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REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Optimism

We can learn from our leaders of the past. Thomas Edison’s great optimism gives us a quintessential example of welcoming disaster. On a December night in 1914, fire broke out in the film room of Thomas Edison’s laboratory. As his assets were going up in smoke, it would seem that this sixty-seven-year-old man’s spirit would certainly be crushed. Instead he saw the fire and shouted to his son, “Where’s Mom? Go get her! Tell her to get her friends! They’ll never see a fire like this again!” Later, he said,

“You can always make capital out of disaster.
We’ve just cleared out a bunch of old rubbish.
We’ll build bigger and better on the ruins.”

Thomas Edison could not control the circumstances. Rather than being heartbroken to see his life’s work go up in flames, he chose to welcome the opportunity to start over. Edison, known for his overwhelming optimism, is an inspiration for us today.

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concert

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

Gray Lawrence

“The point is not to live without any regrets it is to not hate ourselves for having them..” Gray Lawrence

Introducing Getting Back to Happy: A Road map to a Happier, Simpler Life

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“You may avoid suffering and sorrow if you don’t risk, but you simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person, who risks nothing, does nothing and has nothing. Only a person who risks is free.” Bob Proctor

 

Marc & Angela Hack


Getting Back to Happy is the go-to course for anyone serious about taking action to reclaim their happiness and realize their potential. It will help you wake up every day and live with a full sense of purpose, even if you’ve tried everything else. If you’ve been wanting a way to work with Marc and me, this is it: It’s the result of a decade of study and one-on-one coaching with thousands of people just like you from all over the world. It’s a proven system that works time and time again to bust people out of long ruts and get them back on track to living a life they are excited about.

From proven ways to foster stronger relationships to actions engineered to help you let go of painful emotions, the learning modules in this course will inspire and equip you to become your best self.

But now you’re wondering what your life will look like after you complete the course, right? That’s the whole idea here—what YOU will come away with and how your life will change.

To start, here’s what some of our current Getting Back to Happy members told us:

  • “I haven’t felt this comfortable in my own skin since I was a kid, and I’m a better wife, mom, and friend because of it.”
  • “I love no longer being a slave to alcohol and food. Now with a clear mind I’m making real progress on a business idea I’ve had for years.”
  • “Not only can I clearly see where I want to go now, I know how to get there…and I’m getting there.”
  • “Your advice saved my marriage. I was an insecure, jealous fool and it almost tore us apart. Thank you.”
  • “I’ve made some real friends in the Getting Back to Happy community, and that’s incredible, because I think it’s crucial to have likeminded, supportive people in our lives.”
  • “For the first time in five years, I feel like ME.”

As you can tell, what each person gets out of Getting Back to Happy is unique and personal. The same will be true for you. But one thing is certain…

You will forever see your life in two parts: Before Getting Back to Happy, and After.


Other programs? Those old self-improvement books you’ve read? They didn’t work for you because they were filled with ideas that weren’t backed by time-tested action steps and a supportive community to push you forward when the going gets tough. So they were ultimately a step back. Back to hoping and dreaming and wishing for a fix. Back to the drawing board of “if only I could_____” and “maybe someday when_____.”

Does that sound about right? And maybe that has left you feeling doubtful, like this probably won’t work either. Like, “It might work for other people, but not me.”

We know how you feel. We were let down by other training programs and and self-improvement resources too. Time and time again, we put our hopes and money and energy into expensive courses, books, audio programs, and even live events that didn’t work out. Some provided decent insight, but all of those insights came with the assumption that we could somehow put them into action ourselves… rather than providing the tools, action steps, and support to actually do it.

This time is different, because Getting Back to Happy is different. It’s whole purpose is to rewire your brain so you feel the strength that’s already within you, and then, with a supportive community behind you, you’re able to take precise, life-changing action.

