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REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

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”Stop and make sure that everything you are doing right now is really what makes you happy. You can’t just live for some goal in the future and have that be everything . . . have that be it. Because that is what some people do. They get on this road and there are all these signs saying, ‘This way. That way.’ But what if you get there, you get exactly what you wanted, like some people do, except all the things that were wrong, are still wrong. Then what?” -Party of Five              

The people development network..

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concer

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

 

 

Gray Lawrence

“Recognize that you have the ability to change your perception, thus your health. The mind-body connection exists in all of us.”                                  – Cheryln Cluse-Howard

 

 

Be Inspired by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz

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He who loses wealth loses much;

he who loses a friend loses more;

but he that loses his courage loses all.

~Miguel de Cervantes

 

The Key to Having Endless Energy

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Do everything you do with every fibre of your being. This includes important activities, like preparing a presentation for work or expressing love to your spouse or children, but it also includes everyday things like washing the dishes, balancing your check book, or talking to the checkout clerk at a store. Most people are so afraid of depleting themselves they constantly hold themselves back. But if you give to the last drop, you’ll be surprised to discover you have more energy than you ever dreamed of.

In fact, you have a source of infinite energy inside you; it can’t be depleted. Weirdly, the way to get more of this energy – is to give more of it away. When you hold back, you lose touch with it. When you feel like you’re running on empty, that’s why.

This inexhaustible source is every human being’s sacred birth right and its energy reflects two aspects of the divine. The first is Love: it has the ability to connect you to the people around you – and them to each other. The second is Creation: it can bring new things into the world. At the end of your life, this outflow of love and creativity is all that will matter, and it is all that will be left of your existence; it is your true legacy.

So far so good. But it’s easier to say “give all of yourself” than it is to do it. Mostly, we focus on what we want to get from the world – money, validation, status, etc. What we have to give seems irrelevant. But whatever you get back means nothing compared to what you give out. We’ve treated patients who’ve gotten more than most of us can imagine – they live in palaces and wear outfits that could feed entire families for a year – and none of it makes them happy or fulfilled. As hard as it is to believe, they have to live by the same rules as you do; to live well, they have to give everything of themselves.

At some point something bad will happen – you’ll lose a loved one, get rejected, or lose your job – and the sheer pain of it will make you want to stop giving. But remember, what defines you is not how much you suffer, but how quickly you recover and resume giving. The whole purpose of life is to break your heart open, because the unbroken heart cannot love or create. So let life sink its spears into you and watch your heart get bigger than you ever imagined it could.

The following code will help you make all of this a reality:

  • Do not accept the world as you find it; look for what’s wrong or missing and assume that you were born to give whatever it needs.
  • Don’t follow the herd. Set your own course; do not be defined by what others think of you.
  • Resist superficial distractions and remain focused on your goals even if you have to sacrifice immediate gratification.
  • Don’t be stopped by obstacles; the real enemy is your willingness to quit in the face of them.

We hope you will join us in living by this code. If you do, you’ll be able to face death with only thing that can vanquish death: a life of infinite giving. As Rudolf Steiner said, “Selfless deeds are the foundation of immortality.”

Gray Lawrence

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ~ Winston Churchill

 

Abundance the state of having a large quantity…

Whether positive or negative your feelings consume your mind, body and spirit and it is up to you (and only you) to try to improve your feelings or maintain positive feelings.”

Frank Mangano

 

What is abundance?  If you have spent any time at all looking into personal development you must have come across this term so many times.  But what exactly is it?

According to my dictionary, the word “abundance” means “the state of having a large quantity; plentifulness”.  But a large quantity of what, precisely?  Plenty of what?  The answer, of course, is “everything”.

Or perhaps, more accurately, “everything that is good”.  That is not the dictionary definition, which could apply equally to everything that is not so good.  But in the way it is used by me and by everyone else involved in personal development “abundance” is only that which is good.

 

“Success isn’t something that you do on the outside; success is something that you are on the inside. The rest will follow.” ~Chuck Danes

 

This is a very important point to get your head around.  “Abundance”, in the way in which we mean it, can only be good.  If you can really take that in and accept it, you will already have removed one of the biggest blocks to abundance which most people seem to have.  The belief that there is something wrong about wanting abundance, that it is selfish, that the things you want are not good for you.

