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Forgiveness by Seth Godin

PMA Added…  Wise Words  “Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?”                               -Mary Manin Morrissey,

 

Forgiveness by Seth Godin

Has anyone ever said or done anything unforgiveable to you?  Something so awful you know you can never forgive them?

Probably this strikes a bell with most of my readers.  It would certainly be rare to find someone who has never been mistreated, never misunderstood, never abused in one way or another.  In some cases the abuse may have been particularly nasty.  Something you would much rather forget, but find you cannot.

Does this person deserve your forgiveness?  Probably not.  Should you forgive them?  Absolutely!

Why do I say this?  If they don’t deserve your forgiveness, why should you forgive them?  Am I trying to turn you into a saint or something?

No.  I am not saying this to make you a "goody goody".  And I am certainly not suggesting you should allow anyone to take advantage of you.  So why I am saying it?

The reason is that I believe you deserve to be free.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be able to do whatever you wish in life and not be weighed down carrying a load dumped on you by someone else.

If there is anyone you have not forgiven for what they have done or said to you this means you are allowing that person to control your life.  You are giving them the ultimate victory over you.  Is that what you want?  If not, you simply have to find a way to forgive them.

Some of you may now be saying "it’s all very well for you to say that, but you don’t know how I have suffered!  You cannot understand just how bad this was!"

I agree I cannot know what it is like to suffer in the way you may have suffered.  To use a common Christian saying, we each have our own cross to bear.  The one you are bearing may be far heavier than mine.  But even though I cannot understand just how bad it was for you, what I do understand is that you are now carrying an unnecessary burden.  Just like "Christian" in John Bunyan’s "Pilgrim’s Progress".  Christian was carrying a burden so heavy he could hardly move.  So are you if there is someone you have not forgiven.  Your happiness is marred because every so often you think of this unforgiveable thing that was done to you and it spoils what would otherwise be a lovely moment in a lovely day.  Why not simply throw that burden away?  It is not stuck to you with superglue.  You have chosen to carry it.  Now you should choose to throw it away.

There may be others who will say "but there is nobody I haven’t forgiven!  Nobody has done anything particularly bad to me!"  If so, you are very fortunate!  But I would suggest there are probably some slights, some grievances, some humiliations that your conscious mind has forgotten but are still bubbling away somewhere under the surface.  You do not feel desperately unhappy, but because there are some unforgiving words and actions loitering in your unconscious mind what could be a really happy moment is, instead, just mildly pleasant.  These unforgiving things are stopping you reaching your full potential.  They are controlling you.

Would you like to free yourself of this burden?  Great!

The first thing you must do is find all the actions and words you have not yet forgiven.  Some may be easy to find.  Others will be hiding under the surface.  Sit quietly and let them come to you.

Now, for each unforgiving act or word find the person.  Picture that person in ,your mind.  Say to them "I forgive you".  At first you will probably feel silly. But don’t worry about that.  Nobody is watching you.  Nobody is laughing at you.  This is something you are doing for yourself so you can be happier.

As you do this you will find a part of your mind will tell you that this person does not deserve your forgiveness.  You can immediately dispel that thought by saying "they may not deserve it, but I am forgiving them for me, not for them!"  This other part of your mind may say it was totally wrong of them to do this to you.  Respond by saying "I am not the one who will judge them for it, and I am not asking them or anyone else to do this again to me, I am just letting go so this act no longer controls me.  I forgive!"

If you are a Christian you should remember the phrase in the Lord’s Prayer "Forgive me my wrongdoings as I forgive those who have done wrong to me"?  Whether or not you are a Christian this is a phrase I would like you to remember and use.  When you forgive others you will find that forgiveness of yourself comes quite naturally too.  But give it a helping hand anyway.  Add your own wrongdoings now.  See them clearly and then forgive yourself.  As long as you have forgiven others you should find you are now able to forgive yourself.  When you do you really should find you feel light and buoyant.  You have let go of your burden.

Try to perform this act of forgiveness every day.  I suggest you do it last thing at night before you go to sleep, as you should find your sleep will then be that much more refreshing.  Try it, let go, don’t allow anyone to control you any more and see just how much difference this makes in your life!

Gray Lawrence

Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes" Peter Drucker

My own thought’s knowledge is King and Inspiration to us all, less we ignore this.

Be Inspired Adrienne Austermann

PMA Added only..                                                                         "We could focus on everything that mattered to us. It is so satisfying to hold a thought and to find the feeling place and then see the Universe conspire to help you receive it. Oh, co-creation at its best." Abraham

 

Steps to True Happiness

Adrienne AustermannIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Under the umbrellas of intention and authenticity lie core values we can foster which will help lead us to, and maintain, the ultimate state of happiness – to be happy with yourself. Values such as integrity, compassion, empathy and trust are the cornerstones of personal growth and fulfillment.

Living with intention simply means to be mindful that your actions are purposeful with forward movement. You intend to be compassionate, you intend to forgive, and you intend to choose love. Shed your expectations of others. No one is perfect, nor should you expect them to be. Flaws can build character; acknowledge them and strive for growth over perfection. Because the places we grow mostly exist outside our comfort zone, we must continually challenge ourselves to try new things and take risks. Take a stand for what is right, even if you stand alone. There is no point in pursuing popularity, if you can’t live with yourself.

Intend to help others, not change them. When someone reaches out, give them something to hold onto, even if it is simple, compassionate words of encouragement. Advise, model and support others knowing that everyone has their own personal journey and lessons to learn – some of which my come from you. Practice empathy. The ability to acknowledge another person’s feelings is a powerful gift of validation that you can give often and freely.

To live with authenticity is to not let others define you. You should never be in conflict with who you are, and who others expect you to be. Be true to yourself without worrying about trite things like “fitting in” or being judged. Authenticity is about acknowledging and honoring your unique gifts and utilizing them throughout your life.

Trust your instincts. They will serve you well. Your instincts are a powerful accumulation of knowledge and experience that you can’t always articulate but are burned into your subconscious. I believe blind faith can be equally as dangerous as it can be up-lifting. Seek to know, not just believe. And when there are no answers, trust your instincts.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Unfortunately, people hurt each other. You deserve to be free from the weight of resentment and anger. Forgiving can be a gift of peace to yourself. Be mindful not to over think, relive, or obsess over outcomes out of your control. Wanting, wishing and hoping for something to be different will never make it so. Accept, even when you can’t understand.

Finally, never forget your dreams. It’s ok to put them on the back burner as life unfolds in unexpected ways. But while they are there, let them simmer. Stir them up every now and then, and when the time is right, bring them forth and pursue them with passion.

Be humble, be grateful and always be mindful of fostering the values that lead to your higher self, and the ultimate state of happiness – inner peace.

“Healing resides in the depth of your heart. When you find the source of Love, all limitations fall away and you discover your wholeness.” – Inna Segal

Gray Lawrence                                                                 The true secret to success lies within not the mind, actions or visions but feelings, which is a fruit of the heart

 

Finding Happiness

image

“We all have the capability to make a difference, to accept what we are given, to love with our heart and live life to the fullest, or not: it’s up to us.” – Tracy Goodwin

If you want to find the key to happiness, success and abundance, you need to start by evaluating your own opinion of yourself. It’s not always easy to appreciate the hard work you put in every day, the difference you make in the lives of others, and the distance you’re willing to go to make your dreams come true. If it were easy, then everyone would do it, but before you even begin to think about things such as success and failure, you need to come to know yourself, and then you need to learn to love yourself.

Wise Words  “Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Why is it Challenging to Love Ourselves?

It’s not easy, because as the saying goes, “we are all our own worst critics.” That saying, though it may be cliché, is absolutely correct. We find it difficult to love ourselves because we witness every mistake we make, every personality flaw we carry, every selfish tendency we possess, and we also are the one who knows exactly what we are capable of.

Learning to love yourself is not something that happens overnight, it is learned through experience and effort. Too often society teaches us that we need to look outside ourselves to find out who we really are, but I think the exact opposite is true. If you really want to understand more about your purpose in life, you need to turn inward, not outward. Turning outward will cause you to submit to the pressures of the world and be a person that you aren’t meant to be, but reflecting inward will connect you with your true self, and if you follow your instincts you will never be led astray.

