt like a failure? I totally have. But I am not alone.

There is an epidemic of feelings of failure in any country and failure is so definitive. When you think you failed, there is not much wiggle room to be anything other than “a failure.” A horrible way to see yourself! This becomes a belief ingrained and tainting everything else we do and try. Here are four ways to break it down.

A. Lower Your Expectations

Failure is in relation to something. Usually some standard or expectation that was not met: I am not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough. Having unreasonable expectations is more detrimental on our health than anything else. It brings in judgment, which compounds every other problem we already have.

When we have a feeling which is appropriate to the situation, and then we judge ourselves, then we worry! the problem becomes so much bigger and harder to recover from. Then, we berate ourselves for not recovering quickly with another layer of judgment. The original feeling is nothing compared to the complex mess and layers of our own judgement and fear.

Do not add them. Allow yourself to feel and do not worry, you can handle it. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself, lower those outrageous expectations! Instead of dwelling, do something. Seek a “Mentor with a Servant’s Heart”

 

B. Know there is a point to trying

Past feelings of failure attempt to take away our point to trying to feel better or accomplish something. We get convinced that we will fail anyway. We assume trying hard will make us more disappointed when we do actually fail, and so we put less effort in in hopes to protect our heart. With less effort, we may actually not achieve our goal and we can say “See? I always fail. Good thing I did not try.”

The point is “Rarely is anything accomplished without trying” And if we try and don’t succeed, our heart actually feels better, not worse. We build confidence knowing that we did our best. We feel empowered because we can respond to things in life. This is giving in to your fears

 

C. Notice your accomplishment

Simple. See the good in you instead of the bad. Focus on something else beside that one standard you missed. Have confidence in the efforts you did put forth. Notice other things you received from the process, a good example are  friends you’ve made along the journey and “ what you have  learned”  and how it made you grow. Remember all other accomplishments in your life. be positive

 

D. Remember it is not over

We sometimes assume we failed too soon. Then we feel devastated and stop trying. If you are still alive, you could not have failed, since it is not over. Yes, your standards and expectation might change, but if you are still kicking, you cannot by definition be a failure. Readjust your expectations and try again ALWAYS -  Never Give up!!!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can……. I can, I can!

 

Foot note for the winner in you.

Your dreams and desires to win are down to you and no one else… If no one is listening find those that will, live the life you desire with those that have trodden the path before.  Then teach those who sit in your wake.

Be the person you wish to be & leave negative in the slow lane.

When you realise you are a winner and find the next gear be ready for what awaits you.  Perhaps you are ready and now & looking for the opportunity to work for yourself  so you can help those less fortunate, with their own mental attitude, be the teacher & TEACH. 

The road is paved with GOLD just open the right door in your mind and take the first step.  Gray

Study those who failed and failed again, then “WON” that came before you read the right books:  “The Secret & The Power” by Rhonda Byrne: Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, to name but a few..

  I was never afraid of failure only the lack of trying  Gray

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”—Walt Disney

 

The world Owes You Everything and nothing but your goal’s are your own decision Believe in your self – Gray Lawrence

Winning in life is more than just money; it is about winning on the inside and knowing that you have played the game of life with all you had, and then some!   Gray Lawrence 

How to avoid the thing!

“One of if not the best Blogger I follow”
Seth Godin  "I’ll know it when I see it"

This is a waste for the buyer and the seller.

When you have a business or individual waiting for you to bring them custom work, it can lead to an endless cycle of, "hmmmm not quite right." If the architectural drawings, high-heeled shoes or ad campaign doesn’t meet their unstated standards, you’re back to doing it again.

Sometimes you can make a handsome profit on all the fees you charge to redo things that indulge the ego of the customer, but more likely than not, your time is wasted until they’re happy. If you have a client who feels the same way, you can work together to save time and money by being clear with each other about what’s wanted.

I think helping a client say what they want before they see it is a worthy endeavor.

  1. Do it on purpose. When engaging with a new client, intentionally create an environment where personal taste is described in advance, and as much boundary-building as possible is done when it’s cheap to iterate, not at the end when it’s expensive.
  2. Demand benchmarks. The world is filled with things that are a lot like what you’ve been asked to create. So mutually identify them. Show me three other websites that feel like what you’re hoping to feel like. Hand me a hardcover book that has type that reads the way you want yours to read. Walk me through a building that has the vibe you’re looking for…
  3. Describe the assignment before you start. Using your words and the words of the client, precisely state what problem you’re trying to solve. "We’re trying to build something that does a, b and c, and not d…"
  4. Then, before you show off your proposal, before you hand in your work, restate the problem again. "You asked us to do a, b and c at a cost of under X. What I’m about to show you does a, it does b and it does c… and it costs half of X." This sort of intentional restatement of the scope of work respects your client by honoring their stated intent, at the same time it focuses your work on the stated goals.
  5. Make a decision about whether you want a reputation for doing this sort of focused work. If you do, don’t work for clients who don’t buy into the process. Over time, you’ll earn the kind of clients you want.

Of course, this isn’t going to work every time. Sometimes the client loves the power of saying no. Sometimes the client isn’t articulate enough to describe what she wants. And sometimes the goal is magic, and no one knows how to describe that in advance.

Four questions worth answering

Who is your next customer? (Conceptually, not specifically. Describe his outlook, his tribe, his hopes and dreams and needs and wants…)

What is the story he told himself (about the world, about his situation, about his perceptions) before he met you?

How do you encounter him in a way that he trusts the story you tell him about what you have to offer?

What change are you trying to make in him, his life, or his story?

Start with this before you spend time on tactics, technology or scalability.

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill  

Gray Lawrence                                                            

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

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Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Mob:+44 7726591314
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