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5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

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A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude.       Napoleon Hill

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

“The past has no power over the present moment.”
―Eckhart Tolle

There is great value in every act of forgiveness.  You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, and you can forgive even when you don’t know exactly who to forgive, because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is at fault.  It is about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has already happened, and that there’s no point in allowing it to dominate the rest of your life.  Forgiveness refreshingly cleans the slate and enables you to step forward.  Here are five unique ways to make this step possible:

1.  Stop trying for a while.

If you’re trying hard and haplessly making zero progress, stop trying.  Stop trying and start being.

When you see yourself as trying – to do something else or get somewhere else – you don’t interpret what you have and where you are as being good enough.  This perception of constantly trying makes living seem like an endless struggle.

There is great value within you right here, right now.  Allow it to come out, willingly and without a struggle.  Instead of trying to get to some other point in your life, give your full attention to doing your very best with the life you are living now.  Instead of believing that you are not there yet, be grateful that you are right where you are meant to be at this moment.

Yes, by all means set goals and take steps in the right direction, but don’t disregard the steps as you take them – these steps are your life’s story.  Let go of all the needless trying and let yourself take these steps peacefully and mindfully.  Let go of the judgments, forgive the past, and let this moment be as incredible as it is.  (This is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity and Happiness chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Be the watcher of your thoughts and emotions.

In his best selling book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle tells us to be the watcher of our thoughts.  What he suggests is that instead of trying to change our thoughts – via gratitude or deliberate forgiveness, for example – we need to simply notice our thoughts without getting caught up in them.

You are ultimately the sole creator of your own feelings.  When negative thoughts arise based on past experiences or future worries, as they sometimes will, realize that these are simply issues your mind (not you) is working through.  Pause, be present and pay close attention.  Think about these thoughts and emotions consciously, almost as if you were a bystander looking in.  Separate yourself from your mind’s thinking.

Perhaps after you study your thoughts and emotions you will think to yourself, “Wow, am I really still working through that?”  And guess what?  Over time, your negative feelings and emotions will lessen and genuine awareness, love and acceptance will grow in their place.  You will begin to realize that your mind is just an instrument, and you are in control of your mind, not the other way around.

By not judging your thoughts or blaming them on anyone else, and merely watching them, there will be a big shift within you – your sense of self worth.

It’s not like you won’t get upset anymore or never feel anxious, but knowing that your thoughts and emotions are just fleeting feelings that are independent of YOU will help ease your tension and increase your positive presence, allowing you to forgive and let go.

3.  Love.

Feeling sorry for yourself and sabotaging the present moment with resentful thoughts of the past won’t make anything better.  Hurting someone else will never ease your own inner angst.

If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with someone else, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you.  Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life.

The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.

Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth.  There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them.  Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible.

If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain.  Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness.  Find the light.  Act out of love.  Do something that will enable you to move forward toward a more fulfilling reality.  There is always something good you can do.  There is always love to give.  Fill your heart with it and act in everyone’s best interest, especially your own.

4.  Seek positive revenge by living well.

Are you contemplating revenge?  You know that’s negative thinking getting the best of you.  However, there is a way to seek revenge positively.

How?  Forget about them.  Remember you.  Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others.  Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead.  If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your positive energy will attract more positive results into your current reality.

Be unlike the person or situation that hurt you.  Let go and grow past your pain.  Carry on living well in a way that creates peace in your heart.  The energy you would spend trying to get real revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself.

The bottom line is that the best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing a fresh smile on your face.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

5.  Let go of the need to forgive every mistake.

Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.  Most of the time they just need to be accepted, not forgiven.

There is an obvious shift in your heart and mind that happens when you go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place.

To help you wrap your head around this concept, try to look at your situation from 40,000 feet.  Imagine a more seasoned, wiser and more compassionate version of yourself sitting at the mountaintop of life, looking down and watching as the younger minded, current version of you hacks your way through life.

You see yourself holding on to false beliefs and making epic errors of judgment as you manoeuvre through life’s many obstacles.  You watch the children of the world growing up in challenging times that test their sense of self-confidence, yet they push forward bravely.  You see the coming generation radiating with passion and love as they fail forward, learning through their mistakes.

And you have to wonder:  Would this wiser version of yourself conclude that everyone in their own unique way was doing their very best.  And if everyone is trying to do their best, what needs to be forgiven?  Not being perfect?

Perfection doesn’t exist.  Forgiveness is oftentimes the simple realization that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.

