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Afraid of failure?

 

“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”—Tallulah Bankhead 

 

Afraid of Failure? Read the following steps

Steps to Break Down Failure

Have you ever felt like a failure? I totally have. But I am not alone.

There is an epidemic of feelings of failure in any country and failure is so definitive. When you think you failed, there is not much wiggle room to be anything other than “a failure.” A horrible way to see yourself! This becomes a belief ingrained and tainting everything else we do and try. Here are four ways to break it down.

A. Lower Your Expectations

Failure is in relation to something. Usually some standard or expectation that was not met: I am not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough. Having unreasonable expectations is more detrimental on our health than anything else. It brings in judgment, which compounds every other problem we already have.

When we have a feeling which is appropriate to the situation, and then we judge ourselves, then we worry! the problem becomes so much bigger and harder to recover from. Then, we berate ourselves for not recovering quickly with another layer of judgment. The original feeling is nothing compared to the complex mess and layers of our own judgement and fear.

Do not add them. Allow yourself to feel and do not worry, you can handle it. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself, lower those outrageous expectations! Instead of dwelling, do something. Seek a “Mentor with a Servant’s Heart”

 

B. Know there is a point to trying

Past feelings of failure attempt to take away our point to trying to feel better or accomplish something. We get convinced that we will fail anyway. We assume trying hard will make us more disappointed when we do actually fail, and so we put less effort in in hopes to protect our heart. With less effort, we may actually not achieve our goal and we can say “See? I always fail. Good thing I did not try.”

The point is “Rarely is anything accomplished without trying” And if we try and don’t succeed, our heart actually feels better, not worse. We build confidence knowing that we did our best. We feel empowered because we can respond to things in life. This is giving in to your fears

 

C. Notice your accomplishment

Simple. See the good in you instead of the bad. Focus on something else beside that one standard you missed. Have confidence in the efforts you did put forth. Notice other things you received from the process, a good example are  friends you’ve made along the journey and “ what you have  learned”  and how it made you grow. Remember all other accomplishments in your life. be positive

 

D. Remember it is not over

We sometimes assume we failed too soon. Then we feel devastated and stop trying. If you are still alive, you could not have failed, since it is not over. Yes, your standards and expectation might change, but if you are still kicking, you cannot by definition be a failure. Readjust your expectations and try again ALWAYS -  Never Give up!!!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can……. I can, I can!

 

Foot note for the winner in you.

Your dreams and desires to win are down to you and no one else… If no one is listening find those that will, live the life you desire with those that have trodden the path before.  Then teach those who sit in your wake.

Be the person you wish to be & leave negative in the slow lane.

When you realise you are a winner and find the next gear be ready for what awaits you.  Perhaps you are ready and now & looking for the opportunity to work for yourself  so you can help those less fortunate, with their own mental attitude, be the teacher & TEACH. 

The road is paved with GOLD just open the right door in your mind and take the first step.  Gray

Study those who failed and failed again, then “WON” that came before you read the right books:  “The Secret & The Power” by Rhonda Byrne: Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, to name but a few..

  I was never afraid of failure only the lack of trying  Gray

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”—Walt Disney

 

The world Owes You Everything and nothing but your goal’s are your own decision Believe in your self – Gray Lawrence

Winning in life is more than just money; it is about winning on the inside and knowing that you have played the game of life with all you had, and then some!   Gray Lawrence 

How to avoid the thing!

“One of if not the best Blogger I follow”
Seth Godin  "I’ll know it when I see it"

This is a waste for the buyer and the seller.

When you have a business or individual waiting for you to bring them custom work, it can lead to an endless cycle of, "hmmmm not quite right." If the architectural drawings, high-heeled shoes or ad campaign doesn’t meet their unstated standards, you’re back to doing it again.

Sometimes you can make a handsome profit on all the fees you charge to redo things that indulge the ego of the customer, but more likely than not, your time is wasted until they’re happy. If you have a client who feels the same way, you can work together to save time and money by being clear with each other about what’s wanted.

