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6 Things Happy People Never Do

PMA Added:

You just might be the miracle someone is looking for today.
Remember that every single moment has a miracle of possibility.
If I am present to the moment, something I know, something I can share, something I can give or some way I can presence love can actually bring a miracle in a moment that I am sharing with someone.
I encourage you to walk through this day remembering that you just might be the miracle someone is looking for today. Here’s To Miracles, Mary Morrissey

 

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

6 Things Happy People Never Do

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design into the present.

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savouring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.

But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions.  Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Those who accept you are your friends.  Those who don’t are your teachers.  If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true.  Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem.  What other people call you is their problem…

What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.

3.  Rely on other people and external events for happiness.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such.  Don’t let your happiness be held hostage.  It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.

As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.  Take full responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier.  Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy.  Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment, and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment you seek.

The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation.  Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you.  A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you like.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

4.  Hold on to resentment.

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past.  What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page.

We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go.

Forgiveness is the remedy.  It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

5.  Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.

You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.  So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.

When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK AWAY.  When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.

Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself.  Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts.  They are all lies.  They solve nothing.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

6.  Resist the truth.

It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth.  Lives come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.  If you resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night.  You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.

So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular.  It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one.  It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live.  Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

Your turn…

 

When we start looking at everything that might go wrong, we fear then to attempt.  Our opportunity today is to pay attention to any thoughts that could be vibrations of doubt and turn them into faith.  Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.  But not today.  Our doubts will not have their way with us today.  Our faith shall prevail.  To Your Prevailing Faith,  Mary Morrissey

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Gray Lawrence

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

PMA added: 

A positive mental attitude is an irresistible force that knows no such thing as an immovable body.
Time and again we hear stories about ordinary people who do seemingly impossible things when they find themselves in an emergency situation. They perform herculean feats of strength and endurance, things they never dreamed they were capable of doing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could harness that strength and make it available anytime you need it? You can — if you believe you can. No doubt you can remember a time in your life when you were exceptionally focused on your objective, a time when you achieved more in less time than ever before. Perhaps it was an impending vacation that motivated you to get everything done before you departed, or perhaps it was a “must pass” exam that helped you focus your concentration. The intensity that you developed in those situations is always available to you when you have a Positive Mental Attitude.       Napoleon Hill

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go

“The past has no power over the present moment.”
―Eckhart Tolle

There is great value in every act of forgiveness.  You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, and you can forgive even when you don’t know exactly who to forgive, because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is at fault.  It is about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has already happened, and that there’s no point in allowing it to dominate the rest of your life.  Forgiveness refreshingly cleans the slate and enables you to step forward.  Here are five unique ways to make this step possible:

1.  Stop trying for a while.

If you’re trying hard and haplessly making zero progress, stop trying.  Stop trying and start being.

When you see yourself as trying – to do something else or get somewhere else – you don’t interpret what you have and where you are as being good enough.  This perception of constantly trying makes living seem like an endless struggle.

There is great value within you right here, right now.  Allow it to come out, willingly and without a struggle.  Instead of trying to get to some other point in your life, give your full attention to doing your very best with the life you are living now.  Instead of believing that you are not there yet, be grateful that you are right where you are meant to be at this moment.

Yes, by all means set goals and take steps in the right direction, but don’t disregard the steps as you take them – these steps are your life’s story.  Let go of all the needless trying and let yourself take these steps peacefully and mindfully.  Let go of the judgments, forgive the past, and let this moment be as incredible as it is.  (This is something Angel and I discuss in the Adversity and Happiness chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Be the watcher of your thoughts and emotions.

In his best selling book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle tells us to be the watcher of our thoughts.  What he suggests is that instead of trying to change our thoughts – via gratitude or deliberate forgiveness, for example – we need to simply notice our thoughts without getting caught up in them.

You are ultimately the sole creator of your own feelings.  When negative thoughts arise based on past experiences or future worries, as they sometimes will, realize that these are simply issues your mind (not you) is working through.  Pause, be present and pay close attention.  Think about these thoughts and emotions consciously, almost as if you were a bystander looking in.  Separate yourself from your mind’s thinking.

Perhaps after you study your thoughts and emotions you will think to yourself, “Wow, am I really still working through that?”  And guess what?  Over time, your negative feelings and emotions will lessen and genuine awareness, love and acceptance will grow in their place.  You will begin to realize that your mind is just an instrument, and you are in control of your mind, not the other way around.

By not judging your thoughts or blaming them on anyone else, and merely watching them, there will be a big shift within you – your sense of self worth.

It’s not like you won’t get upset anymore or never feel anxious, but knowing that your thoughts and emotions are just fleeting feelings that are independent of YOU will help ease your tension and increase your positive presence, allowing you to forgive and let go.

3.  Love.

Feeling sorry for yourself and sabotaging the present moment with resentful thoughts of the past won’t make anything better.  Hurting someone else will never ease your own inner angst.

If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with someone else, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you.  Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life.

The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.

Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth.  There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them.  Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible.

If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain.  Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness.  Find the light.  Act out of love.  Do something that will enable you to move forward toward a more fulfilling reality.  There is always something good you can do.  There is always love to give.  Fill your heart with it and act in everyone’s best interest, especially your own.

4.  Seek positive revenge by living well.

Are you contemplating revenge?  You know that’s negative thinking getting the best of you.  However, there is a way to seek revenge positively.

How?  Forget about them.  Remember you.  Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others.  Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead.  If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your positive energy will attract more positive results into your current reality.

Be unlike the person or situation that hurt you.  Let go and grow past your pain.  Carry on living well in a way that creates peace in your heart.  The energy you would spend trying to get real revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself.

The bottom line is that the best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing a fresh smile on your face.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

5.  Let go of the need to forgive every mistake.

Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom.  Most of the time they just need to be accepted, not forgiven.

There is an obvious shift in your heart and mind that happens when you go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place.

To help you wrap your head around this concept, try to look at your situation from 40,000 feet.  Imagine a more seasoned, wiser and more compassionate version of yourself sitting at the mountaintop of life, looking down and watching as the younger minded, current version of you hacks your way through life.

You see yourself holding on to false beliefs and making epic errors of judgment as you manoeuvre through life’s many obstacles.  You watch the children of the world growing up in challenging times that test their sense of self-confidence, yet they push forward bravely.  You see the coming generation radiating with passion and love as they fail forward, learning through their mistakes.

And you have to wonder:  Would this wiser version of yourself conclude that everyone in their own unique way was doing their very best.  And if everyone is trying to do their best, what needs to be forgiven?  Not being perfect?

Perfection doesn’t exist.  Forgiveness is oftentimes the simple realization that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.

Your turn…

Who would you like to forgive?  What stressful burdens do you need to let go of and rise above? 

We will forget and forgive any judgment error that you make, but integrity mistakes are forever. — David Cottrell

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

Be Positive Inspired and motivate YOU!

 

Life is the sum of all our choices – Albert Camus

 

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Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor for Utility Warehouse

He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses his or her courage loses all.

Miguel de Cervantes

Be Inspired by Marci Shimoff

PMA Added only:

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life." Burton Hills

 

Where To Find Happiness

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Marci ShimoffI was 41 years old, stretched out on a lounge chair by my pool and reflecting on my life. I had achieved all that I thought I needed to be happy. I had a successful career that helped people, a loving husband, a comfortable home, a great body, and a wonderful circle of friends.

But surprisingly I wasn’t on top of the world. I felt an emptiness inside that the outer successes of life couldn’t fill. I was also afraid that if I lost any of those things, I might be miserable. Sadly, I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

While happiness is the one thing that we all truly want, so few people really experience the deep and lasting fulfilment that feeds our soul. Our Founding Fathers even guaranteed us the right to pursue happiness, so why aren’t we finding it?

Because we’re looking for happiness, in the words of the old country western song, in “all the wrong places.”

The culmination of my pursuit of happiness was when I discovered a state I call Happy for No Reason, a neurophysiologic state of inner peace and well-being that isn’t dependent on circumstances. I believe this is our essential state.

When you’re Happy for No Reason, you bring happiness to your everyday experiences rather than extract happiness from them. You don’t need to manipulate the world around you to try to make yourself happy. You live from happiness, rather than for it.

Most of us struggle to string together as many happy experiences as we can, like beads in a necklace, to create a happy life. We do our best to find just the right beads that will fulfil us. Being Happy for No Reason, in this analogy, is like having a happy string. No matter what beads we put on our necklace—good and not so good—our inner reality, the string that runs through them all, is happy, and we experience an unshakeable positive state inside.

So, how do we get there?

The only difference between happy and unhappy people is that they have different habits.One of the most prevalent habits that happy people share is believing that the universe is out to support them—that this is a friendly universe. When things don’t seem to be going their way, instead of feeling like victims, they look for the lesson and the gift in the situation. In other words, they believe there is a higher purpose that is supporting their ultimate good.

Practicing this one habit has made a huge difference in my own life. Try it yourself: The next time you face a challenge, take a moment to reflect silently, asking yourself, “If this were happening for a higher purpose, what would it be?” I’m certain that whatever answer you discover will be illuminating, but more importantly you’ll begin tapping into that state of inner peace and well-being on a regular basis.

Remember, when you’re Happy for No Reason, it’s not that your life always looks perfect—it’s that however it looks, you’ll still be happy!

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

Opportunities are never lost. . . . They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

Be Inspired by Lisa Cypers Kamen

PMA Added..

There is no past or future for the law of attraction, only the present, so stop referring to your life in the past as very difficult, or full of hardship and pain, or in any other negative way. Remember that the law only operates in the present, so when you speak of your past life negatively the law is receiving your words and sending those things back to you NOW. May the joy be with you, – Rhonda Byrne

5 Lessons for Happiness

 

Lisa Cypers KamenIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Here are a few of the best lessons I can happily share:

1. Life is tough

Agreed, life is filled with trials and tribulations. To say one is happy all the time is a lie. To know happiness is available at any time is a truth. Happiness will not wait for us. Happiness will not invite us to the party. We must invite ourselves to say, “yes”, diving deeply and happily into life… all of it… the ups, downs, twists and turns of our miraculous journey.

Happiness exists in tandem with adversity. Happiness waits in all the nooks and crannies to be embraced and celebrated …ready at any moment. True and lasting joy emanates from thoughts, feelings, perceptions, actions and choices supported by positive self-esteem that oozes worthiness.

2. Nobody can tell us what makes us happy

Society often dictates what we falsely believe creates happiness. Financial success, material wealth, finding the right partner and being part of the right group/club are some examples of external momentary happiness and amusement. Funny how mass media marketing attempts to tell and sell us that happiness can be found in a particular brand of meal, soda, car, etc…if they could only drive home the point of where the joy truly resides, most of us would have more money and less aggravation in pursuing it.

3. Getting hung up on what others do and say really impedes our happiness

Consider turning the screws of your mind a quarter of an inch to change your perspective on a few vital things. Then head out into the world keeping your eyes open looking for the joy in the ordinary moments. Holy cow! You will find some… everywhere you look. It is inescapable. It is not always easy to see.

Firstly, set aside judgment. Secondly, avoid expectation. Lastly, completely relinquish any anger for the things you cannot control locally and globally. After all that said and done; voila there it is, happiness…like a beacon of light waiting to be embraced.

4. Creating happiness requires a little focus

I may not always be happy. Yet, I strive with every step I take and every move I make to approach life with positive intention, grace and an abundance of humour. I am not reliant on the outcome; just the moment. Being in the moment gives me full control of my thoughts, feelings and actions…hence my happiness. Yesterday is history, tomorrow a dream but the present is a precious gift.

This is not a 100% fool proof system. It is a goal to which I wholeheartedly aspire. Life is filled with bad days, sadness and adversity. Living now as if it were the only certain commodity creates mindful awareness and a deeper understanding of my power (both positive and negative).

5. Happiness is an inside job

Happiness resides inside on a deeply soulful level. It cannot be bought, sold or traded. It is a choice we each must make consciously or unconsciously when we awaken each day. How are we going to be with our self? How are we going to show up in the world?

 

"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions – the little soon forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitesimal’s of pleasurable thought and genial feeling." Samuel Taylor Coleridge 1772-1834, Poet and Philosopher

The Power is from within, the choice is yours
Gray Lawrence
Independent Distributor(UW)

"Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

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Gray Lawrence

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