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Life without pants Matt Chevott

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"Leaders aren’t born, they are made. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to  achieve any goal which is worthwhile."                        Vince Lombardi

"Great leaders do many things, but perhaps the most telling characteristic is a natural and authentic ability to inspire excellence while maintaining strength and a modicum of humility. These are the people who will lead you to success – in the battlefield or in the boardroom. The true reflection of a leader’s ability is measured not only in a company’s bottom line, but also in the success and empowerment of each individual.
Being a boss doesn’t necessarily make you a leader; nor does being bossy. In fact, a leader isn’t always the boss. The difference between the two is this: Bosses manage, leaders inspire. Anyone can manage, but not everyone can lead.
Great leaders command confidence and trust not by demanding, but by encouraging."
These words of wisdom on leadership from Amy Cosper, Editor in Chief of Inc. Magazine, couldn’t be more on point. As you lead, keep in mind the difference between being a boss and being a leader.

"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind." – Darwin P. Kingsley

We are each meant to be impact people. My son, Richard, once wrote this sweet and comical line, “Faster than a negative thought, more powerful than a bad mood, able to leap their greatest fear in a single bound: It’s Impact Person!”
Today, decide to be an impact person. You can find a moment in your day where you are crossing someone else’s path and be a demonstration, an example, and a presence of love even with a smile, a word or a thought.

"Why don’t people like me?"
It’s a question you’ve undoubtedly asked yourself before. As a writer. As an artist. As a manager. As a creative professional. As a human being. We genuinely want people to like us. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
But what is wrong is trying to make people like you. It’s not your job to convince everyone – or anyone – that you’re awesome. In fact, if you find yourself needing to be persuasive to gain friends, supporters, fans, and followers, you’re probably doing something wrong.
Instead of telling – start showing. Focus on doing great work. Focus on perfecting your craft. Don’t focus on what everyone else IS doing – focus on what they ARE NOT doing – that’s where you’ll find your opportunity to shine.
By doing great things – and sticking to your guns – you may lose some support – but the real love, support, friendship, and follow-ship will undoubtedly shine through.

It is important to remember that it is your thoughts and feelings together that create with the law of attraction, and you cannot separate them. Also remember that it’s your feelings that are summing up your overall frequency and telling you what you are creating in this moment. So how are you feeling right now? Could you feel better? Well then, do what it takes right now to feel better. Rhonda Byrne

Gray Lawrence

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." — Helen Keller

How to inspire change BY KARIN DAMES

5 Ways to Inspire Change - People Development Network

Karin Dames

Transformation coach at Pure Growth

Karin DamesWith nearly 20 years experience in the software development industry, Karin moved into a coaching role. She specializes in helping teams get unstuck and creating high-performance teams while actively participating in projects. She is passionate about creating highly productive, happy workplaces and learning organizations where each person thrives.

 

 

5 WAYS TO INSPIRE CHANGE

Have you ever been so frustrated with your work environment that you want to run away, never to come back again?  Have you ever felt desperately hopeless, not knowing how to motivate your people or make your manager listen to you?  Or have you ever felt so powerless to change what seems like the size of the Titanic, overwhelmed and outnumbered, in your attempt to improve your working conditions and results?

The sad truth is, from personal experience in any case, that if you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re far from alone.  Rather, I would risk saying that you are in a very average organization. Chances are that the majority of the people and workplaces you interact with will feel very similar.

It’s like a constant tug of war between employer and employee. The employee feels frustrated that the workplace doesn’t change, and the employer feels frustrated that the employees don’t change.

Everyone waits for someone, or something else to change, resulting in no change at all.

We rather choose the road more travelled, the typical keeping-up-with-the-Jones’ syndrome, out of fear of embarking on something new and unknown. We follow the buzzwords and do things the way it’s always been done, rather than exploring unknown territory.  We are so afraid that we might end up in a dead end and have to turn around, even though on the other hand, we might discover a valuable treasure. Our inborn negativity bias makes us choose known over unknown whenever there is the slightest risk of failure.

Yet, the most beautiful view always emerges after the hardest climb.  And did Columbus not explore unknown territory, the world as we know it would be a very different place.  In order to succeed, you need to embrace and inspire change.  Don’t wait for someone else to change. Rather, be the change you want to see in your workplace.

