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REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

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”Stop and make sure that everything you are doing right now is really what makes you happy. You can’t just live for some goal in the future and have that be everything . . . have that be it. Because that is what some people do. They get on this road and there are all these signs saying, ‘This way. That way.’ But what if you get there, you get exactly what you wanted, like some people do, except all the things that were wrong, are still wrong. Then what?” -Party of Five              

The people development network..

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concer

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

 

 

Gray Lawrence

“Recognize that you have the ability to change your perception, thus your health. The mind-body connection exists in all of us.”                                  – Cheryln Cluse-Howard

 

 

Be Inspired by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz

PMA Added only…

He who loses wealth loses much;

he who loses a friend loses more;

but he that loses his courage loses all.

~Miguel de Cervantes

 

The Key to Having Endless Energy

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Do everything you do with every fibre of your being. This includes important activities, like preparing a presentation for work or expressing love to your spouse or children, but it also includes everyday things like washing the dishes, balancing your check book, or talking to the checkout clerk at a store. Most people are so afraid of depleting themselves they constantly hold themselves back. But if you give to the last drop, you’ll be surprised to discover you have more energy than you ever dreamed of.

In fact, you have a source of infinite energy inside you; it can’t be depleted. Weirdly, the way to get more of this energy – is to give more of it away. When you hold back, you lose touch with it. When you feel like you’re running on empty, that’s why.

This inexhaustible source is every human being’s sacred birth right and its energy reflects two aspects of the divine. The first is Love: it has the ability to connect you to the people around you – and them to each other. The second is Creation: it can bring new things into the world. At the end of your life, this outflow of love and creativity is all that will matter, and it is all that will be left of your existence; it is your true legacy.

So far so good. But it’s easier to say “give all of yourself” than it is to do it. Mostly, we focus on what we want to get from the world – money, validation, status, etc. What we have to give seems irrelevant. But whatever you get back means nothing compared to what you give out. We’ve treated patients who’ve gotten more than most of us can imagine – they live in palaces and wear outfits that could feed entire families for a year – and none of it makes them happy or fulfilled. As hard as it is to believe, they have to live by the same rules as you do; to live well, they have to give everything of themselves.

At some point something bad will happen – you’ll lose a loved one, get rejected, or lose your job – and the sheer pain of it will make you want to stop giving. But remember, what defines you is not how much you suffer, but how quickly you recover and resume giving. The whole purpose of life is to break your heart open, because the unbroken heart cannot love or create. So let life sink its spears into you and watch your heart get bigger than you ever imagined it could.

The following code will help you make all of this a reality:

  • Do not accept the world as you find it; look for what’s wrong or missing and assume that you were born to give whatever it needs.
  • Don’t follow the herd. Set your own course; do not be defined by what others think of you.
  • Resist superficial distractions and remain focused on your goals even if you have to sacrifice immediate gratification.
  • Don’t be stopped by obstacles; the real enemy is your willingness to quit in the face of them.

We hope you will join us in living by this code. If you do, you’ll be able to face death with only thing that can vanquish death: a life of infinite giving. As Rudolf Steiner said, “Selfless deeds are the foundation of immortality.”

Gray Lawrence

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~ Winston Churchill

 

Something for every one around the world sent tome today *A Quiet PRAYER*

I was so impressed with this message sent to me today and decided nothing is needed other than to send it to YOU        God Bless one & all and have a Wonderful Festive Season & a Very Very Happy New Year

*A Quiet PRAYER*   
There is nothing better than older people praying for you.

We’re not getting older, just getting closer to home! The instructions are to pick four people you want God to bless.

I picked you. Please pass this to at least four people you want to pray for and include me.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.There is no cost but a lot of rewards.   *                  

 Let’s always pray for one another.*

The prayer:

Father:
Thank You for each and every day You have blessed us here on earth. Thank You for Your tender mercies.

Thank You for giving us friends and family to share joys and sorrows with.

I ask You to bless my friends, relatives, brothers and sisters and those I care deeply for, who are reading this right now.

Where there is joy, give them continued joy.

Where there is pain or sorrow, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence.

Where there is need, fulfil their needs.

Bless their homes, families, their goings and their comings.

Amen. 