If whatever comes to you when you pursue abundance is only good, then it cannot be wrong to want it.  It cannot be selfish. It cannot be bad for you. Know this for a certainty.  Believe it with your inner core.  If you do, you will find it so much easier to achieve whatever you want to achieve.  But if you do not, you will find it almost impossible.

 

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ~Thomas Edison

 

One thing that many of us pursue is “success”.  Is it wrong to want to be successful?  Of course not!  How could it be?  Otherwise it would be right to want to fail – and that certainly cannot be right, unless you mean as a step towards final success such as experienced by Edison.  Most of us know this superficially, but deep down there is something in us that contradicts it.  We see other people who have achieved what society calls success and notice they are not always happy and fulfilled – sometimes they are quite miserable and are very poor role models.  Inside, we say “if that is success then I don’t want anything to do with it!”.  Everything comes back, though, to what you mean by success.  I would argue that none of those people are truly successful.  They may have become famous, they may be wealthy, but they are not successful.  Decide on your measure of success, ignoring what the world tries to say success must be, make sure it is fully aligned with your inner nature, and then go for it!  You will find, if you do this exercise properly, that your definition of success is a good thing for you and also if you determine to achieve it you will.

Another thing so many pursue is “wealth”.  Is there anything wrong with wealth?  Again, of course not!  Wealth is neutral when it comes to good and evil.  Everything depends on how it is used.  Look at how Bill Gates has chosen to use his wealth for example!  Some people feel it is wrong to want to be wealthy, believing the only way you can become wealthy is by depriving others of what they need or want.  Ridiculous!  Yes, it is possible to become wealthy through selfish or even illegal means.  But that is not really abundance.  And the Universe has a way of restoring the right balance.  If not in this lifetime then in the next.  But often in this lifetime – there are so many cases of people who have acquired their wealth selfishly finding it is all frittered away in next to no time.  The best way of becoming wealthy is by giving great value to others – who then add to your wealth in return.  Do this properly and you will find you become truly wealthy in an abundant way.

 

“The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth. The decision is yours” Gray Lawrence

 

Get your mind straight on the true meaning of abundance and you too can have everything you truly desire.  The Universe is truly abundant and is simply waiting to share that abundance with you.  Go out now and accept that gift with gratitude rather than ungraciously continually to throw it back in the face of the Universe!

 

Gray Lawrence

“Abundance doesn’t follow giving until giving becomes its own reward.” Jan Denise

 

From Ben Wright Internet Marketing Genius

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Remember you will not always win. Some days, the most resourceful individual will taste defeat. But there is, in this case, always tomorrow – after you have done your best to achieve success today." Maxwell Maltz 1899-1975

Ben Wright "I want Fish & chips”   Is a great friend and wonderful business man, whom has a wonderful wife and family.

"Internet Marketing Consultant “I want Fish & Chips” HQ Sparkhouse, University of Lincoln ropewalk Lincoln LN6 7DQ   hello@iwantfishandchips.co.uk            01522 717475 Ps the company name has nothing to do with fish and chips, honest.. Welcome to I Want Fish & Chips blog and this passage: The Importance of Systems and Processes in Business

September 14, 2016/0 Comments/in Business, Content /by Chief Fish Fryer

From Ben Wright:

It might be fun to fly by the seat of your pants but you can’t do it all the time. Having the proper structure to your business and putting in place systems and processes that improve productivity and maintain quality are a much better guarantees of success.

When you first start up a business, you may find that you are able to control all the different challenges that come your way. As you get more successful, however, there comes a point when you have to put the right plans in place.

What are Systems?

They’re basically the documented processes and procedures that you need to follow to do your business. This can be anything from how to operate a piece of tech or machinery to how marketing material is disseminated. It can include putting your brand to the fore in any client contact or simply the right process for chasing up a sales call.

The reason many businesses don’t get on board with sorting out their systems and processes is that they are often seen as back room measures. The newest developments and the latest client are much more exciting. Putting in systems, however, means that people coming into your organisation to work have a strong framework to operate from.

Another reason that business neglects this particular area of their daily functioning is that it’s a thing which can be put off. We’ll do it tomorrow or we’ll schedule some time to get it done in the next month or so. This is understandable, particularly if you are working hard to get a business off the ground and have ‘more important’ things to do.

