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Be Inspired by Marci Shimoff

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Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." Burton Hills

 

Where To Find Happiness

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Marci ShimoffI was 41 years old, stretched out on a lounge chair by my pool and reflecting on my life. I had achieved all that I thought I needed to be happy. I had a successful career that helped people, a loving husband, a comfortable home, a great body, and a wonderful circle of friends.

But surprisingly I wasn’t on top of the world. I felt an emptiness inside that the outer successes of life couldn’t fill. I was also afraid that if I lost any of those things, I might be miserable. Sadly, I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

While happiness is the one thing that we all truly want, so few people really experience the deep and lasting fulfilment that feeds our soul. Our Founding Fathers even guaranteed us the right to pursue happiness, so why aren’t we finding it?

Because we’re looking for happiness, in the words of the old country western song, in “all the wrong places.”

The culmination of my pursuit of happiness was when I discovered a state I call Happy for No Reason, a neurophysiologic state of inner peace and well-being that isn’t dependent on circumstances. I believe this is our essential state.

When you’re Happy for No Reason, you bring happiness to your everyday experiences rather than extract happiness from them. You don’t need to manipulate the world around you to try to make yourself happy. You live from happiness, rather than for it.

Most of us struggle to string together as many happy experiences as we can, like beads in a necklace, to create a happy life. We do our best to find just the right beads that will fulfil us. Being Happy for No Reason, in this analogy, is like having a happy string. No matter what beads we put on our necklace—good and not so good—our inner reality, the string that runs through them all, is happy, and we experience an unshakeable positive state inside.

So, how do we get there?

The only difference between happy and unhappy people is that they have different habits.One of the most prevalent habits that happy people share is believing that the universe is out to support them—that this is a friendly universe. When things don’t seem to be going their way, instead of feeling like victims, they look for the lesson and the gift in the situation. In other words, they believe there is a higher purpose that is supporting their ultimate good.

Practicing this one habit has made a huge difference in my own life. Try it yourself: The next time you face a challenge, take a moment to reflect silently, asking yourself, “If this were happening for a higher purpose, what would it be?” I’m certain that whatever answer you discover will be illuminating, but more importantly you’ll begin tapping into that state of inner peace and well-being on a regular basis.

Remember, when you’re Happy for No Reason, it’s not that your life always looks perfect—it’s that however it looks, you’ll still be happy!

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

Opportunities are never lost. . . . They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

2 Toxic Attitudes that Push Happiness Away From You

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Be honest above all else – This above all, to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night and day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare Hamlet

 

Mark & Angela Hack

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

12 Toxic Attitudes that Push Happiness Away From You

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.  It is what you think about it.”
― Dale Carnegie

“A 14-year-old patient of mine will be undergoing her 10th surgery in the past two years to combat a rare form of cancer.  Even after all the surgeries, I’ve never seen her frown.  She’s still 100% certain she’ll survive.  And I’m certain her attitude is the primary reason she has survived to this point.  She laughs and plays with her friends and family every day.  And her positive attitude has made her dozens of new friends at the hospital.  A kid like her who can go through everything she’s been through and come out smiling makes me realize how sour my attitude often is for no good reason at all.”

That’s an excerpt from an email I received this morning from one of our readers.  And, coincidentally, just as I finished responding to it, a new email from a course student popped up in my inbox that opened with an extremely similar theme:

“Today I realized that my best friend, who lost her mom last year to cancer, has a happier, more optimistic and thankful attitude about life than I do…”

In our line of work, Angel and I hear from dozens of readers, coaching clients and students enrolled in our Getting Back to Happy course every day.  Through this experience, we often see the same exact toxic attitudes tearing otherwise healthy individuals apart.  And we’ve witnessed, first hand, the devastation this toxicity causes to their personal and professional growth, and to their relationships.

Let’s be honest, though, we’ve all acted in toxic, damaging ways at one time or another.  None of us are immune to occasional toxic mood swings.  But that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to them.  Whether your toxic attitude is a common occurrence or just a sporadic phenomena, it’s critical for your long-term happiness and success that you are able to recognize when you’re thinking and acting poorly, and consciously shift your mind-set.