Getting Back to Happy will help you realize a world of possibilities. With the guidance and encouragement this course provides, you will:

  • Gain the clarity needed to understand life’s toughest situations along with the vision of how to get through them with confidence.
  • Escape the faulty logic and myths that hold you hostage from advancing on your goals with the energy and resolve that already lives inside you.
  • Simplify your everyday life, decluttering it of all the physical, emotional, and psychological baggage that holds you back and drags you down.
  • Become more well-rounded in your ability to diagnose your emotions and how to master them to make the most of any moment, anytime and anywhere.
  • Develop the instincts and skills to positively develop your most important relationships in a direction that fosters mutual respect, genuine affection, and lifelong trust.
  • Elevate your sense of purpose at home, at work, and in your community as your true self shines with greater self-worth, gratitude, and positivity.

 

“Anytime you blame others and complain about your situation, you are choosing to be a victim. By playing the victim role you are putting yourself in an ineffective and weak position. It is virtually impossible to allow incredible miracles to enter your life when you choose to remain in this negative mental state.” Sonia Ricotti Author and Speaker

 

The world Owes You Everything and nothing but your goal’s are your own decision Believe in your self – Gray Lawrence

Gray Lawrence

Utility Warehouse Distributor

Winning in life is more than just money; it is about winning on the inside and knowing that you have played the game of life with all you had, and then some!

Be Inspired by Mary O’Malley

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“Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the Universe is endlessly bountiful, Just pit forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart desires must come to you” – Shakti Gawain

 

How to Embrace the Holy Mess Of Your Life

Mary O'MalleyI have had a plaque on my fireplace for a long time by artist Kelly Rae Roberts which says, “Kindness Changes Everything”. A friend of mine recently sent me another one of Kelly Rae’s inspirational quotes, “Embrace the imperfections, the chaos, the HOLY MESS of your BEAUTIFUL life”.  I love both of these sayings because they are all about the heart. While most people try to get rid of the uncomfortable stuff in their lives, true healing is about allowing our imperfections and chaos to float into our hearts. How do we do this? By embracing it all with kindness.

Holy Mess Kelly Rae RobertsCarl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist, was one of the first people who said a human being is a community. Within this community, we have parts that we like, and then we have the parts we don’t like. The parts we don’t like I call spells, such as fear, despair, anger, sadness, and grief. And in our community, the unlikable parts are at war with one another or we are at war with them. We try to hold onto the parts we think are okay, and push away the parts we don’t like. And this is true suffering. Let’s say you don’t like a body part, such as your thumb.  Maybe you don’t like the size or shape of your thumb. Would cutting it off make you happier? Of course not, and you certainly would be able to do a lot less. This is what we do in life. We cut this out and that out, trying to get to a better state, but it is an endless game.

True healing is about turning toward and making space for whatever is showing up in our lives. It is about befriending, keeping company with, allowing, honouring, respecting, acknowledging, and developing a relationship with all of these parts we don’t like or what Kelly Rae calls “the holy mess.” It is about noticing what is here right now when the mind goes into its struggle mode and tightens our bodies.

When this happens to me, I touch it with my heart by first asking, “Okay, what is it that you don’t want to explore in this moment?” and then I say to the scared one inside of me, “Oh this is what life is offering. This is what is passing through right now. No need to push it away, you belong here.”

I have a new mantra that helps me bring kindness into my heart, “Striving…Arriving.” I say “Striving” on the in-breath and then on a long, slow, out-breath, I say “Arriving.” Striving is the mind that is busy liking, disliking, and turning life into a problem. It has spent its whole life trying to manage this and that, and it is always fixing, changing, or rearranging everything it doesn’t like. I don’t judge this busy mind or try to make it bad or wrong for striving because this is what it learned to do when it was very young. We have given our minds a task that it was never meant to do, and that is, being in charge of life. But, the mind is not in charge. Life is in charge of Life and what it is offering is trustable (but not always likable). Most people don’t truly experience Life because they are too busy trying to control it.

