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    Successful Networker Words of Wisdom

     

     

    A positive course of Action with a Positive Attitude brings life. ~ Gray

    Everything comes if a man will only wait. I have brought myself by long meditation to the conviction that a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfilment. Benjamin Disraeli

    Trilogy of Wisdom

    Three things to LOVE                 Courage ~ Gentleness ~Affectionateness

    Three things to ADMIRE              Intellectual Power ~ Dignity ~ Gracefulness

    Three things to HATE                 Arrogance ~ Cruelty ~ Ingratitude

    Three things to DESPISE             Meanness ~ Affectation ~ Envy

    Three things to REVERENCE         Religion ~ Justice ~ Self Denial

    Three things to DELIGHT IN         Beauty ~ Frankness ~ Freedom

    Three things to WISH FOR           Health ~ Friends ~ A Cheerful Spirit

    Three things to PRAY FOR            Faith ~ Peace ~ Purity of Heart

    Three things to ESTEEM              Wisdom~ Prudence ~ Firmness

    Three things to LIKE                   Cordiality ~ Good Humour ~ Mirthfulness

    Three things to AVOID                 Idleness ~ Loquacity ~ Flippant Testing

    Three things to SUSPECT             Flattery ~ Obsequiousness ~ Sudden affection

    Three things to CULTIVATE          Good Books ~ Good Friends ~ Good Humour

    Three things to CONTEND FOR      The Faith ~ Country ~ Friends

    Three things to GOVERN              The Tongue ~ Temper ~ Impulse

    Three things to be PREPARED FOR  Change ~ Decay ~ Death

    There are two kinds of people: Those who say, “I will believe it when I see it.”  And those who say, “To see it, I know I must believe it.”

    May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

    Your Vision of the future, lies from within
    Gray Lawrence
    Successful Networker

    The Greatest leaders of the world were men and women of quick decision -Napoleon Hill

    Natural Selling Lesson five The Power of Listening

    "My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company."  Jane Austen

    “The Power of Listening is available to us all, only those who listen will gain great benefits in life, love personal & financial wealth . The decision is yours”   Gray Lawrence

    The Power of Listening

    Listening – The Most Important Skill You Can Learn

    Principle 3. Listening to What is Being Meant, Not Just What is Being Said.

    Ask yourself. Do you really listen to people? Do you really listen to and actually attempt to understand what they are saying and meaning without letting your own interpretations get in the way?

    This is how most people listen. 45% of the time is spent doing what?

    Working out what they’re going to say next!

    Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the conversation so that they can say it!!! Leaving only 10% of the time for actual listening!

    So are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it?  No we’re not!

    So what percentage of time must we listen?  100%!

    To actually listen to, hear and understand what another person is saying, we must spend 100% of the time listening.

    Now, you might ask, how do you listen 100% of the time without thinking?

    Well, here are a few clues.

    The Power of Your mind Head with detailsFirst, you can think 10 times faster than most people can talk.

    If you know how the features of your solutions solve problems, you’ll hear what specific features are relevant and how to talk about them later as specific advantages and benefits.

    It takes the guessing out of what to present and how to present it.

    Imagine having all your features in lots of automatic drawers in your mind… just like your CD drawer in your computer… and having the correct ones automatically pop out based on what you hear a person wants.

    Secondly, you don’t have to think about what you’re going to ask next, because;

    1. You will know what questions to ask and when to ask them by learning from a powerful framework that is available to you in the Natural Selling Approach

    2. What you’re going to ask is also found in the answers you get to your previous questions! It’s all there! It’s just that you have to listen to the answers to get the information

    3. Stop re-interpreting what people say to you based on your own biases or life’s experiences, or your own judgments, prejudices and thoughts! All this does is get in your way of understanding. People don’t think what you think they think!

    You’re thinking that they do can get in your way!

    For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you made and it was totally out of context with what you meant, and you wondered where he or she was coming from? Well, it’s likely that the other person was interpreting what they thought you were talking about. Do you do the same thing to others?

    If you don’t listen and are impatiently waiting to say what you want to say you’ll miss vital clues to help your potential partner or customer come to a logical conclusion to change.

    Result? You’ll miss the mark and will meet resistance most of the time!

    "Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."  Og Mandino

    Let’s look at this more closely. What do you normally listen for when people reply to your questions? Do you listen to what you want to hear with the intent to reply based on what you want to say? Or do you listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from and reply to them based on their own deep inner truth?

    People Have Two Truths

    For example, if you ask a person whether they like their job, or whether they like the skin care products they are presently taking, would you hope they would say no? In the Natural Selling Approach, it doesn’t matter what they answer, because people carry "Two truths". The Natural Selling Approach allows people to reveal both sides of their truths, and reveal which is the stronger.