Here are 12 of the most common toxic attitudes we see plaguing people, and some tips to get you back on track:

1.  “I don’t have enough to be happy.”

Instead of thanking the heavens for two strong legs and a body that’s capable of running and jumping and dancing, lots of people complain about their weight and appearance.

Instead of appreciating that they live in a country that protects their basic human rights and civil liberties, lots of people complain about laws, taxes and politicians.

Instead of being grateful for the roof they have over their heads, lots of people wish they had a larger house and a fancier car.

Don’t be one of these people.  You may not have it all, but you have a lot.

To witness miracles in your daily life, count your blessings and be thankful for what you DO have.  There are others who aren’t so lucky.

2.  “Happiness should be handed to me on a silver platter.”

Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy, which is a fleeting feeling dependent on momentary circumstances.  If the sun is shining, by all means bask in it.  Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes.  This is something we often resist, which results in us alienating ourselves and everyone around us.

In other words, we expect to be happy 24/7, and we expect happiness to be delivered to us on a silver platter.  We anticipate an easy life where instant gratification is the norm.  And this leads to disappointment and toxic mood swings.

The truth is that the lifelong pursuit of happiness is elusive; it’s not based on quick thrills and instantaneous fulfillment.  It’s a ‘pursuit.’  And what you are pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing every day?)  When your ‘why’ is meaningful, you are pursuing happiness.

There will be times when things go so wrong that you barely feel alive.  And there will also be times when you realize that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a lifeless existence for 80 years on someone else’s terms.  The pursuit isn’t all or nothing; it’s all AND nothing, with ups and downs and worthwhile lessons along the way.

3.  “Every step I take needs to make logical sense (to everyone).”

If we listened to our logic 24/7 we’d never have truly passionate, romantic relationships.  We’d never have life-long, long-distance friendships.  We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical.  We’d forever be stuck thinking: “I’m going to fail.”  Or “he’s going to hurt me.”  Or, “I’ve had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore…”  Well that’s nonsense!  You’re going to miss life if you think this way.

If you wait around until everything makes perfect logical sense to you and everyone around you, and you feel 100% safe and ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance!

Sometimes you just have to get up and go for it!

Sometimes you just have to jump off a cliff and build your wings on the way down!

4.  “I’m not good enough.”

When you catch yourself in a cycle of self-hate, you must remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way.  That at some point in the past some person or experience sent you the message that something is wrong with you, and you internalized this lie and accepted it as your truth.  But that lie isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you.  And in the same way that you learned to think negatively of yourself, you can learn to think new, positive and self-loving thoughts.

You can learn to challenge those false beliefs, strip away their power, and reclaim your self-respect.  It won’t be easy, and it won’t transpire overnight.  But it is possible.  And it begins when you decide that there has to be a better way to live, and that you deserve to discover it.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

5.  “Everyone must like me!”

People who constantly strive for validation by others are exhausting to be around.  Those men and women who get caught up in the need to prove their worth over and over and over, and constantly want to win over everyone around them, are unintentionally toxic and draining.  Know this.  Over-attaching to how things have to look to others can wear you out and bring everyone else around you down.

There is a bigger picture to your life, and it’s not about what you achieve in the eyes of the masses.  It’s about the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.

6.  “I’ve seen and heard it all before.”

No matter how much you know, there’s a whole lot you don’t know.  Period.

In almost every situation, a little more willingness to acknowledge that there may be something you do not know could change everything.  Go somewhere new, and countless opportunities suddenly appear.  Do something differently, and all sorts of great new possibilities spring up.

Keep an open mind.  Always.

It’s what we learn, after we “know it all,” that really counts in the end.

7.  “I need to be in control (of everything and everyone).”