Here are five ways to inspire change in your workplace:

1. It must be a choice

You can’t tell someone to be inspired, so don’t try to tell someone to change.  No change forced on someone will result in sustained change.

To use the brilliant metaphor by Rick Hanson, forced change is like Teflon – nothing sticks – while voluntary change is like Velcro.

For change to stick, it has to be voluntary.

If you believe you d1on’t have the time to get buy-in, think again.  The reason why people fall back into old habits the moment that there is a crisis is because it gives them permission to break the rules, allowing them to do things the way they feel comfortable with and prefer, not the rules imposed on them by management.

Taking the time to allow people to choose the change might postpone the change for a while, yet it will probably result in a successful and sustainable change in the end.  Forcing change on someone because there is no time, will most certainly result in the transformation failing. Not only have you wasted a lot of time, you don’t have any results to show for it.   So do you really not have the time?

2. Demonstrate quick wins

One of the most valuable things I learned as a consultant was to identify and implement quick wins immediately.  As consultants usually come with a much higher price tag than full-time employees, they are expected to show value for money immediately.

When someone is not aware of the need to change, try to find one small, actionable thing that will immediately show an improvement.  Demonstrating quick wins are like giving a sample of a product.  Either they will see the value and want more, or decide that it is not for them.  Yet, even though they decide not to embark on a journey of change immediately, your quick win has planted a seed which will surely germinate and grow into a plant sooner or later.

Listen to the complaints, and address the biggest pain point without asking for any resources or incentives.

To demonstrate what I mean, I recently had the opportunity to spend time at a design and print company. The owner complained about the constant, and often unnecessary, interruptions, keeping her from doing what she’s good at, namely the creative side of things.  On top of that, her workload seemed extremely high yet she didn’t know what to do about it. The helpers she employed, on the other hand, seemed to do nothing for large parts of the day.

After further investigation, I realized her management style was the main cause of both problems – an easy problem to solve. I immediately implemented a simple Scrum board which stopped the interruptions by having two daily stand-ups to discuss any issues, alleviating her biggest pain point. The following week, on a quiet day, I facilitated a training session to allow the under-utilized employees to do the printing.  It left her much happier, able to focus on the creative side while filling up the other employee’s day and learning a much desired new skill which they.

Neither required any additional resources or investments while giving immediate relief for the most painful problem. It also proved valuable enough to her to commit on embarking on coaching program with me.

3. Adapt your style

Having spent a year in Thailand teaching English, I’ve had to find ways to get my lessons across without speaking Thai.  I quickly realized that tried and tested methods that worked in the western culture had no value in the Thai culture. I had to change my teaching style.

What I, for example, considered to be a world famous people, places or things in order to explain concepts, they have never heard of.  To make it worse, their language doesn’t seem to have any similarities to English.  There are no tenses in Thai, no punctuation, no distinction between sentences and paragraphs, and the sounds are totally different, with concepts such as word stress unknown to them.

Determined to succeed, however, I experimented with ways to leverage on learning methods they are familiar with, like remembering and repeating facts and finding fields of interest that would spark their interest by giving them projects where they could choose the object of the discussion.

When the student doesn’t understand, it’s the teacher’s fault.

Suddenly I found that my students not only keen to come to class, but their progress was extraordinary.  I taught the same skills, but I changed my style.

Similarly, with organizational change, you can’t expect the employees to buy into the change program by speaking your language.  You need to adapt your style to speak in a language that the recipient understands.

4. Push through the discomfort

When people stubbornly refuse to see the need for change, it often hurts the people and organization around them.  Either because of fear or ego, they hold onto dysfunctional situations, causing more harm each day they refuse to change. To make a stubborn leader aware of a need to change, direct confrontation might be required, pushing through the discomfort that follows with compassion.

Sometimes you have to open the wound in order to remove the splinter.

To get the other person to see your point, you have to honestly say what you think and feel, even though it might hurt the other person.  When they get angry or want to walk away, keep going.  Push through.  Don’t stop!

Denial is usually followed by anger.  Anger always covers a deep hurt, with people feeling humiliated, embarrassed, vulnerable, exposed.  Treat them with the necessary kindness and compassion, and finally, attempt to find a resolution.

5. Walk away

Sometimes people will not allow you to push through the discomfort, and the best thing you can do in this case is to walk away.

Either both they and you will be relieved from the discomfort that a change agent demands or they will realize the need for change and finally see your value.

