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Forgiveness by Seth Godin

PMA Added…  Wise Words  “Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?”                               -Mary Manin Morrissey,

 

Forgiveness by Seth Godin

Has anyone ever said or done anything unforgiveable to you?  Something so awful you know you can never forgive them?

Probably this strikes a bell with most of my readers.  It would certainly be rare to find someone who has never been mistreated, never misunderstood, never abused in one way or another.  In some cases the abuse may have been particularly nasty.  Something you would much rather forget, but find you cannot.

Does this person deserve your forgiveness?  Probably not.  Should you forgive them?  Absolutely!

Why do I say this?  If they don’t deserve your forgiveness, why should you forgive them?  Am I trying to turn you into a saint or something?

No.  I am not saying this to make you a "goody goody".  And I am certainly not suggesting you should allow anyone to take advantage of you.  So why I am saying it?

The reason is that I believe you deserve to be free.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be able to do whatever you wish in life and not be weighed down carrying a load dumped on you by someone else.

If there is anyone you have not forgiven for what they have done or said to you this means you are allowing that person to control your life.  You are giving them the ultimate victory over you.  Is that what you want?  If not, you simply have to find a way to forgive them.

Some of you may now be saying "it’s all very well for you to say that, but you don’t know how I have suffered!  You cannot understand just how bad this was!"

I agree I cannot know what it is like to suffer in the way you may have suffered.  To use a common Christian saying, we each have our own cross to bear.  The one you are bearing may be far heavier than mine.  But even though I cannot understand just how bad it was for you, what I do understand is that you are now carrying an unnecessary burden.  Just like "Christian" in John Bunyan’s "Pilgrim’s Progress".  Christian was carrying a burden so heavy he could hardly move.  So are you if there is someone you have not forgiven.  Your happiness is marred because every so often you think of this unforgiveable thing that was done to you and it spoils what would otherwise be a lovely moment in a lovely day.  Why not simply throw that burden away?  It is not stuck to you with superglue.  You have chosen to carry it.  Now you should choose to throw it away.

There may be others who will say "but there is nobody I haven’t forgiven!  Nobody has done anything particularly bad to me!"  If so, you are very fortunate!  But I would suggest there are probably some slights, some grievances, some humiliations that your conscious mind has forgotten but are still bubbling away somewhere under the surface.  You do not feel desperately unhappy, but because there are some unforgiving words and actions loitering in your unconscious mind what could be a really happy moment is, instead, just mildly pleasant.  These unforgiving things are stopping you reaching your full potential.  They are controlling you.

Would you like to free yourself of this burden?  Great!

The first thing you must do is find all the actions and words you have not yet forgiven.  Some may be easy to find.  Others will be hiding under the surface.  Sit quietly and let them come to you.

Now, for each unforgiving act or word find the person.  Picture that person in ,your mind.  Say to them "I forgive you".  At first you will probably feel silly. But don’t worry about that.  Nobody is watching you.  Nobody is laughing at you.  This is something you are doing for yourself so you can be happier.

As you do this you will find a part of your mind will tell you that this person does not deserve your forgiveness.  You can immediately dispel that thought by saying "they may not deserve it, but I am forgiving them for me, not for them!"  This other part of your mind may say it was totally wrong of them to do this to you.  Respond by saying "I am not the one who will judge them for it, and I am not asking them or anyone else to do this again to me, I am just letting go so this act no longer controls me.  I forgive!"

If you are a Christian you should remember the phrase in the Lord’s Prayer "Forgive me my wrongdoings as I forgive those who have done wrong to me"?  Whether or not you are a Christian this is a phrase I would like you to remember and use.  When you forgive others you will find that forgiveness of yourself comes quite naturally too.  But give it a helping hand anyway.  Add your own wrongdoings now.  See them clearly and then forgive yourself.  As long as you have forgiven others you should find you are now able to forgive yourself.  When you do you really should find you feel light and buoyant.  You have let go of your burden.

Try to perform this act of forgiveness every day.  I suggest you do it last thing at night before you go to sleep, as you should find your sleep will then be that much more refreshing.  Try it, let go, don’t allow anyone to control you any more and see just how much difference this makes in your life!

Gray Lawrence

Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes" Peter Drucker

My own thought’s knowledge is King and Inspiration to us all, less we ignore this.