The second part of the mantra, “Arriving,” is about being open to life. Arriving is what we long for. How do we arrive? By getting to know the fear-based mind and by showing it kindness and compassion. My practice of “Arriving” is about acknowledging the waves of sadness, grief, pain and anger that are passing through. I do this by talking to my scared one, or rubbing my heart, or just acknowledging that my scared one is here by saying, “I see you.” By giving her the attention and love she so desperately needs, I have fallen more in love with this crazy, neurotic, easily-overwhelmed, separate mess of a self than I ever have been.  When I touch her with my heart, she just lets go and relaxes back into life.

What would happen if, when your mind gets activated and your body is tight, you really knew that it is safe to let go into the process?  The next time you feel this way, make some time to become quiet and start to get to know your sacred mess, your beautiful mess, your holy mess. Do it all with kindness. Then, let go and let life. Notice how you feel afterward.

Image by Artist Kelly Rae Roberts

Mary O’Malley

Array

Mary O’Malley is an author and counselor in Kirkland, Washington. In the early 1970’s, a powerful awakening set Mary on the path to changing her whole relationship with the challenges of life, freeing herself from a lifelong struggle with darkness. Since that time, Mary has taught extensively throughout the United States, Canada and Denmark. She is an inspirational speaker who leads retreats that transform people’s lives, provides individual counseling, and offers ongoing groups where people can come together to experience the miracle of Awakening. Her strengths lie in her ability to be fully present in the moment, integrating information, technique and insight with simplicity and compassion. Mary is committed to helping people heal their inner wars, so they can become a part of the healing of our planet. She does so by drawing on her own life experience to facilitate healing and awakening in a compassionate and powerful way. Mary’s books, which are endorsed by Eckhart Tolle and Neale Donald Walsch, include: What’s In the Way IS the Way: Moving Beyond Your Struggle into the Joy of Being Fully Alive; The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing; Belonging to Life: The Journey of Awakening; and The Magical Forest of Aliveness: A Tale of Awakening.

For more information, please visit maryomalley.com.

 

It is important to remember that it is your thoughts and feelings together that create with the law of attraction, and you cannot separate them. Also remember that it’s your feelings that are summing up your overall frequency and telling you what you are creating in this moment. So how are you feeling right now? Could you feel better? Well then, do what it takes right now to feel better. Rhonda Byrne The Secret  & the Power

 

Your Vision of the future, lies from within

Gray Lawrence
Independent Distributor (UW)

The Greatest leaders of the world were men and women of quick decision -Napoleon Hill

Successful Networker be Inspired by Becca Robison

 

From The Secret Daily Teachings

It is so important that you are grateful for everything in your life. Many people focus on the one thing they want and then forget to be grateful for all the things they have. Without gratitude you cannot achieve anything through the law of attraction, because if you are not emanating gratitude from your being, then by default you are emanating ungratefulness. Be proactive and use the frequency of your being to receive what you want. May the joy be with you,                    Rhonda Byrne

 

Are You Willing to TRY?

 

Becca_RobisonI am often asked what made me able to accomplish the things I have at my age. My answer is simple. I was willing to try.

I’m a regular teenager. I wouldn’t consider myself gifted, special, or anything else. I’m just someone who thinks “I can.” Sometimes that is all it takes.

I have done lectures and workshops for young people all over the country and the greatest ideas I’ve heard have come from other youth. Sometimes those great ideas never take flight because the kids who came up with them are looking at all the reasons they can’t make it happen instead of all the reasons they can! Thinking that you “can” will soon turn into believing that you “can.”

And once you believe it – it will begin to happen for you. There are emotional, physical and financial resources available for kids who want to do something great for their communities. Volunteers and mentors are out there who share your dream and are willing to step up and help. They are just looking for someone with a vision.

I know as kids we say “when I grow up I want to be…” I’m here to say, START NOW! You don’t have to wait until you grow up to make a difference in this world. And isn’t that what we all want to do? Make the world a better place? I believe with all my heart that we design our own futures.

