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REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Optimism

We can learn from our leaders of the past. Thomas Edison’s great optimism gives us a quintessential example of welcoming disaster. On a December night in 1914, fire broke out in the film room of Thomas Edison’s laboratory. As his assets were going up in smoke, it would seem that this sixty-seven-year-old man’s spirit would certainly be crushed. Instead he saw the fire and shouted to his son, “Where’s Mom? Go get her! Tell her to get her friends! They’ll never see a fire like this again!” Later, he said,

“You can always make capital out of disaster.
We’ve just cleared out a bunch of old rubbish.
We’ll build bigger and better on the ruins.”

Thomas Edison could not control the circumstances. Rather than being heartbroken to see his life’s work go up in flames, he chose to welcome the opportunity to start over. Edison, known for his overwhelming optimism, is an inspiration for us today.

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concert

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

Gray Lawrence

“The point is not to live without any regrets it is to not hate ourselves for having them..” Gray Lawrence

Be Inspired by Andrea Waltz

PA Added only:

“Always give more than you hope to receive, whether in business or in your personal life.” – Dave Taylor

 

 

Be Inspired to Succeed by Failing

“The Earth’s most precious natural resource is truly a rare find. As it changes by the second it is that of our time.”

– Shonika Proctor

Andrea WaltzIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

I believe everything we need to succeed is inside us as children, but it gets slowly pushed out of us as we grow older. By the time we’re teenagers we’ve forgotten these lessons or been forced to bury them. And if you are like me, deep inside you don’t feel any different than you did at age ten or twelve, well, except that you likely don’t play baseball anymore and you probably haven’t done a somersault in years. (I am not suggesting you start.)

What I am saying is that you get back a few of those great qualities you had as a kid that kept your mind open to possibility and made life fun, interesting, and full of hope. Here’s how:

Learn to enjoy failure. Everything you did as a kid requires trying and failing. Climbing a tree, riding a bike or tying your shoes all forced you to fumble and fail. But you did not care. Mistakes were just part of the process. You had no embarrassment or shame – only a desire to go faster to learn and master all of the exciting things that were ahead of you. Ridding yourself from fear of failure means you let go of what other people think about you. The obsession with perfection, fearing mistakes and failure ruins opportunities and destroys your potential. Oh and another thing, failures teach you valuable lessons just like they did when you were young. Ever burn your hand on a hot stove? Check, I did.

Start asking. We asked questions all the time because we were curious. As adults we have let go of that great skill. Instead, we assume what people are thinking, what they will do and how they will answer our question. We assume they won’t buy, they won’t help, or that they are not interested. Now that may be true, but how do you know for sure? Rejection is all around. But avoiding rejection from others means you reject yourself first! Give other people the opportunity to say no and don’t make assumptions.

Don’t take no for an answer. Okay, I am not suggesting you become a spoiled brat. But we need to remember the tenacity we had as kids. One ‘no’ from someone was the opening of the conversation. It was the starting place to getting to where we wanted to go. We got creative and bargained, learning how to persuade and convince – even if it was just for money to buy a candy bar. It was a great skill! So don’t take that ‘no’ so easily and remember that it is often the beginning of a relationship and often ends in a yes if we are patient and positively persistent.

The hope and possibility you had as a kid can be found but you need to tap back into these traits to do it. They are the things that will remind you of the person that you were and then get to you to become the person you were always meant to be and live the life that you dreamed about.

Andrea Waltz is passionate about helping people overcome the fear of the word NO and feelings of failure and rejection that go along with it. Along with her husband and business partner Richard Fenton, she has made her mission to liberate people from fears of failure and rejection, sharing an entire new mindset about hearing the word NO.

For more information, please visit goforno.com.

Failure seems to be nature’s plan for preparing us for great responsibilities.
If everything we attempted in life was achieved with a minimum of effort and came out exactly as planned, how little we would learn — and how boring life would be! And how arrogant we would become if we succeeded at everything we attempted. Failure allows us to develop the essential quality of humility. It is not easy — when you are the person experiencing failure — to accept it philosophically, serene in the knowledge that this is one of life’s great learning experiences. But it is. Nature’s ways are not always easily understood, but they are repetitive and therefore predictable. You can be absolutely certain that when you feel you are being most unfairly tested, you are being prepared for great achievement. – Napoleon Hill

I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best. John Keats

Gray Lawrence Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

Choose to be optimistic, it feels better." – Dalai Lama

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Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Mob:+44 7726591314
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