I think helping a client say what they want before they see it is a worthy endeavor.

  1. Do it on purpose. When engaging with a new client, intentionally create an environment where personal taste is described in advance, and as much boundary-building as possible is done when it’s cheap to iterate, not at the end when it’s expensive.
  2. Demand benchmarks. The world is filled with things that are a lot like what you’ve been asked to create. So mutually identify them. Show me three other websites that feel like what you’re hoping to feel like. Hand me a hardcover book that has type that reads the way you want yours to read. Walk me through a building that has the vibe you’re looking for…
  3. Describe the assignment before you start. Using your words and the words of the client, precisely state what problem you’re trying to solve. "We’re trying to build something that does a, b and c, and not d…"
  4. Then, before you show off your proposal, before you hand in your work, restate the problem again. "You asked us to do a, b and c at a cost of under X. What I’m about to show you does a, it does b and it does c… and it costs half of X." This sort of intentional restatement of the scope of work respects your client by honoring their stated intent, at the same time it focuses your work on the stated goals.
  5. Make a decision about whether you want a reputation for doing this sort of focused work. If you do, don’t work for clients who don’t buy into the process. Over time, you’ll earn the kind of clients you want.

Of course, this isn’t going to work every time. Sometimes the client loves the power of saying no. Sometimes the client isn’t articulate enough to describe what she wants. And sometimes the goal is magic, and no one knows how to describe that in advance.

Four questions worth answering

Who is your next customer? (Conceptually, not specifically. Describe his outlook, his tribe, his hopes and dreams and needs and wants…)

What is the story he told himself (about the world, about his situation, about his perceptions) before he met you?

How do you encounter him in a way that he trusts the story you tell him about what you have to offer?

What change are you trying to make in him, his life, or his story?

Start with this before you spend time on tactics, technology or scalability.

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. – Winston Churchill  

Gray Lawrence                                                            

"Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day. -Will Durant

6 Things Happy People Never Do

PMA Added:

You just might be the miracle someone is looking for today.
Remember that every single moment has a miracle of possibility.
If I am present to the moment, something I know, something I can share, something I can give or some way I can presence love can actually bring a miracle in a moment that I am sharing with someone.
I encourage you to walk through this day remembering that you just might be the miracle someone is looking for today. Here’s To Miracles, Mary Morrissey

 

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

6 Things Happy People Never Do

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design into the present.

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savouring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.

But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions.  Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Those who accept you are your friends.  Those who don’t are your teachers.  If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true.  Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem.  What other people call you is their problem…

What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.

3.  Rely on other people and external events for happiness.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such.  Don’t let your happiness be held hostage.  It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.

As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.  Take full responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier.  Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy.  Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment, and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment you seek.

The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation.  Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you.  A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you like.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

4.  Hold on to resentment.

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past.  What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page.

We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go.

Forgiveness is the remedy.  It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

5.  Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.

You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.  So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.

When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK AWAY.  When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.

Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself.  Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts.  They are all lies.  They solve nothing.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

6.  Resist the truth.

It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth.  Lives come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.  If you resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night.  You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.

So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular.  It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one.  It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live.  Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

Your turn…

 

When we start looking at everything that might go wrong, we fear then to attempt.  Our opportunity today is to pay attention to any thoughts that could be vibrations of doubt and turn them into faith.  Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.  But not today.  Our doubts will not have their way with us today.  Our faith shall prevail.  To Your Prevailing Faith,  Mary Morrissey

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Gray Lawrence

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

Develope yourself

Change your mental attitude, and the world around you will change accordingly.
Your world will become what you choose to make it. You can reach great heights of success, or you can settle for a miserable life that is devoid of hope. The choice is yours. When you choose a positive course, you set in motion an unstoppable force that will allow you to have a fulfilling career, the love of your family and friends, good physical and mental health, and all of the other true riches of life. To change your world, you must change it from the inside out. You must begin with yourself. When you choose the course that puts your life on a positive track, you will change your life for the better, and you will also positively influence the people with whom you come in contact.            Napoleon Hill

Develop your core self.
‘ ‘Human beings are the only creatures who do not mature automatically. A baby chick has no choice but to turn into a chicken. But the world is full of people stuck in childhood and adolescence, no matter how old they happen to be. For us, to mature is a decision: Adulthood is an achievement, one that requires—and results in—personal power.
This can takes decades, but it starts with a vision of the "core self." This is the part of you that connects to reality, placing you at the centre of experiences that you personally create. To have a core self is to be the author of your own story; it is the exact opposite of being a victim, who must live a life authored by others.

Powerful thinking creates a powerful energy in your life, but it all starts with a powerful heart “Heart Set” which creates a “Powerful Mind Set”

Align yourself with the flow of evolution, or personal growth.
Once you establish your core self as a goal, your path will unfold and you will evolve. This evolution is wobbly at first; everyone has at least some elements of ignorance and immaturity. But’ ‘thanks to free will, you can help guide your own evolution. The simple fact is that we all desire more and better things for ourselves. If those more and better things are good for our growth, then we are guiding our own positive and powerful evolution. In India they make a distinction between dharma and adharma. Dharma includes whatever naturally upholds life: happiness, truth, duty, virtue, wonder, worship, reverence, appreciation, nonviolence, love, self-respect. On the other hand, adharma consists of choices that do not support life naturally: anger, violence, fear, control, dogmatism, scepticism, unvirtuous acts, prejudice, addiction, intolerance, and unconsciousness in general.
For our purposes, dharma is the ultimate power. It easily supports you, a single individual. What is asked of you is that you honestly look at your everyday life and the choices you are making. Ask yourself how to increase the dharmic
choices and decrease the adharmic ones.

You learn in life that the only person you can really correct and change is yourself.   You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.    Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.  Stan Billue

 

Trust in a power that transcends everyday reality.
Nothing described so far will come true without a higher reality. For the moment, let’s leave aside religion and any reference to God. Fortunately, to have even a speck of consciousness is to be connected to the finite consciousness that supports life, evolution, creativity, and intelligence. None of these things are accidental or a privilege handed out to the lucky few.
To use a metaphor, imagine that you are caught in a net. All nets have holes, so find one, and jump through it. I’ve known wives of abusive husbands who found a hole through, say, learning to paint. For them, it was an escape route, and as they made art, their thinking changed from "I am trapped and can do nothing" to "I must be worth more than I imagined, because look at this beautiful thing I created." Escape routes exist along the qualities hidden in consciousness. They include:
Creativity. Go beyond by discovery and exploration. This leads to insight. Your inner vision clears. You start to see glimmers of light through the fog of your situation. Something more beautiful starts to attract you, and you want to go toward it.
Intelligence. Let your mind lead the way. You start having newer, more exciting thoughts than the old habitual ones you’ve been following. Beliefs are challenged. New points of view attract you, so you move toward them. You’ll want to expand your mind in place of living behind defences and boundaries.
Love and compassion. Discover that you can forgive yourself and others. Fantasies of hurt and revenge are replaced with emotional softening. You see that there is untapped love around you, so you move toward it. The fact that you desire to love and be loved starts to motivate you, without excuses about being unworthy.
Quantum leaps. Notice—and learn—when you have an epiphany, a moment of dramatic awakening. These are the great "aha" experiences that peel away an entire layer of reality. We say that the heavens open, but really it’s a new level of consciousness, one that brings more light.
Devotion. Understand that life is full of awe and wonder. From this you see a reason to revere your own existence. You have been placed in a world where you can be devoted to something, and your worship gives you a sense of worth.
These escape routes all lead back to the person you really are, and that person know that what really counts extends far beyond the individual: the glory of creation, the beauty of nature, the heart qualities of love and compassion, the mental power to discover new things, and those unexpected epiphanies that bring the presence of God—these universal aspects are your true source of power. They are you, and you are all of them.