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." Marcus Aurelius

How to Love Yourself

The more you reflect inward, the more you will learn about yourself, and through that learning you will come to appreciate what you have to offer the world. You will realize that you are stronger, more intelligent, and more talented than you have ever imagined. You will feel moved to share your gifts with the world, and over time that will transform you into an unselfish person who knows what it means to find success.

If the idea of loving yourself wholeheartedly is foreign to you, try taking the following steps and see what kind of difference it makes:

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Never let a day pass without looking for the good, feeling the good within you, praising, appreciating, blessing, and being grateful. Make it your life commitment, and you will stand in utter awe of what happens in your life. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

#1: Forgive Yourself for Past and Future Mistakes

Each one of us will make mistakes every day, so you might as well forgive yourself now and get it over with it. Once you learn to forgive yourself of mistakes and move forward, you will be better in control of your emotional state, which will allow you to continue pushing toward your goals of success when mistakes and failures do come up. And here’s a secret: they will always come up!

It is so important that you are grateful for everything in your life. Many people focus on the one thing they want and then forget to be grateful for all the things they have. Without gratitude you cannot achieve anything through the law of attraction, because if you are not emanating gratitude from your being, then by default you are emanating ungratefulness. Be proactive and use the frequency of your being to receive what you want. May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne

#2: Put Your Own Needs First Every Once in a While

Each one of us has our own personal needs, but usually we get too caught up taking care of the needs of others to make time to take care of ourselves. If you want to build more confidence and have positive feelings toward yourself, you need to ask yourself “Is this what I really want?” before you make any important decisions. Don’t make decisions based on the opinions of others, make decisions that are right for you. Over time you will love yourself more for being willing to trust.

"Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." Og Mandino

#3: Make Time to do Things you Love!

The most successful people in the world rarely have a difficult time with their work, because they are involved in things they are deeply passionate about. You can take this same attitude with your life. If you aren’t doing things you love on a routine basis, what is the purpose of living? Of course, make sure you have time to attend to all of your responsibilities, but always leave extra time for the things you love most.

You are led through your life time by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is you’re real self. Don’t turn away from possible futures before you are certain you don’t have anything to learn from them. You’re always free to change your mind and chose a different future, or a different past. The book Illusions.

Gray Lawrence

“Pure love has no conditions or boundaries. Love does not restrain itself or hold back. Love gives all the time and doesn’t ask for anything in return. Love is a continuous flow without any limits. And all of this is inside you.                                                           May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Forgiveness by Seth Godin

PMA Added…  Wise Words  “Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” -Mary Manin Morrissey,

Has anyone ever said or done anything unforgiveable to you?  Something so awful you know you can never forgive them?

Probably this strikes a bell with most of my readers.  It would certainly be rare to find someone who has never been mistreated, never misunderstood, never abused in one way or another.  In some cases the abuse may have been particularly nasty.  Something you would much rather forget, but find you cannot.

Does this person deserve your forgiveness?  Probably not.  Should you forgive them?  Absolutely!

Why do I say this?  If they don’t deserve your forgiveness, why should you forgive them?  Am I trying to turn you into a saint or something?

No.  I am not saying this to make you a "goody goody".  And I am certainly not suggesting you should allow anyone to take advantage of you.  So why I am saying it?

The reason is that I believe you deserve to be free.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be able to do whatever you wish in life and not be weighed down carrying a load dumped on you by someone else.

If there is anyone you have not forgiven for what they have done or said to you this means you are allowing that person to control your life.  You are giving them the ultimate victory over you.  Is that what you want?  If not, you simply have to find a way to forgive them.

Some of you may now be saying "it’s all very well for you to say that, but you don’t know how I have suffered!  You cannot understand just how bad this was!"

I agree I cannot know what it is like to suffer in the way you may have suffered.  To use a common Christian saying, we each have our own cross to bear.  The one you are bearing may be far heavier than mine.  But even though I cannot understand just how bad it was for you, what I do understand is that you are now carrying an unnecessary burden.  Just like "Christian" in John Bunyan’s "Pilgrim’s Progress".  Christian was carrying a burden so heavy he could hardly move.  So are you if there is someone you have not forgiven.  Your happiness is marred because every so often you think of this unforgiveable thing that was done to you and it spoils what would otherwise be a lovely moment in a lovely day.  Why not simply throw that burden away?  It is not stuck to you with superglue.  You have chosen to carry it.  Now you should choose to throw it away.

There may be others who will say "but there is nobody I haven’t forgiven!  Nobody has done anything particularly bad to me!"  If so, you are very fortunate!  But I would suggest there are probably some slights, some grievances, some humiliations that your conscious mind has forgotten but are still bubbling away somewhere under the surface.  You do not feel desperately unhappy, but because there are some unforgiving words and actions loitering in your unconscious mind what could be a really happy moment is, instead, just mildly pleasant.  These unforgiving things are stopping you reaching your full potential.  They are controlling you.

Would you like to free yourself of this burden?  Great!

The first thing you must do is find all the actions and words you have not yet forgiven.  Some may be easy to find.  Others will be hiding under the surface.  Sit quietly and let them come to you.

Now, for each unforgiving act or word find the person.  Picture that person in your mind.  Say to them "I forgive you".  At first you will probably feel silly. But don’t worry about that.  Nobody is watching you.  Nobody is laughing at you.  This is something you are doing for yourself so you can be happier.

As you do this you will find a part of your mind will tell you that this person does not deserve your forgiveness.  You can immediately dispel that thought by saying "they may not deserve it, but I am forgiving them for me, not for them!"  This other part of your mind may say it was totally wrong of them to do this to you.  Respond by saying "I am not the one who will judge them for it, and I am not asking them or anyone else to do this again to me, I am just letting go so this act no longer controls me.  I forgive!"

If you are a Christian you should remember the phrase in the Lord’s Prayer "Forgive me my wrongdoings as I forgive those who have done wrong to me"?  Whether or not you are a Christian this is a phrase I would like you to remember and use.  When you forgive others you will find that forgiveness of yourself comes quite naturally too.  But give it a helping hand anyway.  Add your own wrongdoings now.  See them clearly and then forgive yourself.  As long as you have forgiven others you should find you are now able to forgive yourself.  When you do you really should find you feel light and buoyant.  You have let go of your burden.

Try to perform this act of forgiveness every day.  I suggest you do it last thing at night before you go to sleep, as you should find your sleep will then be that much more refreshing.  Try it, let go, don’t allow anyone to control you any more and see just how much difference this makes in your life!

Gray Lawrence

Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes" Peter Drucker

6 Things Happy People Never Do

PMA Added:

You just might be the miracle someone is looking for today.
Remember that every single moment has a miracle of possibility.
If I am present to the moment, something I know, something I can share, something I can give or some way I can presence love can actually bring a miracle in a moment that I am sharing with someone.
I encourage you to walk through this day remembering that you just might be the miracle someone is looking for today. Here’s To Miracles, Mary Morrissey

 

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

6 Things Happy People Never Do

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design into the present.

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savouring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.

But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions.  Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Those who accept you are your friends.  Those who don’t are your teachers.  If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true.  Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem.  What other people call you is their problem…

What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.

3.  Rely on other people and external events for happiness.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such.  Don’t let your happiness be held hostage.  It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.

As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.  Take full responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier.  Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy.  Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment, and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment you seek.

The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation.  Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you.  A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you like.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

4.  Hold on to resentment.

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past.  What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page.

We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go.

Forgiveness is the remedy.  It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

5.  Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.

You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.  So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.

When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK AWAY.  When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.

Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself.  Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts.  They are all lies.  They solve nothing.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

6.  Resist the truth.

It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth.  Lives come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.  If you resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night.  You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.

So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular.  It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one.  It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live.  Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

Your turn…

 

When we start looking at everything that might go wrong, we fear then to attempt.  Our opportunity today is to pay attention to any thoughts that could be vibrations of doubt and turn them into faith.  Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.  But not today.  Our doubts will not have their way with us today.  Our faith shall prevail.  To Your Prevailing Faith,  Mary Morrissey

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Gray Lawrence

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

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Gray Lawrence

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