To Love oneself

love is that micro moment of warmth and connection that you share with another living being

Love is the highest power we possess to be in complete harmony with the law of attraction. The more love we feel the greater our power. The more selfless love we feel, the more unfathomable our power. The law of attraction has been called the law of love, because the law itself is a gift of love to humanity. It is the law by which we can create incredible lives for ourselves. The more love we feel the greater our power to create a magnificent life of love, joy, and harmony. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Do you love yourself?  If not, why not?  If yes, how do you express that love?

You have probably heard the expression "charity begins at home".  Unfortunately it is frequently used just as an excuse to ignore help that people further from home really need.  But in essence it is true.  In the King James Bible, the word "charity" is an interpretation of the Greek word "agape", and it really means unselfish love.  A love that just keeps giving without needing anything in return.  Compassion.  It certainly does not mean paying some money to a worthy concern and then considering you have done your duty and do not need to be compassionate.

Uplift yourself from the lower self, even as an elephant draws himself up from a muddy swamp.- The Dhammapada

So let’s rephrase.  "Love begins at home".  In fact, love begins with loving yourself.  If you do not love yourself you will find it very difficult to love others.  Conversely, if you truly love yourself you will find you begin to create room to love others, beginning with those around you and expanding to the point where you love the entire universe.

I am not talking here about narcissism.  I am talking about true love as contained in the word "agape".  A love that is committed to the well-being of its object.  If you are interested at all in personal development, this is the starting point.  You have to be committed to your own true well-being.  This really encompasses everything.  You will not abuse your body or your mind or your spirit, because you love them and wish them to be developed in the best possible way.  The mormons in particular talk about recognizing your body as a temple, as do most other Christians.  Treat it with respect.  Look after it.  Love it.  Do this and it will serve you well.  The same goes for your mind and your spirit.  Develop it.  Cherish it.

Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; Knock, and it shall be open unto you, For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be open.- Mathew 7:7-8

When you love someone you probably give them treats.  If you are married, can you remember what you did when you first went out with your spouse?  Did you give unexpected gifts?  Not just on birthdays and anniversaries and at Christmas, but at unexpected times?  Remember the pleasure that gave you as well as the pleasure it gave your spouse?  Do the same to yourself.  Give yourself treats.  Not all the time of course.  I am not encouraging you to be self-indulgent.  But get into the habit of treating yourself every so often.

You also need to spend time alone with the one you love rather than only ever being with them in a crowd.  Do the same for yourself.  Have "me" time.  I suggest you do this every day for at least a few minutes, and for much longer at least once a week.  Even an occasional full day of "me" time.  What do I mean by "me" time?  I cannot really answer that, as it will depend entirely on you.  It means different things to different people.  If you don’t know the answer then that means you are certainly not spending enough time on yourself and must learn to love yourself more.

You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind." – Darwin P. Kingsley

As you learn to love yourself more, and practise doing what you have learned, you will begin to see how you should love others more.  And so your self love will begin to blossom as love for others.

I suggest you incorporate both self love and love for others in a daily meditation practice.  Begin by feeling every bit of your body and start to feel love for it.  Feel a sphere extending from your centre and encompassing your whole body.  Then, as you become comfortable with this, expand this sphere so it includes your whole house and everything and everyone within it.  Keep centred and expand that sphere again.  Now it includes all your friends and relatives.  Expand it again to include all those you work with and those you have fleeting contact with.  Keep expanding, so it now includes people you have never met, people all over the world.  Feel deep compassion for them.  Then expand again so it includes not just all the people in the world but also the world itself and everything within it.  Now recognize that you are star dust (yes, you really are!) – so expand your love to include the whole universe of stars and of everything that has come from those stars.

Every event that you chose for your life, no matter how destructive, chaotic or miserable it may seem, has been allowed to manifest because your Wholeness has an innate knowledge of those things you need to get you to the place where you will chose to sink deep within, into the stillness of who you are. – Bartholamew

Love is a two way street, even if sometimes it does not seem to be.  Yes, there will be times when your unconditional love is not returned to you by the object of your love, but it will still be returned to you from somewhere.  As you start loving yourself and then expanding outwards until that love encompasses the entire universe, so the universe will return that love to you.  This will happen gradually and not necessarily in very obvious ways, but happen it will.

So, beginning today, practice self love, expand it, and love the entire universe.  I think you will be surprised by what will start to happen in your life when you do this!

Through the harmony and ultimately the balance of the feminine energy, of that goddess energy, you will unlock the Vortex of Power that lies within. – Lazaris

Gray Lawrence

You are a vast, brilliant, extending, creative energy field that exploded out of the Heart of the One and delighting in its journey home. -Bartholamew

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Gray Lawrence

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