Our highest power is love, and it is one thing each of us has an unlimited amount of. How much love do you give to others in one day? Each day we have an opportunity to set out with this great, unlimited power in our possession, and pour it over every person and circumstance. Love is appreciating, complimenting, feeling gratitude, and speaking good words to others We have so much love to give, and the more that we give, the more we receive. May the joy be with you, The Secret Rhonda Byrne

 

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

Gray Lawrence  Utility Warehouse Distributor 

“Seek opportunities and experiences that invigorate you, those that are challenging, and that demand you show up as your very best self.” – David Howitt

Be Inspired by Debra Keirce

PMA Added

“Always look for the positive. Don’t let anything stop you or get in the way of your goals and dreams.” – Sage Donnelly

 

Dare to Dream Big!

Debra KeirceIf I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Do it.
Dare to dream.
Dream big.
Dream the details.
Imagine the day when your dream comes true.
Surround yourself with people who support your dream. In turn, support them in their dreams.

In this way, you will succeed. Be willing to sacrifice, and be willing to walk away from those who criticize or distract. Be generous and loving in your pursuits. Lift others up because you know that your biggest assets in this journey are the love and support of those around you. Let go of anyone who tries to hold you back. Do not judge, and do not allow yourself to be judged. Keep your eyes on the prize. It doesn’t matter whether people understand your intentions. It doesn’t matter if you fail in your first attempts. You will fail in your first attempts. The journey will be full of unexpected turns and amazing adventures. Take time to thoroughly enjoy achievements along the way. The biggest dreams are full of the biggest joys, the deepest disappointments and the most adversity. Through it all, keep an unrelenting focus on your goals.

“Dream” is a verb. It is an act that starts with a single thought. It’s not something that happens to you. It’s not a story you can watch play out on its own. It is not a description of something attained by a privileged few. It’s not a reward for being in the right place at the right time. Dreaming requires your active participation. Plan for success. Structure that single thought in a unique way that describes joy, contentment, peace, happiness and success for you on a very personal level. Nurture and feed that thought so it can grow. Chance opportunities will present themselves, but don’t rely on chance. Rather, be prepared to forge ahead when doors open for you. If you dare to dream, be tenacious in pursuit of that dream. Invest yourself heart and soul.

Even before you reach your goals, you will inspire people to set their own. With every challenge that knocks you down, people will see you as a Luminary when you get back up and soldier on.

If you want to change the world in a positive way, dream with passion.

See the path to the finish line as your life’s journey. And when one dream ends, celebrate and start a new one. Show us how it’s done. Simply, dream. Do it.

Debra Keirce is an internationally collected artist who lives in Northern Virginia, USA. Debra paints from life, photo references, and her imagination. Her paintings are very realistic, but her subject matter is nothing that exists for you to readily photograph. For this reason, her art is often referred to as hauntingly familiar. Art critic Brian Sherwin, Editor of The Art Edge, commented on Debra’s still life paintings. Sherwin said, "Artist Debra Keirce approaches her still life paintings with a playful sense of surrealism. The work I observed appears to capture a dream-like quality. This quality is heightened by Debra’s love of unique still life arrangements." For Ms. Keirce, being an artist is the continuation of a dream that started in Detroit in 1978 when she was 17 years old. That was the year she decided to live a life of magic, and seemingly improbable, if not impossible, goals. She decided then and there to become a chemical engineer. She later left engineering to raise a family when she was on the verge of being promoted into management, raise three children as a stay at home mom, and began a successful career as a professional fine artist. And, the dream continues.

For more information, please visit DebKArt.com.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

Gray Lawrence

Independent Distributor Utility Warehouse

"Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

 

 

 

 

 

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Gray Lawrence

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