But systems and processes need to be put in place. They are actually vital and they can save you a lot of time and money. Here are just a few more benefits:

· They are important if you want to move on and sell your business. Potential buyers expect systems and processes in place, they don’t expect to have to do all this work themselves.

· Systems and processes prepare you to expand and scale up. It means you can take on new staff knowing that your business is going to stay on a desired course and not veer away because someone didn’t know how to do something important.

· They make your brand and your business operation consistently. Everyone knows where they stand and what to do when X or Y happens.

· You don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time a situation comes up. It saves on time and money if you have a process for this or that eventuality.

Implementing sound systems and processes can include:

· Introducing accounting systems that keep track of sales and expenditure.

· Writing down your business plan for at least the next five years, including what goals you need to achieve and by when.

· How are you going to fund new developments and when you need it by.

· How you are going to manage recruitment and what new employees need to know when they start working for you.

· Creating a policy for technology including the use of secure passwords and the dos and don’ts of operation.

· How you are going to bill people and collect money.

· Where you are going to market and develop your brand.

· What customer support you are going to provide and how this is going to be delivered uniformly and to a high standard.

Basically, as your business grows the more need for systems and processes you are going to have. While your business may be small now, the hope is that it will begin to scale up and become a success. Rather than putting them on the back burner for now, having a detailed think about what processes and systems you need in place is better done sooner, rather than later.

Tags: Digital Marketing Lincoln, Marketing, Marketing Lincoln

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Gray Lawrence

Life is the sum of all our choice’s; albert Camus

Allowing Takes Faith and Trust

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Allowing takes faith, patience and trust—three things that are essential for your own peace of mind and well-being, but often are not things we focus on, learn about or are encouraged to practice in our intense, fast-paced, results-oriented culture. Allowing is truly an art and is something that often goes against the grain and runs contrary to societal norms and pressures. It has to do with remembering, as the well-known saying goes, "We’re human beings, not human doings."
Here are a few things to think about and practice as you enhance your capacity and ability to allow with more ease in your life.

  • Ask yourself how you relate to the concept of allowing. Take some inventory of your own relationship with this idea. How do you feel about it? How comfortable are you allowing things and people to be as they are, as well as allowing things to manifest with ease in your life? This is something you may understand, but may not practice. Tell yourself the truth about how you relate to allowing, and notice how this impacts your life one way or another.
  • Pay attention to what you focus on in regard to your biggest goals and aspirations. In terms of the biggest goals, dreams and aspirations in your life right now, how much of your attention and energy are focused on doing, and how much are focused on allowing? While both doing and allowing are important, most people put a disproportionate amount of attention on action. Increasing your focus on allowing and ultimately receiving can be a magical, relaxing and incredibly effective way for you to relate to your goals and dreams. This is often one of the big missing pieces in your desire not only for success, but—more important—for fulfilment.
  • Create an allowing practice. This is a simple practice you can do daily (like prayer, meditation, quiet reflection or affirmation) when you put your attention and awareness on allowing: accepting things as they are; trusting things are working out as they are meant to; believing the feelings, experiences, accomplishments and outcomes you desire are on their way; and allowing yourself to receive these gifts and blessings with ease and gratitude. You may need to reach out to others for support, guidance and feedback about creating or deepening an allowing practice that will work for you, but doing this is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself (as well as those around you).

Have fun with this and have compassion for yourself as well. Allowing is a lot easier to think about or talk about than it actually is to practice and embody in your life. The more attention you put on it, however, the easier it gets. And as you deepen your ability and your capacity to allow, your whole life can transform with ease, grace and gratitude!
Mike Robbins is a best-selling author, sought-after motivational keynote speaker and personal growth expert who works with people and groups of all kinds. Robbins is the author of the best-selling books Focus on the Good Stuff and Be Yourself: Everyone Else Is Already Taken. He and his work have been featured on ABC News and in Forbes, Ladies Home Journal, Self and many other publications

"Just like you are in charge of your thoughts and emotions, you are in charge of your visual field and imagination. Use it to help create positive thoughts and send positive vibrations to the universe." Frank Mangano

Gray Lawrence

Be aware of the big difference between inspired action and activity. Activity comes from the brain-mind and is rooted in disbelief and lack of faith – you are taking action to "make" your desire happen. Inspired action is allowing the law to work through you and to move you. Activity feels hard. Inspired action feels wonderful. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

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Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

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