Imagine that you’re driving in your car and you get stuck in rush hour traffic.  The traffic situation is out of your control and simply requires your patience.  However, this doesn’t stop you from switching lanes, trying to cut in front of other cars, or even leaving the road you’re on to try alternate routes – all desperate efforts to gain control.  Sadly, these efforts just lead to further stress and unhappiness when they are unsuccessful and control is again obstructed.  And when you finally get home, you take your stress out on the people you love the most.

Embrace the fact that some parts of your life are simply meant to be lived, not controlled.  No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let the things you can’t control, GO!

Spend your thoughts and efforts on controlling what you do have power over, rather than wasting your peace of mind on the uncontrollable.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)

8.  “I’ve been hurt too badly to ever heal and move forward with my life.”

Hoarding pain and loss only makes the pain and loss last longer.  And this just tears the rest of your life and relationships apart.

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss.  Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go.  But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward.  It clears out toxic thoughts from the past.  You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you.

Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.  It’s time to be bold.  It’s time to stop reading the previous chapter of your life and start writing the one you’re currently living.  Learn from your old mistakes and march confidently on.  Sure you’ll make new mistakes along the way, but that’s the whole point – you want to learn from new mistakes, not rot alongside old ones.

Living means taking chances that are worth taking and making mistakes that are worth making.  Right now is simply a new chance to get it right, but you have to let go and take this chance.

9.  “This (and everything) is personal!”

People are toxic to themselves and others when they believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them.

Of course, it’s easy to feel unloved and unwanted when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you expect.  And it’s so hard not to internalize that disconnection as a reflection on your worth.  But the truth is, the way other people behave and function is not about you.

Most people are so caught up in their own problems, responsibilities and struggles that the thought of asking you how you’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.  They aren’t being mean or uncaring – they’re just busy and a bit self-centred at times.  And that’s OK.  Don’t attack them for it.  It’s not evidence of some fundamental flaw on your part.  It doesn’t make you unlovable or unworthy.  It just means that some people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own egocentric bubble.  But the fact that you are – that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others – is an incredible strength.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)

10.  “I’m just too busy right now for family and friends.”

Neglect based on lack of attention often damages relationships far more than malicious abuse.

Although it’s perhaps conceivable that you may lie on your deathbed someday regretting that you didn’t work harder and check every little thing off your to-do list, it’s doubtful that your work will be your biggest concern.  What’s more likely, however, is that you will wish you could have one more romantic night with your spouse, another long, heartfelt talk with your sister, and one last good hard laugh with your best friend.

Life is simply too short to be too busy for the people you love.

11.  “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

It’s NOT OK to stretch the truth.  Ever!  It really isn’t!  Doing so only leads to stress in the long run.

In fact, it’s disheartening to think how many people are shocked by honesty, and how few by deceit.  Don’t be one of them.  Uphold the truth, always.  Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often, and you should be the one shocking them with honest words and deeds every day.

The bottom line here is that an honest, loving heart is the beginning of everything that is right with this world.  It’s what brings us together and keeps us together through thick and thin.

12.  “I’m better than them (and everyone else for that matter).”

And finally, through it all, you have to keep your pride in check…

To admit you made a mistake.  To say you are sorry.  To know that you can’t possibly know it all.  To have big dreams. To admit you owe your success to others too.  To poke fun at yourself from time to time.  To ask for help when you need it.

To make mistakes and fail.  And to try again, willingly.

There are no permanent jobs or absolutes on this planet.  We are all just interning and exploring here.  Learn from everyone, remain humble, and don’t forget to have a good time along the way.

That’s what happy, successful people do.

Your turn…

If you can see any of these toxic attitudes in yourself, remember, you are not alone.  We all have negativity buried deep within us that has the potential to sneak up on us sometimes.  The key, of course, is awareness – recognizing these toxic attitudes when they arise and stopping them in their tracks.

So, what toxic attitudes do you sometimes struggle with?  How have these attitudes affected your personal and professional contentment?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights with us.