Ask, Believe, Receive – just three simple steps to create what you want. However, very often the second step, believe, can be the most difficult one. And yet it is the greatest step you will ever take. When you master believing, you have mastered your life.                                                              To master believing, all you have to do is tip the balance of your thoughts, words, and actions, from ‘not believing’ to believing. The ONLY thing that can ever get in the way of manifesting what you want, is having more thoughts of ‘not believing’, speaking more words of ‘not believing’, and taking more actions of ‘not believing’, than you are of believing. Base the majority of your thoughts, words, and actions in believing, and the law of attraction must obey you.

Believing contains no doubt. Believing does not waiver. Believing is absolute faith. Believing remains steadfast despite what is happening in the outside world.

Rhonda Byrne

We have the power to make things happen for ourselves. Some worry that someone won’t “let” them do what they want to do. Do your research, show people why you can. You don’t need permission from anyone but yourself to step up and make a difference. If you believe in yourself, and your abilities, others will too. Your passion and belief in yourself will bring the resources and support you need to make it happen.

I’m not saying that there won’t be a few roadblocks. One of mine included a rare and aggressive bone tumour! But drawing from the lessons I had learned starting a non-profit as a pre-teen, I found the strength to realize that even that setback was temporary. It was vital to me to get back to my projects as soon as possible because it helped me see myself as whole again, even if it was from a wheelchair at first. Now I’m back on my feet, walking without assistance.

We all have heard the old saying “keep your eye on the prize.” That works for me. I know what the end result is that I want, and I believe it can happen. That has brought me results every time.

Don’t wait to be asked. Be the person who ACTS. You know you have it in you. As I said before, all it takes to make a difference in your community, your country and your world is to be the person who is willing to try. After that, everything else falls into place.

Everything comes if a man will only wait. I have brought myself by long meditation to the conviction that a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfilment. Benjamin Disraeli

 

Gray Lawrence 

Successful & Ambitious Networker

Your vision is in Your Mind

Successful Networker Enrich The Power of Luck

Happy people never quit
Good at the beginning

…is another word for lucky. Someone needs to get lucky, and it might even be you, but luck is not a strategy.

Kids attitudeBecoming good in the long run, that’s the result of effort and tenacity and smart practice.

Not just the individual, the kid who doesn’t learn to walk the first day, or the violinist who doesn’t win a competition at the age of eight, but organizations and their projects as well.

The people who are good in the long run fail a lot, especially at the beginning. So, when you fail early, it might be worth realizing that this is part of the deal, the price you pay for being good in the long run.

Every rejection is a gift. A chance to learn and to do it better next time. An opportunity to figure out how to bounce, not break. Don’t waste them.

Sometimes, getting lucky at the start means that you fail to learn resilience and tenacity, and you lack the tools to get better. The long run is a lot longer than the start is.

Embracing the power user

Zipf’s law applies to more than just the letters in the alphabet. In just about every system and every market, a power law is in force.

Heavy users make markets work. There are a few people who eat out every night, or go to 30 Broadway shows a year, or send 200 greeting cards annually or buy $100,000 worth of jewellery at a shot. There are people who tweet every three minutes, individuals who work to have tens of thousands of Facebook fans or work overtime to be the top of the heap at door-to-door selling.

This is a given. Your power users will account for a disproportionate amount of your usage and attention.

The question is this: Is your project organized so that it benefits from the power users? (And so it benefits them in return?)

In the case of Broadway shows, not at all. Frequent ticket buyers do nothing at all to help the marketing or impact of a typical show. On the other hand, Twitter is designed from the ground up to grow as their power users push it forward. Wikipedia thrives on the work of just 5,000 power editors. eBay grew because just a few thousand home businesses used it as a platform to bring in millions of buyers.

Power users can pay you more or they can build infrastructure, or they can do outreach for you. The challenge is in finding them, embracing them and giving them tools to accomplish their goals as you reach yours.

Get rich (quick)

Enrich your world by creating value for others.

Enrich your health by walking twenty minutes a day.

Enrich your community by contributing to someone, without keeping score.

Enrich your relationships by saying what needs to be said.

Enrich your standing by trusting someone else.

Enrich your organization by doing more than you’re asked.

Enrich your skills by learning something new, something scary.

Enrich your productivity by rejecting false shortcuts.