    The power of your positive action is a force greater than you can fathomHere is an illustration. If you ask someone if they like where they live they could reply Yes or No. If they said, "Yes", and you asked later, "If you could live anywhere else, where would that be?" and they gave another location, you will have discovered there is another truth to explore. One of those two "Truths" will ultimately reveal itself as stronger than the other.

    If they replied "No" to the first question and were subsequently asked the same question about living somewhere else, again the real truth gets revealed.

    Listening is such a powerful skill. If you learn how to listen to people you’ll find that they will immediately be attracted to you and most will want to listen to you. A large part of my book is spent demonstrating how you can do this.

    You may find it useful to take a short test of your listening skills that I have devised. Click below. You might be surprised at the results!

    Now you’ve covered some of the basics behind the importance of listening, let’s turn your attention to what you’re listening for. We’ll recap the

    Principle:

    Listening to What is Being Meant, not Just What is Being Said.

    The two key words here are, said and meant.

    Said is the logical or factual side of the problem solving equation. It comprises about 10% of the problem. Meant is the personal, feelings or subjective side… and it comprises the other 90%.

    In The Natural Selling Approach what is important is to focus more on what is being meant. Why? Well, do people make changes based mostly on logic or feelings? Feelings! So that is the level you have most of your dialogues.

    To illustrate this, think of someone saying they don’t have enough money.

    Is that a fact or a feeling? It’s a fact! They might say it with feeling, but it’s still a fact.

    So if you were to ask someone, "What one thing would make a difference in your life?", which is a logical question, and they said, "More money", which is a logical answer… and you then responded with your solution by saying, "I can show you how to do that"… you would be talking at a logical and factual level. And what response do you think you would get from most people?

    Negative or positive? Mostly they will reject your idea.

    The reason is that talking logically with people won’t help you very much to help them because you’re only addressing 10% of their problem if they have one!

    If you want to be of help, find out what is underneath this problem called "lack of money". In other words, find out what is causing it, what it means to them personally and how they feel about it. Find out the meaning of what they say, not just what they are saying. You will find their answers are totally unique to them, and if you respond to their uniqueness as opposed to coming out with a canned presentation or script, you will automatically attract them to you.

    "Facts belong to the world. Feelings belong to the individual".

    If you ask without manipulation, most people will tell you.

    It’s also where the relationship and the sale is. To be more precise, it’s where both of you can discover if there is a need and the depth of desire to do something about it.

    So understanding how to listen and what to listen for and how to respond is vital in the Natural Selling Approach.

    And when you understand what someone wants and why they want it…. you will be able to customize your solution and present it in such a precise way that it will mean something to the other person based on how they see things. Why will you be able to do this? Because they will have told you everything you need to know to make your winning presentation.

    What are todays thoughts? think about what has been covered today before the next lesson.

    Feeding Back What You Think You Heard!

    Exercises:

    Continue yesterdays exercise. Each time you have a conversation with someone today, turn it into a Dialogue. Focus simply on LISTENING to them!

    As far as possible, don’t say anything yourself except to ask questions and keep the Dialogue moving along.

    When in Dialogue, observe yourself and be aware of how often you have the urge to interrupt or finish the other person’s sentences for them! Ask yourself whether you’re really serving yourself (or the other person) by doing this!

    Your success is your decision: these lessons are a guide, the rest is up to you….

     

    If you can’t manage your own mental attitude, what makes you think you can manage others?

    Why is it that often those who believe they would be the best managers of others – if they were only given the opportunity – haven’t learned to manage themselves properly? Before you can ever have any hope of managing others effectively, you must first learn to set an example for others to follow. It is simply impossible for you to inspire others to high levels of achievement if you cannot inspire yourself to do the same. Don’t make the mistake that many others make by saying, “When they make me a manager, I’ll show them I can manage.” The first move is yours. You must first prove yourself worthy.    Napoleon Hill

     

    Gray Lawrence                      Successful Networker                                                                    Opportunities are never lost. . . . They are found by someone else!” – Mike Mc Donald

    Be Inspired by Amethyst Wyldfyre

    As before PMA added the story is untouched and as all others worthy of your attention

    "The greatest revolution in our generation is that of human beings, who by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives." Marilyn Ferguson

     

    Savoring The Journey And The Destiny

    If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

    Amethyst WyldfyreOver the course of my lifetime there have been many dark moments – moments of trauma, drama, tragedy and un-clarity. In the depths of the dark night of the soul experiences that sometimes have lasted for several years I have found myself again and again on my knees in some way reaching out for support, guidance and a way home to peace and harmony.

  • I’ve been advised to stay focused on the journey -it’s about the journey and not the destination. I’ve been encouraged to focus on what’s good in the moment – truth is that there are moments where it’s a mighty task to focus on the good!

    I’ve also been guided to invoke the vision or dream of where I’m going – only focus attention and intention on what I’m creating and continue to work towards that goal with the understanding that whatever is happening in the moment is going to be juicy fodder for the manifestation of that ultimate destiny.

    I want to encourage you instead to focus on the AND – both the Journey AND the Destiny.

    The Journey for me is the place where we are receiving in the present moment all the information, guidance, gifts, blessings, experiences, lessons, and moments that make up the book of our life.

    The Destiny of course is the end game – the life WELL lived – the dreams manifested, the visions achieved. A life well lived is one where you have surrendered to being made love to by life itself – those tender moments of pleasure, those sharp piercing moments of pain, culminating in a climactic orgasmic experience that brings us to a state of pure bliss and unification with the Divine.

    Remember to breathe in the beauty.

    Remember to invoke your vision in those moments when it seems all is lost – that dream destination provides the motivation to keep moving forward through the darkest of days.

    Remember to harvest the golden nuggets of wisdom and truth from those challenging experiences on the journey.

    Remember to see each day at least one thing you can be grateful for – even if it’s just that you are breathing.

    Remember to create time and space for yourself – to disengage, notice and allow whatever is to be as it is and to examine what it is that YOU really want and how you want to spend your life force.

    Remember to look for the angels who will come along your path at the most unusual of moments to support, love and assist you when you least expect it and acknowledge and recognize their loving ministrations with gratitude.

    Remember to share your gifts with others and be an angel for those who are not quite as far along on the journey as you are.

    Remember to love life and let life make love to you – it’s an orgasmic experience if only you will truly surrender to it!

    Journey Joyfully – AND Enjoy the Destination.

  • "Thoughts are things; they have tremendous power. Thoughts of doubt and fear are pathways to failure. When you conquer negative attitudes of doubt and fear you conquer failure. Thoughts crystallize into habit and habit solidifies into circumstances." Brian Adams

     

    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

    Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

    "Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

    Successful Networker Self Talk and Criticism

    First we make our attitudes. Then our attitudes make us.~ Denis Waitley

    Criticism can be very subtle in the way it creeps into our thoughts. Here are some examples of criticism to help you become aware of its subtlety, so you can eliminate it from your thoughts:

    The weather is awful today.
    The traffic is terrible.
    The service is really bad.
    Oh no, look at the line.
    He/she is always late.
    How long do we have to wait for our order?
    That motorist is a lunatic.
    It’s so hot in here.
    I’ve been on hold for so long!

    These are subtle things, but the law of attraction is listening to them all. You have the ability to appreciate something in every single circumstance. There is always something to be grateful for.

    May the joy be with you. The Secret  Rhonda Byrne

    There’s no more important criticism than self criticism.

    There’s no amount of external validation that can undo the constant drone of internal criticism.

    And negative self talk is hungry for external corroboration. One little voice in the ether that agrees with your internal critic is enough to put you in a tailspin.

    Don't let people upset you today it's not worth itThe remedy for negative self talk, then, is not the search for unanimous praise from the outside world. It’s a hopeless journey, and one that destroys the work, because you will water it down in fear of that outside critic that amplifies your internal one.

    The remedy is accurate and positive self talk. Endless amounts of it.

    Not delusional affirmations or silly metaphysical pronouncements about the universe. No, merely the reassertion of obvious truths, a mantra that drives away the nonsense the lizard brain is selling as truth. 

    You cannot reason with negative self talk or somehow persuade it that the world disagrees. All you can do is surround it with positive self talk, drown it out and overwhelm it with concrete building blocks of great work, the combination of expectation, obligation and possibility.

    When in doubt, tell yourself the truth.

    If you replace one negative thought with a positive one, you are going to feel great things begin to take shape. If you replace ALL of your negative thoughts… imagine the possibilities!"       Dr. Steve G. Jones

    A practical definition of reputation

    Reputation is what people expect us to do next. It’s their expectation of the quality and character of the next thing we produce or say or do.

    We control our actions (even when it feels like we don’t) and our actions over time (especially when we think no one is looking) earn our reputation.

    Do not worry at all about negative thoughts, and do not try to control them. All you have to do is begin to think good thoughts each day. Plant as many good thoughts as you can in each day. As you begin to think good thoughts you will attract more and more good thoughts, and eventually the good thoughts will wipe out the negative thoughts altogether.

    May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

    Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

    "Life is the sum of all your choices" Albert Camus

    Successful Networker Your Goals and Dreams

    The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. Robert Kiyosaki

    How can you make a big dream come true? 

    You need to have one secret element, and when you have that secret element, nothing will get in your way. That element is an intense desire! You must desire something with all of your heart to manifest it. Often the difference between those who manifest something and those who do not, is the element of desire. When you have a burning desire for something you ignite a fire within you that attracts with an incredible force. The law of attraction is magnetically drawn to that intense fire element in you, and it responds by gathering all universal forces to make your dream come true.  

    Very often we ask for things because we think our life will be better with those things, but inside of us we do not have an immense desire for those things. When you don’t feel that immense desire within you, you are receiving guidance telling you that this is not something you really want. That is why it is so important to get clear on what it is that you really want with all of your heart, because what you really want with all of your heart is the very desire that you can manifest quickly. 

    When your heart is on fire with desire you will attract the right things to do, you will find visualizing so easy, and you will find it is effortless to think positive thoughts of your desire. You will attract all the qualities you need, such as strength, courage, belief, persistence, faith, and a powerful will. An intense desire lights up your being, producing a magnetic force that enables the law of attraction to cut through every physical obstacle for you and make your dream come true.   

    Go for your dreams! Don’t cheat yourself in your life with petty desires because you don’t think you can live your dream. THE DREAM inside you is the one thing that you have the greatest power to create, because you have an immense desire for it. Find the dream inside you – and make it come true! “The Law of Attraction”  Rhonda Byrne

    Do you have any goals?  Not just dreams, but real goals?

    You should actually have both.  As Napoleon Hill said, “A goal is a dream with a deadline”.  The starting point is therefore a dream.  You must always dream, or eventually you will run out of goals.

    Goals allow you to change the direction in your favourSome people feel that dreaming is a waste of time and energy.  The term “daydream” is used more often than not as a criticism.  But dreaming is most definitely NOT a waste of time and energy, it is something you must keep doing.  Not all the time, of course!  You don’t want to spend all your time just dreaming, or you will never achieve anything.  But make sure you spend enough time dreaming to have a good supply of goals to achieve, or you will again never achieve anything.  You need to have the right balance between the two.

    In my experience far too many people leave out this first step.  As a result they find they have no real goals, and wonder why life seems to have become more of a “grind” than a joyful experience.

    Dreams express what your soul is telling you let it outHaving dreams is a creative activity.  Turning those dreams into goals is a practical activity.  To use “Right Brain – Left Brain” terminology, the start of the process, having dreams, is a “Right Brain” activity and turning dreams into goals is a “Left Brain” activity.  You should be aware, though, that the concept of your right and left hemispheres of your brain having radically different functions is regarded by psychologists as a myth.  Psychologists say that both hemispheres work together to achieve most tasks. But perhaps another way of looking at that is the same as I am saying here – you NEED both hemispheres to be working together; you NEED both the creativity and practicality.

    Dreamers
    In planning to acquire your share of the riches, let no one influence you to scorn the dreamer. Napoleon Hill

    If you sometimes find life a bit boring I suggest you start by checking to see if you have forgotten to keep dreaming.  If you have, that is your problem.  Start creating those dreams again.  Don’t worry about the fact that you cannot yet see how some of those dreams will be achieved.  Give the Universe more credit than that.  It has enormous power and that power can be harnessed to turn your dreams into reality – but only if you have those dreams in the first place!

    Getting in touch with your inner child that wants to keep dreaming is therefore an extremely important step.  Don’t allow the adult in your to squash that inner child!

    Goals that are not written down are just wishesOnce you have made sure the flow of dreams is there you can move on to the next step – turning some of them into goals.  Notice I have said “some of them”.  Do not try to turn them all into goals!  That is actually one way of eventually turning off the flow of dreams.  You will find many dreams cannot yet be turned into goals, and unless you watch what is happening carefully the “adult” in you will react by telling the “child” in you to stop producing dreams it cannot turn into reality.  The “child” will then follow those instructions, and the wonderful flow of dreams will diminish and eventually stop altogether.  But some of them MUST be turned into goals if you are ever going to achieve anything.  Turn them into goals by selecting the ones that most resonate with you and try to create some deadlines.  Those deadlines may be far in the future.  If they are, break down the dreams into smaller tasks which lead to achieving the ultimate dream, and apply deadlines for the first steps.

    Individuals with positive mental attitudes are never found in a rut.
    Individuals with a positive attitude are those who somehow always manage to find something new and interesting even in the most mundane tasks. They don’t allow themselves to be bored, because they are always seeking ways to do things faster, better, and more efficiently. If you make it a practice to find better ways to do the same old things, you will soon be marked for advancement. You will be supervising others who are performing your old job because you’ve proven that you are a person who can be counted on to take the initiative and do what needs to be done without being told. Napoleon Hill

    There is plenty of help online which you can tap into in order to follow both of these principles – dream more, and create more goals.  Make sure you DO tap into it, and your life will be far more exciting and far more productive.

    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

    Gray Lawrence Successful Networker

    “Life is the sum of all your choices” Albert Camus

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    Gray Lawrence

    gray@graylawrence.co.uk

    Skype: graynat71

    Ph: +44 1522 691508
    Mob:+44 7726591314
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