If you choose to send this to more than four people, you are truly blessed to have such friends.                     

Gray Lawrence

Always be grateful someone somewhere does not have what you have.  Inspire others  and always have and show the right attitude to every person you know and meet

REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Optimism

We can learn from our leaders of the past. Thomas Edison’s great optimism gives us a quintessential example of welcoming disaster. On a December night in 1914, fire broke out in the film room of Thomas Edison’s laboratory. As his assets were going up in smoke, it would seem that this sixty-seven-year-old man’s spirit would certainly be crushed. Instead he saw the fire and shouted to his son, “Where’s Mom? Go get her! Tell her to get her friends! They’ll never see a fire like this again!” Later, he said,

“You can always make capital out of disaster.
We’ve just cleared out a bunch of old rubbish.
We’ll build bigger and better on the ruins.”

Thomas Edison could not control the circumstances. Rather than being heartbroken to see his life’s work go up in flames, he chose to welcome the opportunity to start over. Edison, known for his overwhelming optimism, is an inspiration for us today.

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concert

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

Gray Lawrence

“The point is not to live without any regrets it is to not hate ourselves for having them..” Gray Lawrence

Be Inspired by by Regina Cates

PMA Added…

Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way." Eileen Caddy 1917-2006, Author

How to Make Sure Your Glass is Always Full

Regina CatesIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Money does not make you rich, character does. There are lots of wealthy people who are absolutely impoverished in character. You cannot buy a reputation for being a person of good character. It is earned by being a respectful, kind and responsible. You are truly wealthy when you accept the greatest legacy you will ever leave is choosing how well you live.

Be genuinely grateful for what you have in life and tearing up the list of what you do not have will be gratifying. Attitude is everything. Have an attitude of lack, and life will be a never-ending search for the next “thing” to fill the holes within your heart. An attitude of gratitude magically plugs those holes.

Treating other people as you want to be treated does not mean waiting for them to go first. Leaders lead by “being the change they want to see.” Frustration, anger and disappointment come from waiting for others to go first.

You cannot change anyone other than yourself. When you change yourself for the better, the world changes for the better because your positive actions influence those who see your behaviour. That is why changed people change people, without trying. They lead change by example.

Every soul is whole no matter how wounded the human being. No matter how low you have gone in life, there is wisdom and strength within you that will get you successfully to the other side. The key is to accept you are not your problems. YOU are bigger than any challenge you face.

Regardless of what happened to you in the past or how you were mistreated by others, what matters most is how you are treating yourself today. Hurting yourself will never get back at those who hurt you in the first place. The truth is that loving yourself is an excellent way to prove their mistreatment wrong.

Being gentle with yourself, other people and all life is one of the strongest things you do. Gentleness is not weakness. It takes great strength to have the self-control necessary to be kind.

You are going to lose a friend and you will find a new friend. You will lose a love and you will find a new love. You will lose a job and you will find a new job. You will lose a bad habit and you will find a good habit. There is gain through loss. Everything changes so don’t get stuck in the hard parts of life. Instead view the challenges as opportunities to grow and you will blossom.

It’s okay to get angry and frustrated at times. It’s not okay to make these a lifestyle. You are responsible for your own happiness. If life is not going well then it is time for you to do something about it.

Your glass will only remain half full until you realize you are the one holding the pitcher. Don’t sit around waiting for someone to rescue you. You must be your own superhero.

Gray Lawrence

"A smile is a gift for all around us, not to be kept by us; but to be given freely everyday to all you know see and pass by, No matter who or what they are feeling or look like. It is your duty your unwritten law! Your ambition for being put on this earth to make another person SMILE EVERY DAY – Gray Lawrence


    Through her Los Angeles–based company, Romancing Your Soul, Regina V. Cates, author, writer, podcaster, and positivity junkie, guides people to lead with their hearts. Regina’s longing to help others live fulfilled lives is the motivating force behind why she is known as one of the most effective self-help authors and transformational teachers of our time. Now with her bestselling book, Lead with Your Heart: Creating a Life of Love, Compassion and Purpose and massive social media following, she is touching the hearts of a world-wide audience.

    For more information, please visit RomancingYourSoul.com.

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    Gray Lawrence

    grayjl63@gmail.com

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