You can’t control others’ acts, but you can control your reaction to their acts, and that is what counts most to you.
No one can make you feel any negative emotion — fear, anger, or inferiority — without your express permission. There will always be people who find perverse enjoyment in upsetting others, or who simply play upon your emotions so that they can use you for their own selfish purposes. Whether or not they are successful depends entirely upon you and how you react to their negative behaviours. When you are forced to deal with such people, recognize from the outset that they are trying to upset you, not because of something you may have done to them, but because of some problem they have with themselves. Tell yourself, “This isn’t about me. I will not allow this person to upset me. I am in control of my emotions and my life.” Napoleon Hill
The Importance of Feedback
Today, we look at the 4th Principle and a very important part of the Natural Selling Approach.
The fourth Principle Feeding Back What You Think You Heard
To ensure continual understanding, feeding back or clarifying what you think you heard, is something you will learn to do on a constant basis throughout your dialogue, making sure that you’re on the right track, using phrases like…
"Let me repeat that to make sure I understand what you’re saying" or * "Would you go over that again to make sure I understand…?"
Don’t take anything for granted as you progress.
If you don’t understand something, ask for it to be repeated.
Think about the saying; "I know you think you know what I said but what I said is not what I really meant!"
Also, summarizing what you think you heard gives the other person the opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Words and phrases can often mean different things to different people.
Remember, we are all individuals and we each have our own view of the world!
A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion.. This is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds and you will know too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons. From the book Illusions.
The ultimate feedback is at the end of your conversation when you are presenting your solution. This is the time when you are in a position to summarize what a person has, what they are looking for and why they want it and how you can help them get it by offering your solution. If you feedback, recap and present this based on everything they told you, you will have truly demonstrated a complete understanding.
And people love people who understand them. It’s extraordinary what people will tell you if you listen to them. Why? Because you’ll be one in a million who does listen, and if you do it with love and care, you become a very valuable person.
In fact, you create value in you and everything you represent with your ability to ask questions, listen and feedback.
The point is that by not focusing on selling your solutions services, but focusing on discovering and understanding problems and getting behind them first, to see whether you can help, and whether the other person is prepared to be helped, you will both see people’s challenges more clearly.
As well, when you understand what a person is really looking for and why they want it you will be able to customize your solution and present it so that it personally means something to them.
The last lesson number seven! we will review the material we have covered and take a look at the next step.
1. Think about a time you might have found yourself in when you were talking with someone and you realized that you had been talking "at cross purposes". They meant something completely different from what you thought they did? Think about how that happened and the consequences of it.
2. When you’re talking with people today, make a point of feeding back to them what they are saying to you. Don’t overdo it!
Especially ask for clarification with words or phrases they might use that are unfamiliar to you.
3. Go to a busy restaurant and listen closely to two people talking.
Observe whether their conversation is on the same track or whether they are having two or more different conversations!
If it’s two or more, ask yourself whether you do the same thing and if you do, what you can do to correct it.
Know yourself! Watch how you manifest the small things in life and think about how you felt inside with those things. Think about how easily they came. You will find that you thought of a small thing once and never thought about it again, and then it manifested.
What really happened was you didn’t think any thoughts or speak any words which contradicted what you wanted, so the law of attraction was able to do its work.
May the joy be with you, – Rhonda Byrne The Secret
I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats
Gray Lawrence Successful Networker
Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama