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What is the real value of setting goals by Mike Sherratt

this is from a man I appreciate.  PMA added only;

“The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth. The decision is yours” Gray Lawrence

What is the real value of setting goals

I believe 100% in the power of setting goals to bring about the results you want to achieve in your life. My beliefs have been reinforced by seeing goals materialise in my clients’ lives, my family’s life as well as in my own life. The beauty of setting goals is that you are never too old or too young to start the process and benefit from the outcome.

Whilst I do use coaching within my own family with caution, I have a couple of stories from my own family which are constant reminders to me of the power of goal setting. My left handed, 11 year old, son who had struggled with hand writing speed through out his schooling, set a goal to “More than double my hand writing speed”. With the goal very firmly in mind, he automatically became motivated to take a “d-i-y” hand writing programme. He worked on the programme himself with little in the way of reminders from me. His handwriting speed accelerated, and the goal was achieved.

For 67 years, or as long as she could use a crayon, my son’s grandmother, my mother enjoyed art as a hobby. She had reached a point where she wasn’t getting very much from her art. I took her through a goal setting session around her art and she established what she wanted to do: Become an Become an Artist of Excellence. She herself realised she was not spending enough time on her art, and became highly motivated and highly focused. At the age of 68, she applied and was accepted to do a BA Hons Degreee Course, and has since won prizes for her art. In both cases, it was literally the setting of their own goals which led to these outcomes.

Goals can be used in the moment to dramatically change the outcome. Today I was playing a one set tennis match. I wasn’t playing well, and found myself down 5-2 and 40 love down. Unexpectedly I became inspired by the idea of winning from such a place. “Winning from 5-2, and 40 love down” became the goal of the moment, which really excited me. I shared my goal with my opponent. My game changed beyond recognition.. I became very focused, and determined whilst at the same time very relaxed. I started to enjoy the match. Instead of loosing many games to love, I was winning games to love. I finally went on to win 7-6.

Jon Covey tells his readers to “start with the end in mind” – and when we set a goal we are doing just that.

What is the purpose of setting goals?

So many people go through their lives like rudder-less ships – without clear direction, and are literally subject to storms and winds in the sea of life. Lack of direction can often lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, poor concentration levels, lack of confidence, and living life from a place of being reactive rather than proactive. Not only that, but people without goals often have little determination, patience or tenacity.

When you set and achieve a goal, you have an opportunity to pat yourself on the back. Even if you don’t achieve exactly what you set out to do, there are likely to be numerous achievements and learning’s along the way that you can acknowledge yourself for. All this helps build self esteem.

For those who are serious about sport, who are running a business or have a senior role within a company, setting goals is an essential ingredient to success. In spite of this not everyone does it. It may take a conversation with a coach, or business advisor to get them thinking along these lines.

Setting goals is not just for sport or work, everyone can benefit from a well-worded goal. Whether you seek a new partner, a better relationship with your existing one, a new job, a new house, more energy, more abundance, improved health, a stress-free life, or something else, the right goal for you, can make all the difference.

How do you set goals?
Setting goals is a very easy process to do at its simplest level. I spend quite some time designing personalized goals with my clients. I find that it is most effective for people to focus on the top areas of their lives – perhaps their business (if that is appropriate) as well as one or two other areas. Choosing the top areas is an important part of the process. I find clients are most motivated if they are working on the areas of their lives which are going to make the greatest difference to them. It is important to bear in mind too, that what may be important today, but not be so key in a few months time. If you find yourself neglecting an area that you have designated top, one reason may be that it is not now so important. If you find this happening, a great tip is to check in with yourself by asking your self how important it is to have this thing. Answer with a score out of 10 – where 10 is very important and 0 is not important.

There is a balance to be achieved between working on all areas that need attention – and just working on one area. Focusing on multiple areas can be distracting leading to little being achieved. Focusing on one area alone, also has its downsides. Not only can it impact negatively on your work/life balance, but an over-focus can lead to what I call “attachment to the outcome”.

You may have experienced a situation where you wanted something so much that it became crucial that you had that “thing” in your life. It could be the promotion, the new job, the new house, or the new partner. When you find yourself attached to a particular result, you may find that it often gets in the way of your ideal result coming about. One way of “letting go” of your attachment is to spread your focus by having one or two other key goals.

Once you have your top two or three areas, the next step is to set a goal that is going to really inspire you in each of these areas. Defining an inspiring goal is a challenging exercise to do alone. A coach who is experienced in working with clients to define really inspiring goals can really help with this process. One of my clients, a Managing Director of a Design Agency, wanted to work on his business. He wanted to realize its potential, become more financially successful, move forward, and be busy. This led to a goal which was really inspiring for him “My business buzzes to the tune of £50K profit per month”. This was particularly challenging goal because the business had made a loss for over 9 months. Five months into the coaching and the business is on an upward trend – last month profits were just under £50K – and we still have a month to go with the coaching.

A goal that is hugely inspiring for a client has an energy of its own. I equate it to what happens when a surfer rides a powerful wave. Once on the big wave, all a surfer needs to do is focus and balance and he will be carried to the shore – without the need to do much more. (Of course, if he wants to reach the road from the shore, he will need to take some action).

One of my clients is a singer. Her long term goal is “My first record deal published”. Whilst it is hugely inspiring for her, she wanted a goal for the short term. In her case it is to “Perform at least 5 concerts with my own material”. At the time she set this goal, she hadn’t performed any concerts with her own material. Between the time she set this goal and our next meeting, two weeks later, she left the country to be with her sister, who had just had a baby. She wasn’t putting any time into getting her concerts. Yet in the meantime, the goal was working for her. “Out of the blue” she received two invitations to perform concerts with her own material.

Sometimes I work with clients who have a gap in a certain area of their lives, but are resistant to setting a goal in that area. Often they are in the place where they don’t want to take action on something, in case they don’t get what they want. This can be in situations where they have tried many things without success. I have encouraged them to set a goal, with the explicit instruction that they take no action.

One of my clients had tendonitis for many years which was impacting on her ability to play and coach tennis. She was resistant to setting a goal around healing her tendonitis – she had tried many things and didn’t want to do more. I encourage her to set a goal and requested that she take no action. Some months into our coaching relationship, she chose to use some new processes, including visualisation. Her tendonitis healed and she went on to launch a tennis initiative for under privileged children: Taking them off the streets and coaching them in tennis.

What makes a powerful goal?

Like making a cake, there are several ingredients. With a cake, I would say flour is most essential, and with goal setting, it is inspiration that, for me, is most essential. I take great trouble with my clients to ensure that together we define a goal that scores top marks for inspiration. A goal to loose weight became “Look fabulous in my black PVC cat suit” for a female client and “Lean, mean, well oiled machine” for a male client.

Given that we are working in a coaching alliance, it is when I am as inspired by a goal as my client is, that the magic really starts to fly.

For the second most important ingredient, I rate succinctness. A really powerful goal can also double up as a mantra. It is easy to repeat as often as possible and it is easy to remember. Finding a new job can become “Love what I do” and recovering from a difficult patch can become “Sparky, witty Jonny is back”!.

I also rate challenging as an important ingredient- alongside inspiration. Getting the level of challenge right is key to the success of the goal. Some clients are truly inspired by challenge – particular if challenge is amongst their core values. Whereas for others, too much challenge can be counterproductive. A goal that is too challenging can defer a client from taking action. If a client is determined to stay in the “this will never happen place” then some adjustments are needed: either to their perspective or to the goal. I come from the place where everything thing is possible – and encourage my clients to move into that place. Technology has shown us that things that weren’t possible in the past are now today, and most people have had experiences where they weren’t initially able to do something, have thought that they never would and have since learnt.

A challenging goal doesn’t necessarily make it difficult to achieve. An example from my own life. I am naturally someone with an extremely busy mind. In the past, left to its own devices, my mind would mull over both concerns and projects for hours on end – during the day and often at night too. It was draining. I wanted to be able to turn my mind off – whilst still retaining my innate ability to be creative. This led to a goal which was hugely inspiring for me “Be the Zen Master of my on/off switch”. The goal started to take on an energy of its own. Coincidentally, I signed up for a spiritual training – which encouraged meditation daily. Meditation was something I had practiced for a number of years in the past. I had stopped simply because I wasn’t at that time getting results with it.

This time things were different. Almost from the moment I started to meditate again, I found that my mind became quiet. I was the “Zen master of my on/off switch”. A hugely challenging goal was achieved with the minimum of effort.

Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for something realistic within a specific time frame. If making a goal realistic means that some of the inspiration is lost – then go for the inspiration is what I say. I recently started with a client at the stage of transition from full time employment to running his own business. The goal that truly inspires him is “Respected in my outstanding £5 million business”. From a standing start, this goal could be considered to be unrealistic within the 6 months of our initial contract. So he has has a signpost goal around his business plan being written and approved by the bank. This gives him a short term focus, whilst the longer term goal is the one that truly excites, inspires and motivates him.

In most cases, it makes sense to frame goals in the positive. That said, there are times when a goal which appears to be expressed in the negative, is more motivating to a client than the other way round. I have had a number of clients who came to me with health challenges. One had pain from a hernia and had used drugs to control the symptoms for 7 years. Prior to our setting a goal, she found that no drugs meant intolerable pain levels. She could have set a positive goal such as “100% healthy” but instead chose “Pain and Drug Free” for her goal. These were the words that did it for her. Within one session, she had given up her drugs this time without pain – and has maintained her drug and pain free state ever since.

Classical goal setting will encourage you to go for goals that are measurable. I would 100% agree with that. Not only is a measure motivational, but both yourself and your coach will know how close or how far you are from achieving the goal, at any point in time. With business and sports goals, it is fairly easy to incorporate a measure. A desire to grow and sustain a business became “My sustainable £30K per month Business Building Business” for one of my clients.

Which brings me to what happens if you don’t achieve the goal that you originally set. This may be because you changed your mind. What you set out to achieve initially, no longer holds the same interest for you. For the more spiritually minded, it can be useful to include a caveat – to your goal setting, particularly when you find yourself hugely attached to the outcome. This can take the form of a simple sentence which can be added to a goal e.g. “Achieve my goal….or whatever the grand design has in store for me”.

Often, it is only a matter of time until the goal you set becomes yours. There is likely to be many learning and achievements on your path from the moment you set your goals. I recommend that you keep a note of your learning’s and achievements- since, in my experience, human beings are particularly good at forgetting, as well as dismissing their achievements. However valuable goals setting is, and whatever the outcome, I find it empowering to remember that “Life is a journey, not a destination”. (Who was it that said that?!)

Go and SET YOUR GOALS NOW

I’ll see you soon. Make sure to look out for my email, and if you have any questions, feel free to give me a call.

To Your Prosperity,

Mike Sherratt

0044-1925-639-773

Attraction Marketing Mentor

myteam@themikesherratt.com

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Mike Sherratt, 166 Padgate Lane, Warrington, Cheshire WA1 3SP, UNITED KINGDOM

Gray Lawrence

Don’t allow others to diminish your light due to their own fears. Instead shine so brightly that you will illuminate a pathway for them to come out of the darkness..Gray Lawrence

Anticipation vs. Anxiety

 
Everything Happens for a reason, may be you do not see the reason why
 
Anticipation vs. anxiety

If we define anxiety as experiencing failure in advance, we can also understand its antonym, anticipation.

When you work with anticipation, you will highlight the highs. You’ll double down on the things that will delight and push yourself even harder to be bold and to create your version of art. If this is going to work, might as well build something that’s going to be truly worth building.

If you work with anxiety, on the other hand, you’ll be covering the possible lost bets, you’ll be insuring against disaster and most of all, building deniability into everything you do. When you work under the cloud of anxiety, the best strategy is to play it safe, because if (when!) it fails, you’ll be blameless.

Not only is it more fun to work with anticipation, it’s often a self-fulfilling point of view..

 

I have been terrified all my life but it does not stop me

 

Gray Lawrence

your attitude is what makes you from now on…

If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change. – Tony Gaskins

Be Inspired by Oyaje Idoko

PM Added only… "Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions." Dalai Lama

"A smile is a gift for all around us, not to be kept by us; but to be given freely everyday to all you know see and pass by, No matter who or what they are feeling or look like. It is your duty your unwritten law! Your ambition for being put on this earth to make another person SMILE EVERY DAY – Gray Lawrence

The One Absolute Certainty in Life

 

Oyaje Idoko  If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important  wisdom  I’d want to pass along to others…

The two past consecutive weekends, I had to travel down to my  village for the funerals of two of my very dear cousins.

This experience had a profound impact on me and brought me down to earth, literally, as I further realized the futility of this life. It was a wakeup call and a reminder about what mattered most as we go through this journey called life. I have come to appreciate these long road trips to funerals as they allow me a time for deep meditation and assessment of my life and help me to think more about this inevitable end which we all must face some day.

I think about the life of the people we just lost. The huge impact they made that endeared them to us and motivated us to make this long trip to pay our last respect. I looked at the hundreds of people from all walks of life that had also made  time to embark on the long tedious journey to pay their last respects. I listened to the beautiful tributes made by friends, colleagues and family about how much the deceased had impacted their lives. We wept; we forgot why we were there momentarily and cracked jokes; we remembered and we wept again until the caskets were lowered and we heard the sounds of earth hitting the casket as the grave was covered. Then we felt some peace as we knew the final chapter of their lives was closed. The only thing that lives on, is the legacy they left behind: the impact they made on us and others while alive. The fond memories of the experiences we shared with them. It is Ernest Hemingway that said, “Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.”

You know, death is one subject that very few feel comfortable to talk about. Most people shy away from this subject and hurriedly go through it when they have to yet it’s one of the few things in this world that is most definitely certain. No one is going to escape it which is why I describe is as the Absolute Certainty. So if death is so certain, we must ask ourselves, when we die, what sort of tributes will be given at our funeral? How many people will be willing to make sacrifices and inconvenience themselves to be at our burial? Why do we live with so much hatred and selfishness, hoarding so much wealth without helping others? How can we stand so much injustice without standing up to do something about it? Why do we treat our fellow man with so much contempt? Why do we keep putting off till tomorrow what we should do today: that class; that visit to a close relative or loved one we haven’t heard from in a long while; that phone call; that dream; that confession; that treat or promise for our children. Why do we refuse to give up that habit that has made us less what God made us to be? Why do we live as if we are never going to die?? Why?

As I reflected on all who have left this world, I realize that those who are still remembered are those who truly lived because of the impact they made on others while they were alive; Those who were deliberate about doing what was right regardless of the pain or pleasure they got out of it.  As for me, I have decided to hold on to the words of R.A. Salvatore from The Halfling’s Gem which said “I have come to know that death is an important thing to keep in mind — not to complain or to make melancholy, but simply because only with the honest knowledge that one day I will die can I ever truly begin to live.”

"Let a person radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. " Napoleon Hill


The most beautiful smiles are often the ones that once struggled though the tears.

The Power is from within, the choice is yours
Gray Lawrence

 

Be Inspired by Judy O’Beirn

PMA Added only..

You create your future with the power of your intention. Intention is simply the conscious act of determining your future now. Health, harmony in relationships, happiness, money, creativity, and love will come to you in the future, based on your intentions now.

Intend every day and create your future life. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Making the Most of the Hand You’re Dealt

if I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Judy O'BeirnLife has a way of dealing each of us a deck of cards that ranges in numbers and colors. Each and every day we wake up and pull a card and the day has been defined. There are good days and great days and sad days and unhappy days; however there is one thing that is is guaranteed – you have the freedom to accept what you are dealt or you can fold.

Over the course of a little more than four years, I had no idea what cards I would be dealt or that I would desperately need to find the Ace in my deck. It seemed that the only card I was dealt was a joker, and over and over again. My choice was to stay in the game and find my own internal strength to play to the end and see where that lead me.

I believe there will be moments when you feel that your challenges are just too much, but if you look around, you will see others who want to help you, shoulder your burden and give you respite and comfort so you can come back with the courage, faith, and stamina you need. There is so much to learn from others who have already played in the same card game you have.

The strength and power to overcome all types of adversity lies within each one of us – but you are not alone.

Most importantly, almost more important than anything else, is asking “What can I do for others that will make it a tiny wee bit easier to get through a similar life event? And how can I honor those who are gone?“

It is your choice how you deal with the life you have been given. You can wallow in it or you can choose to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and do something for someone else unselfishly. Or for yourself. Find what you are passionate about, get engaged, and before long you will only find the Aces!

The most important message I have for you is that “You are not alone.” Let us be your strength!

“Always remember that who you are is Love-able: able to love and be loved. Love-able is who you were created to be!” – Gladys Diaz

Gray Lawrence

"A smile is a gift for all around us, not to be kept by us; but to be given freely everyday to all you know see and pass by, No matter who or what they are feeling or look like. It is your duty your unwritten law! Your ambition for being put on this earth to make another person SMILE EVERY DAY – Gray Lawrence

REGRET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Optimism

We can learn from our leaders of the past. Thomas Edison’s great optimism gives us a quintessential example of welcoming disaster. On a December night in 1914, fire broke out in the film room of Thomas Edison’s laboratory. As his assets were going up in smoke, it would seem that this sixty-seven-year-old man’s spirit would certainly be crushed. Instead he saw the fire and shouted to his son, “Where’s Mom? Go get her! Tell her to get her friends! They’ll never see a fire like this again!” Later, he said,

“You can always make capital out of disaster.
We’ve just cleared out a bunch of old rubbish.
We’ll build bigger and better on the ruins.”

Thomas Edison could not control the circumstances. Rather than being heartbroken to see his life’s work go up in flames, he chose to welcome the opportunity to start over. Edison, known for his overwhelming optimism, is an inspiration for us today.

Do you live with regrets?  Are you able to put regret behind you easily?