Enrich your peace of mind by being trusted.

The connection economy pays dividends in ways that the industrial one rarely did.

"I didn’t have time"

This actually means, "it wasn’t important enough." It wasn’t a high priority, fun, distracting, profitable or urgent enough to make it to the top of the list.

Every few days, Twitter and Facebook soak up a billion hours of ‘spare’ time. Where did that time come from? What did we do before social media was here? Weren’t we busy five years ago?

Running out of time is mostly a euphemism, and the smart analyst realizes that it’s a message about something else. Time is finite, but, unlike money, time is also replenished every second.

The people you’re trying to reach are always recalibrating which meetings they go to, which shows they watch, which books they don’t read. The solution has nothing to do with giving people more time (you can’t) and everything to do with creating more urgency, more of an itch, more desire.

Taking your time doesn’t scale

When you send a hand-written letter to your best friend on the occasion of her wedding, you don’t rush the note.

When a long-term patient needs to hear your plan on how she will beat the cancer you just found, you don’t rush the meeting.

When your best customer just discovered that his critical shipment is totally messed up, you don’t rush the phone call.

The problem is this: we’ve scaled the number of contacts, of patients, of Christmas card recipients, of Twitter followers, of email correspondents, of investors, of backers, of Kick-starter supporters, of readers, of correspondents, of co-workers, of… we’ve scaled it all.

And the one thing we can’t do is scale our ability to take time.

So, this year, when you sent out 500 cards, of course you didn’t take the time to handwrite each one with a personal note. How could you? And recently, when you sent a blast to 500 donors announcing a matching grant, you didn’t personalize each note and leave out the people you told personally, because, hey, it’s a huge list… how could you?

Treat different people differently. You decided to get bigger, but you won’t be able to treat everyone the way you used to. That was your decision, and it’s one of the costs of bigger.

Treating different people differently is the only way you’ve got to be able to take your time with the few, because, alas, you can no longer take your time with everyone. And if you can’t live with that, get smaller!

The most difficult work many professionals do…

is getting someone else to agree with their point of view and take action.

The second most difficult work professionals do is developing a point of view in the first place.

All boats leak

There’s always a defect, always a slow drip, somewhere. Every plan, every organization, every venture has a glitch.

The question isn’t, "is this perfect?" The question is, "will this get me there?"

Sometimes we make the mistake of ignoring the big leaks, the ones that threaten our journey.

More often, though, we’re so busy fixing tiny leaks that we get distracted from the real goal, which is to go somewhere.

You already have permission

Just saying.

You have permission to create, to speak up, and stand up.

You have permission to be generous, to fail, and to be vulnerable.

You have permission to own your words, to matter and to help.

No need to wait.

The perfect day going to bed with a dream and waking up with a purposeMost likely to succeed

"Succeed" is in the eye of the beholder…

Most likely to hit a home run    Most likely to please my boss

Most likely to do the work  Most likely to work for free

Most likely to stick it out   Most likely to change everything

Most likely to be trustworthy  Most likely to attract attention

Most likely to be invisible  Most likely to be worth it

It’s not about you

Right in the front row, not four feet from Christian McBride, was every performer’s bête noire. I don’t know why she came to the Blue Note, maybe it was to make her date happy. But she was yawning, checking her watch, looking around the room, fiddling with this and that, doing everything except being engaged in the music.

McBride seemed to be too professional and too experienced to get brought down by her disrespect and disengagement. Here’s what he knew: It wasn’t about him, it wasn’t about the music, it wasn’t a response to what he was creating.

Haters are going to hate.

  • Shun the non-believers.

Do your work, your best work, the work that matters to you. For some people, you can say, "hey, it’s not for you." That’s okay. If you try to delight the undelightable, you’ve made yourself miserable for no reason.

It’s sort of silly to make yourself miserable, but at least you ought to reserve it for times when you have a good reason.

Gray Lawrence

Successful Networker

It’s not the way the wind blows, its how you set your sails. — Unknown

 

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Gray Lawrence

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Skype: graynat71

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