Your turn…

Who would you like to forgive?  What stressful burdens do you need to let go of and rise above? 

We will forget and forgive any judgment error that you make, but integrity mistakes are forever. — David Cottrell

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

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"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Develope yourself

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.
Your world will become what you choose to make it. You can reach great heights of success, or you can settle for a miserable life that is devoid of hope. The choice is yours. When you choose a positive course, you set in motion an unstoppable force that will allow you to have a fulfilling career, the love of your family and friends, good physical and mental health, and all of the other true riches of life. To change your world, you must change it from the inside out. You must begin with yourself. When you choose the course that puts your life on a positive track, you will change your life for the better, and you will also positively influence the people with whom you come in contact.            Napoleon Hill

Develop your core self.
‘ ‘Human beings are the only creatures who do not mature automatically. A baby chick has no choice but to turn into a chicken. But the world is full of people stuck in childhood and adolescence, no matter how old they happen to be. For us, to mature is a decision: Adulthood is an achievement, one that requires—and results in—personal power.
This can takes decades, but it starts with a vision of the "core self." This is the part of you that connects to reality, placing you at the centre of experiences that you personally create. To have a core self is to be the author of your own story; it is the exact opposite of being a victim, who must live a life authored by others.

Powerful thinking creates a powerful energy in your life, but it all starts with a powerful heart “Heart Set” which creates a “Powerful Mind Set”

Align yourself with the flow of evolution, or personal growth.
Once you establish your core self as a goal, your path will unfold and you will evolve. This evolution is wobbly at first; everyone has at least some elements of ignorance and immaturity. But’ ‘thanks to free will, you can help guide your own evolution. The simple fact is that we all desire more and better things for ourselves. If those more and better things are good for our growth, then we are guiding our own positive and powerful evolution. In India they make a distinction between dharma and adharma. Dharma includes whatever naturally upholds life: happiness, truth, duty, virtue, wonder, worship, reverence, appreciation, nonviolence, love, self-respect. On the other hand, adharma consists of choices that do not support life naturally: anger, violence, fear, control, dogmatism, scepticism, unvirtuous acts, prejudice, addiction, intolerance, and unconsciousness in general.
For our purposes, dharma is the ultimate power. It easily supports you, a single individual. What is asked of you is that you honestly look at your everyday life and the choices you are making. Ask yourself how to increase the dharmic
choices and decrease the adharmic ones.

You learn in life that the only person you can really correct and change is yourself.   You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.    Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.  Stan Billue

 

Trust in a power that transcends everyday reality.
Nothing described so far will come true without a higher reality. For the moment, let’s leave aside religion and any reference to God. Fortunately, to have even a speck of consciousness is to be connected to the finite consciousness that supports life, evolution, creativity, and intelligence. None of these things are accidental or a privilege handed out to the lucky few.
To use a metaphor, imagine that you are caught in a net. All nets have holes, so find one, and jump through it. I’ve known wives of abusive husbands who found a hole through, say, learning to paint. For them, it was an escape route, and as they made art, their thinking changed from "I am trapped and can do nothing" to "I must be worth more than I imagined, because look at this beautiful thing I created." Escape routes exist along the qualities hidden in consciousness. They include:
Creativity. Go beyond by discovery and exploration. This leads to insight. Your inner vision clears. You start to see glimmers of light through the fog of your situation. Something more beautiful starts to attract you, and you want to go toward it.
Intelligence. Let your mind lead the way. You start having newer, more exciting thoughts than the old habitual ones you’ve been following. Beliefs are challenged. New points of view attract you, so you move toward them. You’ll want to expand your mind in place of living behind defences and boundaries.
Love and compassion. Discover that you can forgive yourself and others. Fantasies of hurt and revenge are replaced with emotional softening. You see that there is untapped love around you, so you move toward it. The fact that you desire to love and be loved starts to motivate you, without excuses about being unworthy.
Quantum leaps. Notice—and learn—when you have an epiphany, a moment of dramatic awakening. These are the great "aha" experiences that peel away an entire layer of reality. We say that the heavens open, but really it’s a new level of consciousness, one that brings more light.
Devotion. Understand that life is full of awe and wonder. From this you see a reason to revere your own existence. You have been placed in a world where you can be devoted to something, and your worship gives you a sense of worth.
These escape routes all lead back to the person you really are, and that person know that what really counts extends far beyond the individual: the glory of creation, the beauty of nature, the heart qualities of love and compassion, the mental power to discover new things, and those unexpected epiphanies that bring the presence of God—these universal aspects are your true source of power. They are you, and you are all of them.

