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10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy

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"Anytime you blame others and complain about your situation, you are choosing to be a victim. By playing the victim role you are putting yourself in an ineffective and weak position. It is virtually impossible to allow incredible miracles to enter your life when you choose to remain in this negative mental state." Sonia Ricotti Author and Speaker

WRITTEN by ANGEL CHERNOFF

10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy

When you quit doing the wrong things, you make more room for the things that make you happy.  So starting today…

1.  Quit procrastinating on your goals.

Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it.  Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most.  Get a hold of yourself and have discipline.  Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.  What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.

The secret to getting ahead is simply getting started.  Starting, all by itself, is usually sufficient to build enough momentum to keep the ball rolling.  So forget about the finish line and just concentrate on taking your first step.  Say to yourself, “I choose to start this task with a small, imperfect step.”  All those small steps will add up and you’ll actually get to see changes fairly quickly.  Read Getting Things Done.

2.  Quit blaming others and making excuses.

Stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility and perpetuate the problem.  Stop giving your power away and start taking responsibility for your life.  Blaming is just another sorry excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards failure; you and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions.

3.  Quit trying to avoid change.

If nothing ever changed there would be no sunrise the next morning.  Most of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us.  Learning to accept this is vital to our happiness and general success.  Because only when we change, do we grow, and begin to see a world we never knew was possible.

And don’t forget, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So embrace it, and realize that change happens for a reason.  It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

4.  Quit trying to control the uncontrollable.

If you try to control everything, and then worry about the things you can’t control, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and misery.

Some forces are out of your control, but you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.  The best thing you can do is to let go of what you can’t control, and invest your energy in the things you can – like your attitude.

5.  Quit talking down to yourself.

Nothing will bring you down quicker than berating yourself.  The mind is a superb instrument if used right, but when used incorrectly, it becomes very destructive.  Be aware of your mental self-talk.  We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.

As Henry Ford once stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”  One of the major causes of why we fail is due to self-doubt and negative self-talk.  The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones, over time you will change the trajectory of your life.  Read The How of Happiness.

6.  Quit criticizing others.

The negativity you bleed out toward others will gradually cripple your own happiness.  When you truly feel comfortable with your own imperfections, you won’t feel threatened or offended by the imperfections you see in other people.

So stop worrying about the flaws you see in everyone else, and focus on yourself.  Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.

7.  Quit running from your problems and fears.

Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back.  Tackle your problems and fears swiftly, don’t run away from them.  The best solution is to face them head on no matter how powerful they may seem.

Fears, in particularly, stop you from taking chances and making decisions.  They keep you confined to just the small space where you feel completely comfortable.  But your life’s story is simply the culmination of many small, unique experiences, many of which require you to stretch your comfort zone.  Letting your fears and worries control you is not ‘living,’ it’s merely existing.

Bottom line:  Either you own your problems and fears, or they will ultimately own you.

8.  Quit living in another time and place.

Some people spend their entire lives trying to live in another time and place.  They lament about what has been, what they could have done, or what might become.  However, the past is gone, and the future doesn’t exist.  No matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about either, it doesn’t change anything.

One of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to what we’re doing right now, today.

We need to live more in the moment.  Living in the moment requires active, open, intentional awareness on the present.  Don’t fantasize about being on vacation while at work, and don’t worry about the work piling up on your desk when you’re on vacation.  Live for now.  Notice the beauty unfolding around you.

9.  Quit trying to be someone you’re not.

One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.  The Road Less Traveled.

10.  Quit being ungrateful.

Not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realize they do, perfectly.  So thank the things that didn’t work out, because they just made room for the things that will.  And thank the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t.

No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus                                                       Gray Lawrence                                                                                                     Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse                                                            We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. Winston Churchill

Develope yourself

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.
Your world will become what you choose to make it. You can reach great heights of success, or you can settle for a miserable life that is devoid of hope. The choice is yours. When you choose a positive course, you set in motion an unstoppable force that will allow you to have a fulfilling career, the love of your family and friends, good physical and mental health, and all of the other true riches of life. To change your world, you must change it from the inside out. You must begin with yourself. When you choose the course that puts your life on a positive track, you will change your life for the better, and you will also positively influence the people with whom you come in contact.            Napoleon Hill

Develop your core self.
‘ ‘Human beings are the only creatures who do not mature automatically. A baby chick has no choice but to turn into a chicken. But the world is full of people stuck in childhood and adolescence, no matter how old they happen to be. For us, to mature is a decision: Adulthood is an achievement, one that requires—and results in—personal power.
This can takes decades, but it starts with a vision of the "core self." This is the part of you that connects to reality, placing you at the centre of experiences that you personally create. To have a core self is to be the author of your own story; it is the exact opposite of being a victim, who must live a life authored by others.