You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it.

Most people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.  By walking away you give the company the opportunity to see your true worth.  If they really value you, they will ask for you to come back and in so commit to change. If they don’t, you will be much happier in a more nurturing work environment where you feel more valued.

Don’t hold onto a dysfunctional environment. They might not be ready for the change you propose, or they might not think it is needed.  Either, or, change has to be voluntary.

Conclusion

Being an inspiring leader who inspires change in the workplace is not a special gift you are born with, it is a skill like any that you can learn.

Change starts with an awareness that there is a need to change.  It requires courage to explore the unknown and be vulnerable.  Inspiring sustainable change requires voluntary buy-in into the change program and a strong leader who will be able to push through the fears.

Gray Lawrence

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Natural Selling Feed Back Lesson Six the last but one

 

You can’t control others’ acts, but you can control your reaction to their acts, and that is what counts most to you.
No one can make you feel any negative emotion — fear, anger, or inferiority — without your express permission. There will always be people who find perverse enjoyment in upsetting others, or who simply play upon your emotions so that they can use you for their own selfish purposes. Whether or not they are successful depends entirely upon you and how you react to their negative behaviours. When you are forced to deal with such people, recognize from the outset that they are trying to upset you, not because of something you may have done to them, but because of some problem they have with themselves. Tell yourself, “This isn’t about me. I will not allow this person to upset me. I am in control of my emotions and my life.” Napoleon Hill

The Importance of Feedback

Today, we look at the 4th Principle and a very important part of the Natural Selling Approach.

The fourth Principle Feeding Back What You Think You Heard

Leading a team being carried on an arrow the way aheadTo ensure continual understanding, feeding back or clarifying what you think you heard, is something you will learn to do on a constant basis throughout your dialogue, making sure that you’re on the right track, using phrases like…

"Let me repeat that to make sure I understand what you’re saying" or * "Would you go over that again to make sure I understand…?"

Don’t take anything for granted as you progress.

If you don’t understand something, ask for it to be repeated.

Think about the saying; "I know you think you know what I said but what I said is not what I really meant!"

Also, summarizing what you think you heard gives the other person the opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Words and phrases can often mean different things to different people.

Remember, we are all individuals and we each have our own view of the world!

A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion.. This is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds and you will know too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.                            From the book Illusions.

The ultimate feedback is at the end of your conversation when you are presenting your solution. This is the time when you are in a position to summarize what a person has, what they are looking for and why they want it and how you can help them get it by offering your solution. If you feedback, recap and present this based on everything they told you, you will have truly demonstrated a complete understanding.

And people love people who understand them. It’s extraordinary what people will tell you if you listen to them. Why? Because you’ll be one in a million who does listen, and if you do it with love and care, you become a very valuable person.

In fact, you create value in you and everything you represent with your ability to ask questions, listen and feedback.

listening takes practice and it takes patience  but I promise if you listen your story will be better for itThe point is that by not focusing on selling your solutions services, but focusing on discovering and understanding problems and getting behind them first, to see whether you can help, and whether the other person is prepared to be helped, you will both see people’s challenges more clearly.

As well, when you understand what a person is really looking for and why they want it you will be able to customize your solution and present it so that it personally means something to them.

The last lesson number seven! we will review the material we have covered and take a look at the next step.

Exercises:

Call centre group in circle1. Think about a time you might have found yourself in when you were talking with someone and you realized that you had been talking "at cross purposes". They meant something completely different from what you thought they did? Think about how that happened and the consequences of it.

2. When you’re talking with people today, make a point of feeding back to them what they are saying to you. Don’t overdo it!

Especially ask for clarification with words or phrases they might use that are unfamiliar to you.

3. Go to a busy restaurant and listen closely to two people talking.

Observe whether their conversation is on the same track or whether they are having two or more different conversations!

If it’s two or more, ask yourself whether you do the same thing and if you do, what you can do to correct it.

Know yourself! Watch how you manifest the small things in life and think about how you felt inside with those things. Think about how easily they came. You will find that you thought of a small thing once and never thought about it again, and then it manifested.

What really happened was you didn’t think any thoughts or speak any words which contradicted what you wanted, so the law of attraction was able to do its work.

May the joy be with you, – Rhonda Byrne The Secret

I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats

Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama

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Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Mob:+44 7726591314
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