Our highest power is love, and it is one thing each of us has an unlimited amount of. How much love do you give to others in one day? Each day we have an opportunity to set out with this great, unlimited power in our possession, and pour it over every person and circumstance. Love is appreciating, complimenting, feeling gratitude, and speaking good words to others We have so much love to give, and the more that we give, the more we receive. May the joy be with you, The Secret Rhonda Byrne

 

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

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“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

Be Inspired by Colette Baron-Reid

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From The Secret Daily Teachings

Never let a day pass without looking for the good, feeling the good within you, praising, appreciating, blessing, and being grateful. Make it your life commitment, and you will stand in utter awe of what happens in your life. May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne

 

Inspired Quote of the Day™

Anyone can change the world with the willingness to surrender to a Higher Power, to shift their perception, to become accountable and to take a leap of faith regardless of outer conditions. ~ Colette Baron-Reid


Today’s Brilliance™

Colette Baron-Reid

Colette is an internationally respected intuitive counsellor and life strategist, coach, speaker, broadcast personality and bestselling author.

If I could share 500 words of wisdom to summarize what I’ve learned so far in life, these are the important things I’d want to pass along to others…

When people ask what I’ve learned from the experiences in my life I have to smile. What always comes to my mind is faith, accountability, courage, forgiveness and compassion.

I have learned perception is everything, And, most of all participating in your own rescue is not an option. It’s a necessity.

My life has been an amazing adventure from the very beginning. Some may hear my story and say, "How did she survive"? I have gone from the highs and lows of a childhood where I had no idea that my sense of always being different, feeling and seeing so many things beyond my understanding would ever make sense, to an eating disorder, to alcohol abuse, to rape, violence and drug addiction. While any one of these experiences can be defined as horrible, collectively, it’s my life. They all led me to the person I am today, and enabled me the gift of insight and deep compassion for others who suffer.

All of those painful devastating things led to an extraordinary spiritual awakening and the deep integrated recovery that is a reflection of who I am today. I could tell my story as a victim or I could tell it as an adventure where I was the heroine that found the magic of meaning in all stories. Both would be true.

And there are other stories within the stories! There have been more that shape the person I am; writing and singing music, creating bestselling books, meeting the man of my dreams, and countless others. So what do they all mean? Whatever I decide they mean.

I tell them all the same thing. Perception is paramount. I’ve learned to define what the experience could mean to me, only when I allow myself to see through Spirit’s eyes and then the choices really begin.

I’ve learned that in order to thrive in life you MUST participate in your own rescue. This means being willing to take ownership of your role and actions in the experience. Make the choice to:

  • Love yourself enough to ask for help.
  • Love yourself enough to say no when it is necessary.
  • Love yourself enough to receive the help with an open heart. Your self worth depends on it! Participating in your own rescue also means that you are willing to be brave enough to do whatever it takes to turn yourself around.

Throughout my life I’ve had what some would deem as insurmountable events show up. I had many opportunities to give up. Surrender. Allow life to happen "to me". But, I discovered along my journey that these events shape me and give me the tools I need to help others with their journey. My ideal is to use my experiences as an example to others of what can happen when you make a choice to define the experience as opposed to allowing the experience to happen to you.

This line of thinking and feeling has brought me to deep levels of self worth. When I can guide someone out of the dark to a beautiful new landscape, my heart is filled with love for all that I have learned. Paying forward is my ultimate reward!

When you CHOOSE your perception, participate in your own rescue, and love yourself enough to allow the experience to educate you, you will grow by leaps and bounds!

There is no paycheck that can equal the feeling of contentment that comes from being the person you are meant to be.         Oprah Winfrey

 

Your Vision of the future lies from within

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“The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth. The decision is yours”   Gray Lawrence

Be Inspired by Marci Shimoff

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Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." Burton Hills

 

Where To Find Happiness

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Marci ShimoffI was 41 years old, stretched out on a lounge chair by my pool and reflecting on my life. I had achieved all that I thought I needed to be happy. I had a successful career that helped people, a loving husband, a comfortable home, a great body, and a wonderful circle of friends.

But surprisingly I wasn’t on top of the world. I felt an emptiness inside that the outer successes of life couldn’t fill. I was also afraid that if I lost any of those things, I might be miserable. Sadly, I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

While happiness is the one thing that we all truly want, so few people really experience the deep and lasting fulfilment that feeds our soul. Our Founding Fathers even guaranteed us the right to pursue happiness, so why aren’t we finding it?

Because we’re looking for happiness, in the words of the old country western song, in “all the wrong places.”

The culmination of my pursuit of happiness was when I discovered a state I call Happy for No Reason, a neurophysiologic state of inner peace and well-being that isn’t dependent on circumstances. I believe this is our essential state.

When you’re Happy for No Reason, you bring happiness to your everyday experiences rather than extract happiness from them. You don’t need to manipulate the world around you to try to make yourself happy. You live from happiness, rather than for it.

Most of us struggle to string together as many happy experiences as we can, like beads in a necklace, to create a happy life. We do our best to find just the right beads that will fulfil us. Being Happy for No Reason, in this analogy, is like having a happy string. No matter what beads we put on our necklace—good and not so good—our inner reality, the string that runs through them all, is happy, and we experience an unshakeable positive state inside.

So, how do we get there?

The only difference between happy and unhappy people is that they have different habits.One of the most prevalent habits that happy people share is believing that the universe is out to support them—that this is a friendly universe. When things don’t seem to be going their way, instead of feeling like victims, they look for the lesson and the gift in the situation. In other words, they believe there is a higher purpose that is supporting their ultimate good.

Practicing this one habit has made a huge difference in my own life. Try it yourself: The next time you face a challenge, take a moment to reflect silently, asking yourself, “If this were happening for a higher purpose, what would it be?” I’m certain that whatever answer you discover will be illuminating, but more importantly you’ll begin tapping into that state of inner peace and well-being on a regular basis.

Remember, when you’re Happy for No Reason, it’s not that your life always looks perfect—it’s that however it looks, you’ll still be happy!

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Opportunities are never lost. . . . They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

Grateful Gratitude

Character is accurately reflected in one’s mental attitude.
Without a strong foundation built on positive character traits, success will not long endure. It is virtually impossible to fake good character. Phonies are quickly spotted because they haven’t the substance and determination to maintain the charade. Developing good character begins with a positive attitude. Your desire to be a good, decent, honest, considerate person must first take place in your mind. When you make the decision to become a person of character, you will also find that you are much more willing to do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do.- Napoleon hill

"Today I am grateful for resources."
Gratitude opens the door to power wisdom and the creativity of the universeIt is essential to give your focus and attention to the resources that surround you always.  And when you feel completely cut off and like there is a lack of resources, THAT is the time to give this extra attention…
There is always an abundance of resources around you, and just like everything else, noticing the resources (or not noticing them)
is completely up to you – it is your choice. And trust me, when you take time to refocus your attention on resources (instead of the absence of them) then MORE flows into your life. If you are struggling with this, that’s okay, here’s some help…
Oxygen is a resource for you – Electricity is a resource for you – Water is a resource for you – Love is a resource for you
Energy is a resource for you
and the list goes on and on…
Remember, it is up to you to choose to see the resources that surround you. It is up to you to celebrate them and love them and give thanks for them, so… "Today, I am grateful for resources." You are Extraordinary!

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of lifeGratitude is an essential element when you want to raise your vibration.  You hear about how important it is at every turn. I personally talk about it all the time and it is a major part of many of my programs.

So, here’s the crazy thing that I want to share with you today because I’m concerned you may be struggling with it and it actually may be sabotaging your manifesting?
What is it?

"A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude." Bruce Wilkinson

Gratitude Guilt!
Grattiude is the most important single ingredient to lifeHere is what seems to be happening with a lot of people, and maybe it is happening to you too…
They realize the importance of gratitude, so they decide to start incorporating it into their lives and they make sure to take time for gratitude every day.

At first it goes great, they feel better, they feel alive and aware of how much is in their lives that they can be grateful for that they weren’t even noticing before.

They start to feel much more connected to the power of the moment. They even start to notice that during the rest of their day they are seeing more and more things to be grateful for, big things and small things seem to leap out at them and they are excited by how amazing these new found gratitude glasses feel.
And then?
Gratitude guilt starts to creep in and guilty thoughts bombard them, things like:

· Well, I don’t want to make other people feel bad with all I have to be grateful for.

· It’s not fair that I am experiencing gratitude for my life while the people I love aren’t.

· My friends and family are going to judge me, so I’d better not share how grateful I am.

· I don’t want to rub anyone else’s nose in my gratitude.

· If I’m not struggling, then what I achieve isn’t valuable, and gratitude has eased my struggle, etc. Does this sound familiar?

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The yellow brick road "is"paved with Gold all you have to do is open the right door in your mind & take the first step..Gray Lawrence

 

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