Regret Is Not Your Friend

There are two sides to regret.

The first side involves regret for actions or events we wish had not happened and we would like to take back. We have all said or done things we regret. We may get upset and say things that damage our relationships or we may do things that cause harm. For example, Tiger Woods may regret his unfaithful conduct in his marriage.

I have done many things over my life that I regret, from investing in a scam to getting involved in a risky business venture to help out a friend. However, my regrets are now infrequent. Why? I took the time to identify the main causes of my actions and rooted them out. I had to learn to take responsibility for my contribution to my own troubles and to make values-based decisions, conducting myself in way that leaves little room for regret.

What about you? Think about the times when you felt regret. Is there a common theme? Do behaviours or habits contribute to your regret? What new thoughts or action steps could reduce your feelings of regret for the things you have said or done?

For the most part, the first type of regret can be tempered by time.

The second side of regret involves regret for actions not taken. This is the sin of omission. We must take this side of regret even more seriously because we cannot alter time to retrieve things that were missed: the job we did not take, the investment we ignored, or the opportunity we let pass by. The list can be long.

When I achieved the milestone birthday of 50 years, I felt a greater sense of urgency about all the things I wanted to do, despite my plan to live to 100+. I knew that it was my time to take action.

With keen awareness that mortality is universal and non-negotiable, I want to encourage every individual reading this article to take a stand:

“Starting today, I will live my life without regret, especially as it pertains to activities I want to experience and outcomes I wish to realize in my life.”

Here are a few areas you might wish to consider avoiding missing out on (and then later regretting):

§ Attending your child’s recital or concert

§ Beginning a regular fitness program

§ Travelling to that place you have been dreaming about for years

§ Taking that course to upgrade your skills—perhaps even getting the degree you have been contemplating

§ Trying a new food

§ Taking time for yourself

§ Quitting a job you hate

§ Calling a friend to share coffee or lunch

§ Attending the presentation or concert of someone (or group) you enjoy

§ Writing the article, poem, or book you’ve had percolating for ages

§ Joining the community group you’ve been thinking about

Unless material goods are directly linked to what you want to do or become, please don’t focus on them here. Yes, you can keep a list of the “things” you want to own, but putting a new painting on your wall may not be as meaningful as taking a vacation and having quality time with your family.

When have you said, “If only I had…?” Think about it for a moment. What do you wish you had done or become? What are you going to do about it? At this point, remorse won’t get you where you want to go; forward action will. Forget your excuses and make a decision to live your life without regret.

A research study conducted on individuals over 70 years of age asked participants these questions:

“If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What do you regret?”

The responses showed the following results:

§ They would take more time for themselves.

§ How many times have we met people who dedicated their whole life to others, at the expense of their own needs and goals?

§ They would take more risks.

§ This is the “if only” part of regret. “If only I had bought the property, taken that job, said ‘no’ to…” and on the story goes.

§ They would dedicate themselves to a cause or purpose that would last beyond their lifetime.

§ What’s your legacy? What will you be remembered for? Will you even be remembered at all?

A life lived without regret is living on purpose and making a difference, whatever the context. How do you rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? [1 = Poor (plenty of regret); 10 = Excellent (little or no regret)]

Let’s all strive to be as close to 10 as we can in all areas of our lives! Start now. No regrets, please!

ACTION STEPS:

1. List events in the past that have caused you to experience the most regret.
Is there a common theme or set of situations where regret is recurring for you? What do you think the root cause(s) might be? What can you do to reduce your regret?

2. Think about all the things you regret not
What are your reasons for not taking action—lack of courage, not feeling worthy, compromising your values for others, etc.?

3. Make a list of things you can start doing immediately to reduce your regrets.
Don’t make excuses for what you can’t do. Focus on what you can and will

4. Make a commitment to follow your list of actions.

5. Move on with confidence.

6. Confirm your passions and connect with your purpose to reduce your regrets.

7. Read my newest book, The Quest For Purpose. It will take you on a personal journey of discovery to help you confirm and affirm your passions in life.

8. Benchmark your gifts, talents, and passions by using CRG’s assessments.
Your results will assist you to establish your beliefs with confidence, and increase your passion in all areas of your life.

Remember, our mortality is guaranteed. To those of you who are still procrastinating, I suggest you get started with your no-regrets philosophy this very moment. When you have no regrets, then you are truly living On Purpose!

Gray Lawrence

“The point is not to live without any regrets it is to not hate ourselves for having them..” Gray Lawrence

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Contact Information
Gray Lawrence

grayjl63@gmail.com

Skype: graynat71

Mob:+44 7726591314
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