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Archive for May, 2016

The Power of Negative Thinking Oprah Winfrey

 

PMA ADDED!

Think healthy; happy thoughts. Imagine yourself as healthy. Decide that your good health is your birth right and that you deserve to be healthy. Above all, be gentle on yourself. Accept and love yourself where you are right now. – Andrew Matthews

If you are serious about changing your life, Get serious about changing what surrounds you. – Andrew Matthews

 

By Tim Jarvis
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the March 2009 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

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Illustration: Jorge Columbo

Cheer up. Be happy. Find the silver lining. Smile.
If you didn’t know any better, you might say we’re a country that preaches optimism. But some 30 to 35 percent of Americans employ a calculated form of negative thinking—called defensive pessimism—that can lead to very positive results, according to Julie K. Norem, PhD, a professor of psychology at Wellesley College.


We’re not talking about a general disposition to see the glass half-empty: "Defensive pessimism is a strategy used in specific situations to manage anxiety, fear, and worry," says Norem, who has conducted seminal research on the subject. "Defensive pessimists," she says, "prepare for a situation by setting low expectations for themselves, then follow up with a very detailed assessment of everything that may go wrong." Once they’ve imagined the full range of bad outcomes, they start figuring out how they’ll handle them, and that gives them a sense of control.

"What’s intriguing about defensive pessimists," adds Lawrence Sanna, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, who has also studied the phenomenon, "is that they tend to be very successful people, and so their low opinion of the outcome isn’t realistic; they use it to motivate themselves to perform better." For example, an executive is getting ready to pitch a project, and she thinks beforehand, "The client is going to be really difficult; he’s not going to like my proposal. I have to make sure I explain things very clearly." "She uses defensive pessimism as a tool to work through all the possibilities so she’s prepared for everything, even failure," Sanna says. "And if she does fail, she’s ready for it, so it’s not so catastrophic."

If all this sounds familiar (

take the quiz to see if you use defensive pessimism), a piece of advice from the experts may give you a lift: Don’t listen to appeals from friends or family to look on the bright side. "Research shows that if you pressure defensive pessimists into being optimistic, or try to manipulate their mood, their performance deteriorates," says Andrew J. Elliot, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. One of the most frequent comments Norem got after publishing The Positive Power of Negative Thinking in 2001 was "Thank you. I can finally tell my mother to shut up."

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. EEleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor (UW)

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

Follow the Leader

Your thoughts, and their amazing significance and impact on your life, are the only things that you can control absolutely and consistently."                   Dr. Steve G. Jones

"We have the ability to impact and change our vibrations on a personal level to bring about change in our lives and the lives of others." Frank Mangano

Follow the leader

Leadership lesson 8 stand guard at the door of your mindWe all have been told, (at least I have) how important events are to not only get the information, but it is vitally important to associate with the leaders and future leaders that will help propel your business to the next level.

What qualities do we know leaders have that we want to follow to become leaders ourselves? That is a very important question to ask yourself! A leader must be a servant and a debtor. His first responsibility is to define reality and then say thank you.

Even if you don’t see yourself as a leader right now, that is where you want to be in order to create your dreams. First be a leader that leads yourself and your family.

There are only two tools available to the educator. The easy one is fear. Fear is easy to awake, easy to maintain, but ultimately toxic. Other tool is passion.

Greatness is frightening. With it comes responsibility- Seth Godin

Here is a list to start you off:

  • Leaders are great followers as they followed great leaders to become leaders themselves Find the person that you can most learn from even if you are not sure you can fill their shoes. At first you will not be able to, but who do you think you can learn the most from? (Every great leader has someone he has looked up to and learned from)
  • Leaders are plugged in By being plugged in to the events, the calls the community you can always have your finger on what is happening in your business. (attends events both the ones nearby and the ones that require travel)
  • Leaders lead by example Your team is only as good as what you yourself do, even if they cannot always see you. I always thought that was interesting but it was uncanny, if I was off, so was my team, if I was hot so was my team. (he never expects of others what he wouldn’t do himself)
  • Leaders take responsibility We never blame others for things we did or others did. Its still up to us what we do after something happens, blame doesn’t have anything to do with it. (he doesn’t ever waste time playing the blame game)
  • Leaders have integrity This is a word many have not learned but is so key today. Its more than just being honest, its the core of your being. (he knows the trust he builds with others is built on his own character and integrity)
  • Leaders make themselves available This one is really a big one for me. If we do not help and support our team members what do we have. Its not about showing off but showing how. (He sees himself as a leader and helper)
  • Leaders have charisma (confidence and posture) He never hangs his success on anyone certain individual. It is the pure just knowing where you are going which is so powerful!
  • Leaders never quit. (If he fails temporarily he simply looks at it from another angle and keeps on going! Its the ability to get back up and keep going that makes the leaders so attractive to others.

Sure you are going to get new tools and definitely encouragement and new belief. But I believe the most important thing is to pay attention to the pattern that leaders set and follow those patterns.

 

Look for every opportunity to go the extra mile. That’s how you become extra special…and extra successful. — Steve Ventura

Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking. — Bernard M. Baruch

Success doesn’t come to you – you go to it. — Marva Collins

I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got. — Walter Cronkite

The Power is from within, the choice is yours
Gray Lawrence
Independent Distributor (UW)

"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

Time for jokes sent by Friends, Honest!!

Subject: FW: A Story you will enjoy
Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing.  He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area".
The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional.  And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way."  So he continued on his way.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky.  The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.  The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting.  I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.  And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
And the practice is unbroken to this date…

 

Your Vision of the future, lies from within

Gray Lawrence

Utility Warehouse Distributor

The greatest freedom is to be responsible. –Lazaris

A Positive Story for YOU! From Karina in California

 

PMA Added only!

Don’t blame children who are bad. Blame those who failed to discipline them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once observed, “Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.” Although children doubtless do not recognize it at the time, they crave discipline, particularly during their formative years. Discipline defines boundaries for them, provides security, and is an active expression of a parent’s love. Most important, it prepares them for the challenges of adulthood. If your childhood was less than perfect, you are in good company. Most of us have experienced difficulties at one time or another, and we all make mistakes from time to time. The good news is that while your environment as a child will have a profound influence upon the person you become, it is not the sole determinant. The person you choose to be is entirely up to you. Only you can decide who and what you will become in life. Napoleon Hill

I Loved Myself For The First Time  Karina in California

An Inspirational Story, look deep inside yourself while reading this passage

There is one power within you that is stronger than any other power. This power is the Supreme Power! When you use this power it will dissolve all chaos, it will wipe out all negativity, and it will cut through every single situation, unfailingly. Any situation of negativity in your life is simply the absence of this one almighty power. You can rely on it to obliterate every negative thing, because nothing can stand up against it. You can use it on yourself or anyone else, and the more you use it, the more powerful it becomes. You have an unlimited source of this power, which is the most magnetic substance in the entire Universe…

This Supreme Power within you is Love. Send it outwards, send it inwards, and then stand back and watch what happens to your life…

From Karina in California – ‘I Love Myself For The First Time’

I sit here in tears of joy!

I don’t remember how I attracted The Secret to me… I know I wanted to buy it for my sister and a friend for Christmas so they could "find themselves", and I ended up getting one for me and just started reading it. Not realizing that I was the one who needed to find myself.

My husband and I had decided that having me stay home to take care of the kids was better for them. Loved the first few months, but then I started devaluing myself, feeling depressed, unappreciated. By then I had started watching my niece, so I had two toddlers to take care of and an 8 year old. My niece and son started being so bad, my son was hitting, my niece would cry all day, and I was going insane! Depressed, hating my life, myself, and many times had thoughts of ending my life.

One night I was reading The Secret, the part about loving ourselves. I closed my eyes and saw myself hugging myself and loving me! Might sound weird, but that is how I visualized it. I cried, because I had never felt that much love for myself! I had always battled with weight issues. But I now love myself so much, and accept myself, and I shall ask and I shall receive!