Powerful thinking creates a powerful energy in your life, but it all starts with a powerful heart “Heart Set” which creates a “Powerful Mind Set”

Align yourself with the flow of evolution, or personal growth.
Once you establish your core self as a goal, your path will unfold and you will evolve. This evolution is wobbly at first; everyone has at least some elements of ignorance and immaturity. But’ ‘thanks to free will, you can help guide your own evolution. The simple fact is that we all desire more and better things for ourselves. If those more and better things are good for our growth, then we are guiding our own positive and powerful evolution. In India they make a distinction between dharma and adharma. Dharma includes whatever naturally upholds life: happiness, truth, duty, virtue, wonder, worship, reverence, appreciation, nonviolence, love, self-respect. On the other hand, adharma consists of choices that do not support life naturally: anger, violence, fear, control, dogmatism, scepticism, unvirtuous acts, prejudice, addiction, intolerance, and unconsciousness in general.
For our purposes, dharma is the ultimate power. It easily supports you, a single individual. What is asked of you is that you honestly look at your everyday life and the choices you are making. Ask yourself how to increase the dharmic
choices and decrease the adharmic ones.

You learn in life that the only person you can really correct and change is yourself.   You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.    Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.  Stan Billue

 

Trust in a power that transcends everyday reality.
Nothing described so far will come true without a higher reality. For the moment, let’s leave aside religion and any reference to God. Fortunately, to have even a speck of consciousness is to be connected to the finite consciousness that supports life, evolution, creativity, and intelligence. None of these things are accidental or a privilege handed out to the lucky few.
To use a metaphor, imagine that you are caught in a net. All nets have holes, so find one, and jump through it. I’ve known wives of abusive husbands who found a hole through, say, learning to paint. For them, it was an escape route, and as they made art, their thinking changed from "I am trapped and can do nothing" to "I must be worth more than I imagined, because look at this beautiful thing I created." Escape routes exist along the qualities hidden in consciousness. They include:
Creativity. Go beyond by discovery and exploration. This leads to insight. Your inner vision clears. You start to see glimmers of light through the fog of your situation. Something more beautiful starts to attract you, and you want to go toward it.
Intelligence. Let your mind lead the way. You start having newer, more exciting thoughts than the old habitual ones you’ve been following. Beliefs are challenged. New points of view attract you, so you move toward them. You’ll want to expand your mind in place of living behind defences and boundaries.
Love and compassion. Discover that you can forgive yourself and others. Fantasies of hurt and revenge are replaced with emotional softening. You see that there is untapped love around you, so you move toward it. The fact that you desire to love and be loved starts to motivate you, without excuses about being unworthy.
Quantum leaps. Notice—and learn—when you have an epiphany, a moment of dramatic awakening. These are the great "aha" experiences that peel away an entire layer of reality. We say that the heavens open, but really it’s a new level of consciousness, one that brings more light.
Devotion. Understand that life is full of awe and wonder. From this you see a reason to revere your own existence. You have been placed in a world where you can be devoted to something, and your worship gives you a sense of worth.
These escape routes all lead back to the person you really are, and that person know that what really counts extends far beyond the individual: the glory of creation, the beauty of nature, the heart qualities of love and compassion, the mental power to discover new things, and those unexpected epiphanies that bring the presence of God—these universal aspects are your true source of power. They are you, and you are all of them.

Our highest power is love, and it is one thing each of us has an unlimited amount of. How much love do you give to others in one day? Each day we have an opportunity to set out with this great, unlimited power in our possession, and pour it over every person and circumstance. Love is appreciating, complimenting, feeling gratitude, and speaking good words to others We have so much love to give, and the more that we give, the more we receive. May the joy be with you, The Secret Rhonda Byrne

 

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Gray Lawrence  Utility Warehouse Distributor 

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

Be Inspired by Debra Keirce

PMA Added

“Always look for the positive. Don’t let anything stop you or get in the way of your goals and dreams.” – Sage Donnelly

 

Dare to Dream Big!

Debra KeirceIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Do it.
Dare to dream.
Dream big.
Dream the details.
Imagine the day when your dream comes true.
Surround yourself with people who support your dream. In turn, support them in their dreams.

In this way, you will succeed. Be willing to sacrifice, and be willing to walk away from those who criticize or distract. Be generous and loving in your pursuits. Lift others up because you know that your biggest assets in this journey are the love and support of those around you. Let go of anyone who tries to hold you back. Do not judge, and do not allow yourself to be judged. Keep your eyes on the prize. It doesn’t matter whether people understand your intentions. It doesn’t matter if you fail in your first attempts. You will fail in your first attempts. The journey will be full of unexpected turns and amazing adventures. Take time to thoroughly enjoy achievements along the way. The biggest dreams are full of the biggest joys, the deepest disappointments and the most adversity. Through it all, keep an unrelenting focus on your goals.

“Dream” is a verb. It is an act that starts with a single thought. It’s not something that happens to you. It’s not a story you can watch play out on its own. It is not a description of something attained by a privileged few. It’s not a reward for being in the right place at the right time. Dreaming requires your active participation. Plan for success. Structure that single thought in a unique way that describes joy, contentment, peace, happiness and success for you on a very personal level. Nurture and feed that thought so it can grow. Chance opportunities will present themselves, but don’t rely on chance. Rather, be prepared to forge ahead when doors open for you. If you dare to dream, be tenacious in pursuit of that dream. Invest yourself heart and soul.

Even before you reach your goals, you will inspire people to set their own. With every challenge that knocks you down, people will see you as a Luminary when you get back up and soldier on.