 

Your life is a learning process – you can only become wiser from learning. Sometimes you might have to attract making a painful mistake to learn something important, but after the mistake you have far greater wisdom. Wisdom cannot be bought with money – it can only be acquired through living life. With wisdom comes: strength, courage, knowing, and an ever-increasing peace. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Success doesn’t come to you – you go to it. — Marva Collins

Gray Lawrence

Utility Warehouse distributor

He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses his courage loses all. – Miguel de Cervantes

Setting and understanding GOALS

From The Secret Daily Teachings

No person or power in the outside world can compare to the power you have within you. Seek the power within, as it knows the perfect way for you.                                                                                                                           May the joy be with you.  Rhonda Byrne

Whenever you set a goal to attain something, the only thing that can hinder you from reaching it is yourself. Sometimes we are too pessimistic that we tend to limit ourselves. If you really want to achieve something, there are plenty of ways to do it but if you don’t want to achieve something, there are plenty of excuses. Bottom line, success ultimately rely on how bad you really want it.

“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” Charles Kingsley

On everyone’s short list of things to do during their lifetime are the accomplishment of worthy goals and the fulfilment of one’s purpose.
Achieving a goal is like opening a combination lock. You need the correct numbers in the correct right, left, right sequence. There are thousands of possible combinations; and if you are aware of the settings but not the sequence, your efforts will prove futile.

The Ten Rules of Goal Setting is the combination that opens the lock of success. Each rule is one piece of the combination; each seamlessly integrates with the other nine; each one counts!
There is a book “Ten Rules of Goal setting” I apologise as I have lost the name of the writer! you will be hard pressed
to find a goal that does not require each of these ten rules.
Not all goals are equal, but all goals contain the same foundational elements.
When it comes to setting goals, we often don’t know what we don’t know.
And, what you don’t know can ad most likely will hurt
you by limiting or compromising your success.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Edison

Each rule calls for and requires know-how of multiple disciplines. No one is born with all the talents to achieve a goal—you learn as you go on the fly!
Everyone needs to know how to set and achieve a goal. Everyone needs an awareness of proportion and a keen sense of the possible. Everyone needs the will to pursue his or her dreams and to know what it takes to taste victory.
If I could carve ten rules for achieving a goal into the walls of your mind, they would be the ones contained in this book. The ten rules work because they are simple, and they are simple because they work.

Life is too short to waste. Dreams are fulfilled only through action, not through endless planning to take action.” David J. Schwartz

The potential for personal growth and personal expression—as well as for mind-boggling personal wealth—makes this a time of opportunity…a time to create the kind of life that previous generations could not imagine. That is why goal setting is so important.

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” Bill Cosby

Success is individual. Your definition of “the good life” may be very different from others’. Yet the underlying steps toward that end are the same. That similarity helps you to understand what success really is.

The only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is extraordinary determination.” Mary Kay Ash

Success is the ability, first, to recognize opportunity; second, to form plans and strategies that leverage opportunity; and, third, to develop the necessary skills needed to execute those strategies.

“Remember, the thoughts that you think and the statements you make regarding yourself determine your mental attitude. If you have a worthwhile objective, find the one reason why you can achieve it rather than hundreds of reasons why you can’t.” Napoleon Hill

The ten rules, like anything else in life, operate best if they are self-enforced!
Success is beautiful because of how it looks to you, how it works, how it feels, and how it represents the fulfilment of goals pursued. Grow accustomed to prosperity and confident in the process of achieving a goal. Embrace these ten rules of goal setting and give witness to a powerful transition in your life.
My goal is simply to help you achieve yours by teaching you the correct combination and correct sequence. for the book try this persons name, should you wish to purchase it :(Gary Ryan Blair)

Know yourself! Watch how you manifest the small things in life and think about how you felt inside with those things. Think about how easily they came. You will find that you thought of a small thing once and never thought about it again, and then it manifested.     What really happened was you didn’t think any thoughts or speak any words which contradicted what you wanted, so the law of attraction was able to do its work.  May the joy be with you, – Rhonda Byrne The Secret

 

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor 

“Life is the sum of all your choices” Albert Camus

Gray Lawrence                                                                       T:01522691508                                                              M:07726591314                                                                                      Business customer: Sign up Link                                                                 UK Business Opportunity: Sign up Link                                                 Residential Customer: Sign up Link                                         Utility Warehouse Distributor N0: N14384                                                    The yellow brick road “is”paved with Gold all you have to do is open the right door in your mind & take the first step..Gray Lawrence

A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE and A Promise

 

“Think the best of life and people. Don’t waste time thinking feeble. Make your mind behave the way of who you want to be one day. Think success before the fact; Let it shine through the word and act. Visualize who you will be thinking shapes your destiny”  Wes Beavis

A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE

Good things come to those who be;lieve better things come to those who are patientSomething we all have or actually forgotten, it needs to be rekindled for a better world..
A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude. Napoleon Hill


"Give every person more in use value than you take from them in cash value."
Wallace Wattles (1860-1911)
The Science of Getting Rich

Promises.

Accepting small promises

Positive Thinking by itself deos not workMarketing is about making promises and then keeping them. The marketer comes to us and makes a promise. If we accept the promise, a sale is made.  If we seduce ourselves into accepting small promises, we let everyone down. The small promises of a feature added or a price reduced cheapen us and the marketer who would have us flock to him                                                                The big promises of transparency and care, of design and passion, of commitment and stewardship–we ought to be demanding more of this.  We get what we settle for.  Seth Godin

Everything comes if a man will only wait. I have brought myself by long meditation to the conviction that a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfilment. Benjamin Disraeli

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor (UW)

The world Owes You Everything and nothing

Be Inspired by Lucira Jane Nebelung

As always PMA added the story is but to Lucra

I’m an entrepreneur who is passionate about harnessing the power of personal development and using it to add value to all who seek personal development which leads to an incredible lifestyle.
It has always been my nature to share value and connect people whose talents provide a mutual benefit and then watching the magic unfold. Gray

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Lucira Jane NebelungIf you are discouraged by all the discord you see in the world, I would like to share the one change that changes everything: changing how we lead. We hold the key to move beyond hope and through transformational change by looking at life differently and making different choices.

We frequently use the terms leadership and management interchangeably as if they mean the same thing. They don’t. We lead people and manage things, such as work and the everyday tasks of our lives.

Leading is about our humanness, our relationships and our interactions with each other. Leaders are those who choose to make the shift from success – acquiring and accumulating material things – to significance – making a positive difference in everyone’s life.

Leading is about possibility and potential. It is about creativity and innovation. It is about our well-being and fulfilment and generating common good. It focuses on our purpose and meaning, our connection and contribution, and our growth and mastery. It is about collaboration and cooperation to solve our common problems. Leading is about diminishing our three universal fears of not having support, not being in control and not feeling adequate, so that everyone thrives and realizes their potential.

And what diminishes these fears? How do we ensure that everyone thrives? By leading as love. Leading as love means that we respond with care, understanding and respect. It is living the belief that love makes a leader a leader.

Leading as love is who we are. Leading as love is a state of being, a philosophy, an approach to life that permeates all that we do. Leading as love is an art that we are always practicing and evolving and mastering.

So, if you are in a leadership role, I ask you to consider what I am saying in what you stand for and how you show up. If you are a “follower”, I ask you to consider if the leaders you follow are there to support the common good and help each and every one of us to be the best we can be and have the life we want. In this way, if you make this choice, you lead as love and so you are also a leader.

We can change the world by changing our personal beliefs about this one thing: What makes a leader a leader? When we change our beliefs our actions will be different through our choices for who we are as leaders and who we follow or support. Every choice – who you work with, how you vote, what you buy – makes a difference.

Remember this criterion: Love makes a leader a leader. Care, understanding and respect for everyone and everything in life. We all deserve nothing less.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." Bill Cosby

“To be someone you’re not is to waste who you are.” – Loren Slocum

Your Vision of the future, lies from within
Gray Lawrence
Successful Networker

The Greatest leaders of the world were men and women of quick decision -Napoleon Hill

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