The Secret has changed my life! I didn’t realize how much negative energy I have had around me all my life! And I cry to realize that my kids behaviour wasn’t them – it was me!! I was bringing all this negative energy around me and them!

Now they are the sweetest little angels, they listen, don’t hit, they only cry when they fall, etc. The relationship with my husband is better than ever, because when he compliments me I know it’s true. Before I wouldn’t believe, but now I know it is true!

I know this is just the beginning of my true life! I am thankful for all involved in making The Secret. It all makes sense now!

How True

The Power is from within
Gray Lawrence


"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

Afraid of failure?

“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”—Tallulah Bankhead 

  Afraid of Failure? Read the following steps

Steps to Break Down Failure

Have you ever felt like a failure? I totally have. But I am not alone.

There is an epidemic of feelings of failure in any country and failure is so definitive. When you think you failed, there is not much wiggle room to be anything other than “a failure.” A horrible way to see yourself! This becomes a belief ingrained and tainting everything else we do and try. Here are four ways to break it down.

A. Lower Your Expectations

Failure is in relation to something. Usually some standard or expectation that was not met: I am not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough. Having unreasonable expectations is more detrimental on our health than anything else. It brings in judgment, which compounds every other problem we already have.

When we have a feeling which is appropriate to the situation, and then we judge ourselves, then we worry! the problem becomes so much bigger and harder to recover from. Then, we berate ourselves for not recovering quickly with another layer of judgment. The original feeling is nothing compared to the complex mess and layers of our own judgement and fear.

Do not add them. Allow yourself to feel and do not worry, you can handle it. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself, lower those outrageous expectations! Instead of dwelling, do something. Seek a “Mentor with a Servant’s Heart”

  B. Know there is a point to trying

Past feelings of failure attempt to take away our point to trying to feel better or accomplish something. We get convinced that we will fail anyway. We assume trying hard will make us more disappointed when we do actually fail, and so we put less effort in in hopes to protect our heart. With less effort, we may actually not achieve our goal and we can say “See? I always fail. Good thing I did not try.”

The point is “Rarely is anything accomplished without trying” And if we try and don’t succeed, our heart actually feels better, not worse. We build confidence knowing that we did our best. We feel empowered because we can respond to things in life. This is giving in to your fears

  C. Notice your accomplishment

Simple. See the good in you instead of the bad. Focus on something else beside that one standard you missed. Have confidence in the efforts you did put forth. Notice other things you received from the process, a good example are  friends you’ve made along the journey and “ what you have  learned”  and how it made you grow. Remember all other accomplishments in your life. be positive

  D. Remember it is not over

We sometimes assume we failed too soon. Then we feel devastated and stop trying. If you are still alive, you could not have failed, since it is not over. Yes, your standards and expectation might change, but if you are still kicking, you cannot by definition be a failure. Readjust your expectations and try again ALWAYS -  Never Give up!!!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can……. I can, I can!

 

Foot note for the winner in you.

Your dreams and desires to win are down to you and no one else… If no one is listening find those that will, live the life you desire with those that have trodden the path before.  Then teach those who sit in your wake.

Be the person you wish to be & leave negative in the slow lane.

When you realise you are a winner and find the next gear be ready for what awaits you.  Perhaps you are ready and now & looking for the opportunity to work for yourself  so you can help those less fortunate, with their own mental attitude, be the teacher & TEACH.  See the book available on “Are You Walking Past a Fortune

The road is paved with GOLD just open the right door in your mind and take the first step.  Gray

Study those who failed and failed again, then “WON” that came before you read the right books:  “The Secret & The Power” by Rhonda Byrne: Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, to name but a few..

 

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”—Walt Disney

 

The Power is from within, the choice is yours
Gray Lawrence
Independent Distributor(UW)

"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

 

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Contact Information
Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Ph: +44 1522 691508
Mob:+44 7726591314
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