If you want to change the world in a positive way, dream with passion.

See the path to the finish line as your life’s journey. And when one dream ends, celebrate and start a new one. Show us how it’s done. Simply, dream. Do it.

Debra Keirce is an internationally collected artist who lives in Northern Virginia, USA. Debra paints from life, photo references, and her imagination. Her paintings are very realistic, but her subject matter is nothing that exists for you to readily photograph. For this reason, her art is often referred to as hauntingly familiar. Art critic Brian Sherwin, Editor of The Art Edge, commented on Debra’s still life paintings. Sherwin said, "Artist Debra Keirce approaches her still life paintings with a playful sense of surrealism. The work I observed appears to capture a dream-like quality. This quality is heightened by Debra’s love of unique still life arrangements." For Ms. Keirce, being an artist is the continuation of a dream that started in Detroit in 1978 when she was 17 years old. That was the year she decided to live a life of magic, and seemingly improbable, if not impossible, goals. She decided then and there to become a chemical engineer. She later left engineering to raise a family when she was on the verge of being promoted into management, raise three children as a stay at home mom, and began a successful career as a professional fine artist. And, the dream continues.

For more information, please visit DebKArt.com.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

 

 

 

 

 

7 Leadership Secrets

PMA Added Gray Lawrence

"When you grow up, you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money… but that’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact–and that is everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you." -Steve Jobs

7 Secrets I Learnt From The Leadership Pill by Ken Blanchard

1. Leadership is not just what happens when you are there. It’s what happens when you are not there.

This is a very useful distinction and should become an outcome for anyone who wants to lead. Team that functions even if the leader is not around is something unique and requires a different level of skills. The next points will give couple of ideas how to get there. A great leader builds their people. The better your people, the more free time you have.

2. Profit is the applause you get for taking care of your customers and creating a motivating environment for people.

Isn’t it an interesting twist in perception and sequence? There are so many organisations that do exactly opposite. This model helps to remove from constantly focusing on just getting a quick financial gain that looks good in a short term, but on the other hand it can strongly damage the two most important parts of your organisations: your customers and your team.

3. Leadership is not something you do to people, it is something you do with them.

Simple but powerful truth. If you are setting off for a team leading journey, remember to take your team with you. Communicate and involve. Simple but also so often forgotten.

4. The key to effective leadership is the relationship you build with your team.

An extension from the previous points. The relationship you build with your team should be the way how you judge your success as a leader.

5. Sharing the big picture puts everyone on the same page.

Effective communication will always be the key leadership skill while building a team. A clear vision gives the strong sense of direction, or even a sense of excitement and a powerful drive, if properly communicated.

6. You will go a lot further if you stop to refuel.

That is something I must admit I have been guilty of. It is so crucially important to pause, relax and change your perception with different activities, different people. So take time for sport, short trips, dancing, reading watching movies, hiking etc. If you are scoring and winning take time to celebrate, if you are missing your target and not really getting what you want, find time to reflect and get some distance to gain new perspective. Albert Einstein put it nicely: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”

7. The highest achievement of a leader is winning respect and trust of your team.

Again, I love what Ken Blanchard is doing here. Measure your success of leadership not by financial numbers but trust and respect. These two ingredients will lay a solid foundation that will be a springboard for long lasting financial results.

Hope these 7 nuggets from Ken Blanchard take your leadership skills to the max!
If you enjoyed, please comment and share.

Here’s To Your Success

Money is kind of a base subject. Like water, food, air and housing, it affects everything yet for some reason the world of academics thinks it’s a subject below their social standing. Robert Kiyosaki

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki 

 Gray Lawrence  

Independent Distributor (Utility Warehouse)

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE

Life says, “Make good or make room, but don’t make excuses.”
In today’s management parlance, “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.” When you are actively working toward a goal, there are no failures; there are only degrees of success. Choose to be a leader. Take the initiative. When you are faced with a problem or a difficult decision, don’t waste endless hours agonizing over the solution. If you analyse the situation objectively, you will always find an answer. Don’t focus on the problem; focus on the solution. Then get into action. As W. Clement Stone has often said, “The emotions are not always subject to reason, but they are always subject to action!” – Napoleon Hill

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy

imageA philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have

Room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

 

imageThe Power of Simplicity – that is what the story demonstrates. If I may add my two cents worth… the story underlines the need to give priority to the IMPORTANT over the URGENT. Once the Important is in place, we can attend to the Urgent. If we fail to do that, we become perpetual slaves to the great tyrant called Urgent.

 

Your life is a learning process – you can only become wiser from learning. Sometimes you might have to attract making a painful mistake to learn something important, but after the mistake you have far greater wisdom. Wisdom cannot be bought with money – it can only be acquired through living life. With wisdom comes: strength, courage, knowing, and an ever-increasing peace. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

 

Dreams are difficult to build and easy to destroy. – Seth Godin

Gray Lawrence

Focus on the WHY of life and not the HOW, remembering that where focus goes, energy flows – Gail Lynne Goodwin

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Gray Lawrence

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Ph: +44 1522 691508
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